Considerations

I should have come to terms with my situation by now but I just can't accept that there're other people interested in Jack and he is free to meet with them anytime he wants to. No, I don't want to accept it. Although, deep inside I know I have to let go. He is not in the position to be able to accept me openly and don't think he would either. And I cannot let him sacrifice his future for me when I know damn well I'm not prepared to do the same. I already know that when the time comes I'll leave him and return to my time. I'm just biding my time now, prolonging my stay here as long as I can.

I shouldn't be upset that his potential fiancée called me out of the blue to organize a surprise date for the two of them. Well, she didn't exactly call it like that but it doesn't change anything. It's still a date and I still have to make sure that everything will be as she wants it to be. But it still hurts, to prepare a date for you with someone else. But that's just my luck.

But of course, I didn't tell any of this to Jack when I told him why she called. He was surprised but did not object. They're childhood friends after all, and their parents are friends too, so it would be weird to reject her invitation to watch a movie together.

"Did Mimi tell you what movie she wants to watch?" That was all Jack asked me.

"She lets you choose the movie," I told him which immediately made me think how generous of her. Or maybe she just wants to get on his good side. And I cannot blame her for that.

At last, Jack agreed to think about it and let me know in advance what he chose, so I can set up the movie on time. He didn't seem to care much about it but didn't seem to not care either. Even though I have to admit, Ms. Chen really planned it well. An open-air movie night in the garden is indeed quite romantic. With some drinks and snacks, perhaps a pizza to boot, it can turn into a pleasant night. More than pleasant, wonderful.

I decided to make them sit on the swing bed because it will be more comfortable than sitting on a chair. There will be some spotlights turned on as well, so they can eat comfortably in the dark while watching the movie.

I have never thought I ever get to a point in my life where I have to set up a date for someone I want to date myself.

Wait a minute... What am I even whining about? I've already decided to go back home and leave him behind. I have no right to have a say in this matter. Never did.

                                                                       ******

I felt like the day went by slower than usual despite being busy all day. I was once even stopped by Mr. Liu, who gave me some documents to hand over to Jack. I wondered if I should tell him about the movie night but I figured he will notice it either way, so it's best if he knows about it in advance. He seemed surprised but liked the idea.

"Good job," he told me before turning around to leave as if it was me who set them up and not the girl, who proposed the idea in the first place.

I looked at his back as he went back to his office and thought that he can be the most powerful person within this company but there are things even he cannot control. But he obviously thinks he can. I wish I knew from where does he have so much confidence.

"Mr. Scott," I heard a woman's voice calling me, who turned out to be the secretary of Jack when I looked up. "Mr. Liu would like to speak with you."

"Tell him, I will go right away," I told her and saved the file first which I was working on at the moment.

A few minutes after the secretary left, I went to Jack's office to find out what he wants this time. He was probably looking straight at the door waiting for me to arrive because I looked straight into his eyes when I opened it.

"Do you know why I called you?" he asked seriously.

"No idea. But I'm sure you will tell me," I said, trying to sound casual. I walked over to this desk but stopped a few feet away from it.

"I... I hope you don't get it wrong," he told me, clearly not finding the words to describe what he wants to say. He leaned over as if it would make his thoughts come across me easier. "About tonight. Mimi is a friend, and nothing else. It would have been weird to reject her idea. She is a nice girl and I don't wish to hurt her."

"Are you sure you are not hurting her already?" I said, suddenly realizing that the girl I envy, no, who I'm jealous of is also a human being with a heart. She also does have feelings after all.

"I hope not," he said but seemed unsure now. He stood up slowly and walked around the table to be able to stand right before me. "I never led her on, so she has no reason to think I like her. I mean, as more than a friend," he added.

"Even if you didn't, it doesn't matter a damn thing and you know it. She can still like you even if she knows you don't return her feelings. And it still hurts. Besides, your parents want to get you two together whether you like it or not."

"I know. I'm not blind. But I still don't want you to get the wrong idea," he said shyly.

"Why? Does it matter even if I do? We can never become an item officially. Not if you want to inherit this all," I said and spread my arms around in an attempt to capture everything around us in a hug. He looked me straight in the eye and didn't say anything. There was no need to. Why would he deliberately choose to start from the bottom after getting his diploma, if he can start right at the top? No one would be mad enough to make that sacrifice. "Don't worry, I'll make it easier for you," I said sternly. "I've never wanted to stay here in the first place, so you don't have to choose," I told him in a formal tone and turned to leave.

"You told me so many times. How could I have forgotten?" And I heard him taking a few steps forward. "Then I ask you again. If you really want to leave so much, why didn't you leave already? And why did you kiss me in the first place?" He said in a lowered voice with a hint of anger in it which made me stop in my tracks. I thought for a moment before turning my head slightly to answer him.

"I'm too old to become a married man's secret lover. But I won't allow you to abandon your family and give up your inheritance for me. I wouldn't be able to live with the thought of you having to make such a sacrifice," I slowly turned back again and looked into his eyes. "But in turn, you cannot expect me to sacrifice myself and my real life just so you could have some fun on the side," I told him matter-of-factly and left him standing there in the middle of his office.

I felt I was too cruel to him but this had to be said at last. At least he cannot blame me for playing with him.

As for Ms. Chen... She deserves someone who loves her but I'm not in a position to tell her that.