Blinded by Love

“...I knew him.”

“Huh? You mean Sir Damien?” Medrauta asked.

The two of them had made their way through the academy’s halls rather silently as they departed from Eirlys’ office. While the silence was by no means awkward, Medrauta thought it was slightly weird that Viviane hadn’t uttered a word during the entire discussion about Damien, so she was relieved to hear her beloved lady’s voice once again.

Viviane nodded. “Yes. However, I... don’t think it would’ve been appropriate for me to speak of him at the time.”

“Why’s that?” Medrauta asked, confused. “I think Lady Estelle would’ve been quite happy to hear more about her former knight.”

“...I don’t think so. Not about my encounters with him, at least.” Viviane’s voice was barely more than a whisper, a swathe of complicated emotions swirling in her eyes. “They weren’t exactly pleasant ones.”

Upon seeing Viviane’s face, Medrauta had a pretty good idea of what had happened between Viviane and Damien especially given the latter’s connection to Isabella. The revelation caused conflicted emotions to brew in Medrauta, but she remained silent and allowed her lady to elaborate.

“My first meeting with him was after an etiquette class. For that particular class, we were supposed to participate in a round of socializing and share one of our interests. I... brought a book.” Viviane’s eyes moistened as she recalled the event, but no tears fell. She was stronger than that now. “It was a gift from my mother and even now, the story remains one of my favorites... even if I no longer have that book with me.”

Medrauta’s lips formed a thin line. She was frustrated at the fact that Viviane was forced to suffer and lose something precious to her, but it had happened in the past. She knew that no matter how angry she became, there was nothing she could do to reclaim Viviane’s book.

Viviane shook her head. “I don’t know why, but Lady Isabella had already marked me as her target back then. Had it just been her and her friends, even I might’ve been able to run away, but she had Sir Damien with her that day, and needless to say, my book was destroyed. Of course, I reported the incident to the Round Table, but I’m sure you know how that went.”

Even now, Medrauta had no idea why the Round Table was so biased against Viviane. In the first place, the Round Table was supposed to act as an impartial organization that regulated the activities of knights and nobles across the empire, answerable only to the Imperial Family and select individuals like Merlynne, the noblewoman who had been selected to lead the organization.

Medrauta thought that the situation would improve after she became Viviane’s knight, but she had been wrong. In fact, it had become worse. Before, the Round Table used to at least send condescending replies to Viviane’s reports and complaints, but after Medrauta swore her oath to Viviane, the Round Table stopped interacting with Viviane entirely.

Of course, she had intended to bring this up with Merlynne during their scheduled meeting after the festival, but due to the circumstances of the war, that meeting was now indefinitely postponed. In the end, all Medrauta could do was apologize.

“...I’m sorry. If only I’d met you sooner, perhaps—”

“No. There’s no need for you to burden yourself with such thoughts, Medrauta. Even though I was bullied for most of my time here, I don’t regret coming to Avalyne Academy at all. Had I not been bullied... Had I been treated like a duke’s daughter should, then our paths probably never would have crossed. So at the very least, I’m glad for that.”

“...I’m glad we met too, but I just... I just wish you had a happier time here at the academy. Every day I came to pick you up after class, you looked so relieved. It was almost like seeing a prisoner set free from the cell every time.” Medrauta sighed. “I hated that, you know?”

Viviane giggled, remembering how she’d felt. Of course, she had thought her classes mentally draining thanks to the efforts of both her classmates and her instructor. Just as luck would have it, none of her friends’ schedules aligned with hers, leaving her isolated when it came to dealing with those who pushed her around.

Because of that, Medrauta often came to pick her up after class in an effort to minimize any bullying that she would have to endure. The memories of those exhausting lessons coupled with the joy she felt the moment she saw her knight at the classroom’s exit were still fresh in Viviane’s mind despite the fact that no one other than Isabella had dared pick on her after her rematch with the princess.

