A Regal Homeroom

I don’t know about your school, but our school always had Monday mornings as homeroom first. Is that unusual? Whatever. Actually, come to think about it - we only had homeroom twice last week! Then again, it was to force us to re-accustom to school… since it was our first week of the year.

It didn’t really feel like a first week, despite me shutting in the house. Come to think about it, I’ve had more social interactions last week than in the preceding months. My social skills were that good. Or are they?

So has anything changed? Nope. Minetaka-sensei greeted us and got back on his laptop. Maybe he’s playing Football Manager as a source of inspiration for his soccer team. I nodded at Minoru-san. He acknowledged it, but did nothing and went back to talking with his friends. Most popular guy.

I sat next to Saeka ever since the seat change last week. It’s weird to get used to. Our class was still the same as last year. May we be lucky next year and be one of only two classes to not change. No matter what I say, I do enjoy this class. It’s like I’m a tsundere.

Yeah. I did just say that.

I’m all out of interesting thoughts I’m afraid. No random discussions about philosophical topics or anything. It’s like I’m reborn. Totally I’m not lying to myself, it’s more than apparent that I’m telling the truth to myself!

Have you ever thought about what it is to be human? Seriously. I highly doubt you haven’t unless you are the pure manifestation of ‘ignorance is bliss’. Do the social bonds you form make you or break you? Some people think there’s nothing inherently special about humans. We’re great apes that can communicate and store information, cool!

But have you really thought about it? We’re a part of the universe, and we are aware a universe exists. So does that make the universe self-aware of itself? If the universe is self-aware, then you can’t say to be human is to be conscious. So what is it? Social bonds? Could it be curiosity? What is the human condition? As I thought about it, the classroom ballooned in size. Words were appearing randomly.

Tea.

Red.

Humans were born to die? That doesn’t seem satisfactory to me. Not a good explanation. Also, it’s stupid. If I spotted Nietzsche on the train tracks, I’d have a nice conversation with him. So I could…

I had to kill my thoughts quickly.

Suddenly, the classroom and my surroundings succumbed. It was all meshed. Everyone was blurred, you could say. I had engaged in stupid overthinking again. Nothing was real, again. It’s a quick fix, just give it some time.

Car.

As I seemed to still stay in this dreamlike world, I spoke to myself. I was in front of me. We chatted away.

“Move on.”

What? Move on? From what? The truck thing?

“Move on.”

I guess I’m referring to my cousins. Yeah, I’ll move on. Pronouns. I’m using the first-person one a lot, aren’t I? There I go! Look, I said it again!

The stroke order for ‘I’ kept appearing, and appearing. It was popping out.

Do you know what it’s like? It’s like drowning but being entirely aware that water is killing you.

Stream.

I have to get out of here. This might end up being my worst episode. What is my anchor to reality?

Yourself.

What?

“Honzo! Are you good!”

Reality painted itself back again. This time it was in the form of a concerned Saeka.

“Oh… oh yeah! Sorry Saeka, I just daydreamed for a bit! All is well.”

I’ll just keep lying to myself until it becomes the truth.

Wait, stop all of that whining nonsense, is Saeka my anchor to reality? Really? That’s terrible! Come to think about it, that was only two minutes. In fact, I was on my phone mid-typing ‘Food staples in-‘

I gave it some time to ponder. Then I realised staples are different everywhere! In Mexico, it’s corn. And even in the places where the staple food is the same, the type is different. Japan is Japonica, and Thailand is Jasmine! Is that the same thing? I’m not a rice scientist, if you couldn’t tell.

Those episodes come so randomly. I think I should soon return back to the doctor because that was terrifying. I hope Saeka didn’t notice it, but I can feel my chest sticking to my uniform, it’s disgusting.

“Hey, Honzo. You can count on all of us. If you need anything, just ask.” Saeka reassured me.

“Thanks, Saeka.”

I put my hands in front of what I saw and took them out. It was the same. The worst seems to be over.

At least we had some PE from 11:00 to 13:00. That’s going to ease my mind off.

“Hanzoo!”.

That startled me, Sayako-chan has joined her long lost twin, Saeka. What was the name she gave to them? I forgot. Instead of that unmemorable name, I’m going to call them the Sour Candy Sisters. Yep. Good name, no?

“Hi, Saya-chan.”

“How was the walk home with Kazumi-senpai?”

Sayako was seemingly interested.

“Scary,” I told her.

Sayako apologised. “Sorry, I couldn’t look over you.”

“No problem, as long as you're here now. I had to deal with Kazumi-senpai teasing me and shipping me with half of the girls in our school.” I felt as if it wasn’t a particularly big deal, but I guess it was to her?

We all chatted for a bit. Then, the thick glasses boy joined. Tatsuya. It’s been a while. As to be expected, all of us spoke about a lot of things. Ever since he and Saeka were… official? Or are they in the talking stage? I’m not sure, but either way, it’s been a while since we spoke. Since yesterday, by the way. I need me some Tatsuya to get through the day.

“Skinny boy.” The skinny boy with glasses spoke.

I gave Tatsuya an ‘Are you stupid?’ face as my response. He does not deserve to hear my words. Ok, I said some.

“I weigh more than you!” I fully intended to rebuke him with this statement.

“Ok? Comparison means nothing? You’re still skinny, if we’re being honest?”

Eh, I guess he’s right. I weighed myself before school and I had dropped to 67 kg. Likely because my appetite has been down for a bit.

