REINKED-Somehow I Didn't See This Coming, But I Think My Mind Is A Toxic Cesspit

I can't lie, I'm kind of starting to have fun with writing this script. It's not like the tedium of the process has disappeared or anything. More so, I've just finally come to appreciate the joys of imagining what the final product will end up looking like. I know her art style by now, so imagining my words brought to life with it makes me so giddy. Well...okay, my expectations are decently tempered. I'm not expecting the full breadth of her quality when we only have 2 days. Still, I'm sure it'll look decently nice.

Finally, after probably two hours of writing, I finish the last page. I take a moment and scan over each one for anything that stands out as either impossible or stupid. I catch a few things. Some panel layouts seem counterintuitive to what the page is trying to achieve, one doesn't have enough panels, so I have to split one of the panel contents in half. It doesn't take long, however. Once it's finally done, I breath a sigh of relief.

“Alright, how’s this?” Finally sitting up, I show Sami my script. Her tired eyes turn to look at the stack of papers with interest. She reaches out and takes them, yawning as she begins to scan over the first few lines. Her exhaustion induced indifference slowly grows into genuine interest as she scans over page after page. Eventually, she turns to me, her face filled with excitement.

“Oh yeah, I think we got it.” Confirmation, I had made a worthwhile script alright.

Next up is the storyboarding phase. Keisuke takes the reigns on this one. He shows me the storyboards he had done for Sami on one of their older doujins. The thing is amateurishly drawn, but still better than anything I can do. Regardless, I'm assured that, as long as what I want drawn is clear, it should definitely get replicated, just...better than how I drew it, hehe.

Once everything is all cleared up, I'm given a ruler and am left to my own devices. Now...THIS was the truly tedious part to me. The act of drawing out panels and sketching a crappy piece of art feels so unnatural and wrong to my writerly hands. Still, it is important, and I'll definitely have to get used to it if I wanna keep working with Sami, so...ugh.

“I guess there's no way around it. Let's get to this then." I mumble to myself, drawing out the panels for the first page as Keisuke snores softly on the other side of the table. Poor guy got me started just to fall asleep. Hopefully he ends up well rested. Actually, considering all the work surrounding me, I feel like they probably do usually stay up this late. How impressive. "These two may be quite incredible." I half joke.

“Mngh, shut up.” I feel a hand pat my shoulder aggressively as I continue to do as I’ve been told. Well…I mean, nothing’s wrong with a hot girl telling me what to do, hehe. Once the panels are drawn, I begin the process of translating script to scribble, and cringe with every awful line I create. Yeah, I draw occasionally, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy what comes out of it. I believe I did a webcomic for a little while. Despite the crude art, it seems people still connected to it. I guess maybe even I can succeed with my art, if succeeding is just making others satisfied.

Still, it would be preferable to just be good at art. Nowadays, there are robotic tools to help carry the weight, but the morality of using them is too shaky for me to consider them as anything more than a quick tool to put together an easy book cover. Whatever, being poor at drawing is not something I’m punishing myself over right now. It’s simply a fact that I have a lot of room to improve, and it would be nice if I did improve, but Sami is already amazing, and so working with her is only a win for myself.

God, it’s depressing to even have this conversation. Why can’t people just read each other’s minds and understand what it is we mean? Why does it have to be that we have to assume the worst of someone due to our own reasonings that the other person couldn’t even hope to comprehend?

Well, even then, you're reading this, so you probably couldn't read my mind anyways.

This is all good material, maybe I should write a whole novel on the topic. Or I should just eat some ramen and calm the hell down. I put down my pencil. Somehow, I’ve managed to finish three pages so far. How long has it been? Twenty minutes? Jeez, this really may not take all that long. I stand up, stretching my legs and walking over to the window. It isn’t my own place so I can’t just go around poking about cabinets. I'll suffer the munchies in silence, or whatever they say.

You know, regardless of how today has gone, I still…don’t really know these people. So, why am I here? Why did I say yes to coffee? Why did I say yes to being her writer? Was it just because she was hot, or because of some wriggling feeling that we would work well together? That’s so ignorant, and dumb, but I'm both of those things to varying levels, so I guess that checks out

What the hell am I doing here?