“Was it that obvious? I’m sorry,” she smiled wryly. “It wasn’t as if I was being pushed around in class. Rather, I just felt like I was missing something whenever I was apart from you.”

Medrauta blushed. “...Well, I hope you’ve found what you were missing.”

“Of course!” Viviane laughed, tugging on Medrauta’s arm and pulling her closer. “Ever since I met you, those days that had only been filled with woe and worry have long ended! And honestly, even though Sir Damien did a lot of things to me, it’s not as if I resent him for it. Even I could see that he was merely... blinded by love.”

Medrauta stopped in her tracks, forcing Viviane to pause and turn. While Medrauta understood that Damien had already passed away, she certainly didn’t think that death absolved someone of their crimes. After all, it was the right of the living to choose when someone was forgiven.

“You have every right to resent him, Viviane. I don’t mean to slander the dead, but while his acts were driven by his passion toward Isabella, that does not excuse him from what he did. Yes, he met a tragic end unbefitting a knight, but he must still be responsible for the choices that he made when he was alive.”

“...You’re right, Medrauta. I do have every right to resent him, don’t I?” Viviane flashed her knight a brilliant smile. “But doesn’t that also mean I have every right to forgive him?”

“I...” Medrauta’s voice trailed off, stunned by both Viviane’s compassion and beauty. She should have known her lady would be like this after seeing Viviane forgive and even befriend Gwenhwyfar despite what the princess did to both of them, but no matter how many times she witnessed Viviane’s purity of heart, it always made her fall in love all over again.

“I do,” Viviane declared confidently. “Everyone makes mistakes in life, you and I included. Sir Damien’s love for Lady Isabella forced his hand, and despite the cruel things he did, I never once felt that he truly acted out of malice. In fact, he even tried his best to apologize and make up for everything he did once Lady Isabella left... If anything, the one who I should resent is Lady Isabella for tarnishing that knight’s honor.”

“...Yeah, I guess you’re right in a sense.” Medrauta grinned, shaking her head in disbelief. “I still don’t think that makes Sir Damien guiltless. Regardless of whether he apologized or attempted to right his wrongs, he still chose to forsake his honor merely to sate Isabella’s lust for cruelty. But I suppose in the end, Isabella is the root of the problem. Honestly, I don’t think I could ever forgive someone as easily as you do, Viviane. I love that part of you, but sometimes... it worries me.”

“Is that so?” Viviane wondered as the two continued their journey to the noblewomens’ dormitory building. As a knight and an orphan, Medrauta didn’t have many personal belongings to bring for the journey, so they were heading to Viviane’s room first. “Well, if I ever forgive the wrong person, you’ll protect me, won’t you?”

“Of course,” Medrauta replied. “I just hope I won’t need to.”

“You and I both,” Viviane laughed. “On a lighter note, what do you think I should pack? I haven’t traveled much if at all, honestly. The longest trip I’ve experienced was the carriage ride from home to here.”

“Well...” Medrauta rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “I... I can’t say I’m familiar with how noblewomen should pack either. Whenever we were forced to travel for field training exercises as squires, we just brought the necessities. Somehow, I don’t think that’ll be enough for a noble.”

“Hm... Perhaps you’d be right if this was a normal trip, but we’re going on a mission, aren’t we? In that case, there’s no need to consider socializing at all.”

“You will need to negotiate with Lord Bastiche who is the acting duke of the Revelo duchy,”

“...Somehow, I don’t think we’ll be negotiating with words at all.”

Medrauta studied Viviane for a good second or two, surprised at how quickly Viviane had come to a conclusion like that despite being praised for her gentle heart mere moments ago. Ah. There was that letter Dame Eirlys gave to us, wasn’t there? I’m sure Duke Revelo’s knight mentioned something about Bastiche himself being behind this whole plot...

“...You know, I think you might be right.”

“In that case, please show me how to pack like a knight!”

Medrauta grinned.

“It’d be my pleasure.”