What were we even doing in this homeroom?

“Whatever, short boy.”

As a consequence of my words, Tatsuya kept hitting me. He was like a maiden, hitting the MC of a comedy manga. It was right to left fist consecutively. It was pretty heart-fluttering. Sadly, I am not into him. But I am starting to have some regrets. Saeka may have some good taste in men, perhaps? Nah. Now I don’t regret it. Saeka has terrible taste in men.

Saeka looked at us.

“You both sure act outside… the boundaries.”

What did Saeka even mean by that? Then, Sayako put her hand on her chin, like she was the thinker. It appears she was pondering. Wait? She was nodding the whole time?

I had to ask Saeka what she meant.

“What do you mean, we act outside the boundaries?”

Tatsuya didn’t even deny anything?

“You’re like… too close with each other… I think it reminds me of a Yaoi manga.”

When will Japanese society stop being homophobic! If I was the arbiter of the law, I’d have easily made same-sex marriage legal. Hell, I would’ve forced some people to do that. Wait. No. I shouldn’t do that.

In a courteous tone, I spoke to be as indirect but firm as possible.

“Yeah. Because we can’t be close friends with each other, clearly. Me and Tatsuya.”

Sayako decided to respond in all sincerity.

“No, it’s because you both are touchy with each other.”

What type of conversation is this? How did we get here? I had to change it.

“I don’t actually like Tatsuya’s hairstyle. It’s like a mushroom. Sadly, we are incompatible because of that. I am deeply sorry to you, Tatsuya.” Here’s my chance!

“I think we share the same opinion, we are mutual, my dearest Honzo. I, too, am deeply sorry about this. You are incompatible with me as you have a voice that doesn’t fit your face and person. It’s too high-pitched for someone of your calibre, once again Honzo-sama I am deeply sorry.”

That hurt. But I’m glad we deaded this conversation. The two Sour Candy Sisters gave a standing ovation.

Sayako next said, “That is exactly what Saeka was talking about.”

Both of us just stared at her and didn’t say anything to make her awkward. It appears they did the same too. So we were stuck in no man’s land. Trench warfare. No one won.

Saeka put her hands up like one of us was the teacher. Unfortunately, Minetaka-sensei responded to that.

“Oh nothing, I was stretching my arm sensei!” She said out loud.

“I see then, no problem.” What a kind sensei. Good teacher.

Saeka went to us with a screwface. It was quite contorted.

“Before I was interrupted by the teacher, I was going to let you guys know, I quite like Tatsuya’s hairstyle. It’s perfect for him. Especially with his glasses.”

Stop. Flirting.

“Thanks, Sae, I like everything about you. But I especially like it when you put your hair in a ponytail.”

Me and Sayako looked at each other and, well, I think we both could tell that this is a bit too much. Sayako returned to her seat at the back, next to Mai and Shibuya. A good defence for embarrassment. As for me, I silently prayed to the guardian saint of this classroom to send Tatsuya back to his seat. I think Yusuke is lonely.

As one would think, my prayers weren’t answered.

Homeroom’s time was limited. We also had to change into our outfits. Luckily for us, we had a designated changing room. However, there was a catch. It could only fit 40 people. 20 for men, 20 for women. If you were unlucky? You had to wait for someone to finish or do it in the homeroom. What great school administration! Our gymnasium was on the ground floor of Block D. Now that I’ve thought about it, there were multiple. The sports hall, the auditorium, and the indoor basketball court composed most of the ground floor for the Big Glass. Only 5 classrooms were nestled in between the sports rooms.

Come to think of it, there were other sports facilities, too. Our school had wasted 400 million yen on two warmed soccer pitches and a general track-and-field course. I suppose this is what happens when you are almost the only high school in this area.

You could say our school was sports-mad. Sadly for baseball fans, you still played on the same grass fields where people eat food and play around.

Anyhow, we all waited for Minetaka-sensei to finish. He was a PE assistant, due to his knowledge of sports science, in addition to his biology degree. That might have been his paper? Once he left, the dam would break.

In all honesty, I still haven’t been used to it since this year started. Such a high-tech, expensive, and almost regal office building surrounded by a decaying brutalist maze. The old blocks are now what I’ve heard people call it now. It is so insane. Genuinely envision it. It’s like a slum next to a mansion. The school authorities say they’re going to open it up entirely by the middle of the school year, likely December time. It was art. Some people dislike modern or contemporary architecture, and I say different strokes for different folks.

Let me make myself clear. I think it’s a gorgeous building. The way the glass was tinted, made it similar to a mirror. But yet, the frame holding itself was white. One might say it's strange, and I do concede on that point. A deep blue motif screamed out an ocean-inspired view, and the roof was pyramidal. But it gave the impression that I was in the middle of the Minami Alps. If you don’t know where it is, just picture the Swiss Alps instead.

I could say so much but I had limited time. Social Darwinism was in action. I didn’t care to look at anyone else. Into the changing rooms, I went. No observations, just straight goal-oriented actions as my old therapist would say.

I was in. I beat the odds. Class A, B, and C totalled maybe 140~ students. I performed rudimentary maths. Let’s say there was a 50/50 gender proportion… ah you know what? I don’t think anyone cares. The odds were rounded to 28.57% success. So actually, not really that bad. This is the least I’ve overestimated something. Whatever! Time to change.