Why am I so happy to be here?

Why was I so happy to say we'd cure each other's loneliness?

I close my eyes.

What’s…wrong with me?

My chest feels...warm.

“Taking a break?” I look to my side in surprise and see Sami standing next to me. I turn back to the window, trying to hide my heart being in my throat.

“Just needed to think is all, heh.”

“That’s fine.” She says, her voice sounding tired.

A moment of silence befalls us, save for the snores of her brother.

“Hey…you really like my novels?” I ask.

“I love them.” She's quick and blunt

“Because they’re demented?”

“Yes...kind of...that's a big part of it." She says, sticking out her tongue. So cute...

“This is my first tie planning a story. It feels so different, but so similar too. Like I'm just going through the motions a little bit differently. It's just as...sad, and gory, and...demented, I guess."

“Does it bother you that your writing feels that way?"

“No. I know why I write that way, so it's nothing to do with not knowing myself.” I bite my tongue. “It bothers me that I can’t think of a single good reason for everything I’ve done up till now. I can’t think of a good reason for everything you’ve done till now.” I look right at her. “It…doesn’t feel real. Am I dreaming, by chance?" 

“Hmm…” She strokes her chin, before blushing. "W-well, I was surprised that you were so willing to team up with me. It didn't feel real that my favorite author was just another student in my school. But it was. You are. So maybe reality can be a little surprising sometimes." She says, brushing her hair from her eyes, allowing me to see the moon reflected in them.

“...s-sometimes…” I whisper back. She seems to chew on her next few words, until she finally gets them in order.

"So, maybe you don't always have to worry about whether things are real or not. Or if you're missing some special piece of reasoning that'll explain everything. I chose you because I like you...your writing. Well, I like you too. It's...hnnngh." She crouches down, holding her head. "I'm sorryyyy." She says.

I can’t answer. I stare at her, crouched down on the floor, and...I chuckle. The prettiest girl in school is currently shy about talking to the random nerd she likes the writing of. That's just...funny...and real. Real enough for me

"Ahh, you're right. The hell am I doing worrying about reasoning. We've got manga to make, right?" I say. She looks up at me and nods fiercely.

“That's right! Let's finish that storyboard and get started on the sketch before school then!" She says, standing up. The fire burning in her eyes is so, so attractive.

"You're adorable when you're determined." I say, not thinking.

"H-huh?" She blushes madly. "W-wait, adorable? Am I adorable to you?" She seems so flustered she could trip over at any second.

"Yes, absolutely." I say, just brimming with confidence. "Now then, lets get to work."

"W-wait, you can't just go back to work after saying that! What do you mean adorable, is it my hair?! My face?!? YUTAAAAA!"

…

October 5th, 2023

I stare down at the final storyboarded page. Done. I've done it. I take one last breath before setting down my pencil and stacking the pages up in order. Holding them all in my hands, I know it's time to share them with Sami...who barely stayed awake for a few minutes after our talk, by the way.

“Get up. I’m done.” I shake Sami’s shoulder, my dry eyes staring down at the sleeping girl with envy. How dare she abandon me after such a lovely conversation?

“Ngh, alright…” She complains, sitting up and smacking her dry lips. I hand her the storyboards, and she begins to look over them. In turn, I lay down on the carpet and feel my entire body go slack. Oh yeah, this feels nice. I could definitely take a small nap like this. I mean, I worked pretty hard, I'd say I deserve one. Surely there's enough time for that. I feel my consciousness starting to slip away when I feel her kick off the couch and sit down at the table with a powerful burst of energy. “Alright, I’m hyped!” She’s already sketching her own first draft. Amazing ability to get hyped early in the morning, I'll give her that. I rub my eyes and sit up, checking the time. 7:45. School starts at 9. Yeah, okay, I definitely should be on my way then.

“I gotta go home and get ready for school. I’ll see you there?” I ask with a croaky voice, standing up.

“Yeah yeah, see you then!” She speaks with little attention to me as I drag myself to the front door, grabbing my stuff and walking out it, beginning my journey home with my trusty friend, maps.

Once I'm outside the apartment complex, I feel as though a piece of me hurts a little.

"...we'll be back." I assure myself, and just like that, the pain is gone.