Bittersweet Memory : What I Want To Say To You

I met Kojima at the rooftop. When I arrived there, he was standing by the rail while gazing at the sunset.

“Youta.”

“What is it, Kojima?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“What is difference between you and me? Did I make mistake when confessing to Raina earlier?’’

“There is not much difference between you and me. You look handsome than me, Kojima! Kojima, I know will not give up because of this.”

“Kojima that I know? Do you really know everything about me? Then, should not you help me to get closer to Raina instead decided for Minami to confess to me?”

“You know about that?”

“Of course! You know I like Raina, but you busy to make me, and Minami become a pair.”

“But should not you give a chance to Minami? She really like you!”

“Then you and Raina will become a couple. I don’t know that you are this kind of person. You backstabbed me, Youta.”

“Wait, Kojima! I don’t know that Raina like me.”

“So, Minami and Raina, which one do you like, Youta?”

“Why are you asking me that? How can I answer that now?”

“You always become indecisive since we were in grade school. You know, this week has become chaotic for me. My dad is a policeman. But his son is involved in illegal drug trafficking. The people around my family started to change their behavior toward us. My neighbor has not even greeted me since then. In school, I was treated like I was the criminal in the eye of other students. Some teachers started to avoid me. Especially, when I want to ask about topic that will be in exam, they did not taught me properly and ask me to study by myself.”

“I don’t know about that…”

“Of course, you don’t know. I thought if Raina accepts my confession, I can forget all problems and devote my love to her. I guess luck is not on my side.”

“What can I do to help you Kojima? I will do everything to help you!”

“Nothing. After what you are trying do to me.”

He then goes to the other side of the rail. He is on the edge of the rooftop now.

“Kojima, what are you doing there? There are so dangerous!”

“I thought we were best friends, Youta. I never thought that you would done this to me.”

“Wait, Kojima! All of this are misunderstanding!”

“I think this is the end of our friendship. Thank you for being become my friend. Goodbye. ”

Before I could react, he leaped from the rooftop. I can’t do anything to stop him. My friend jumped from the rooftop in front of me. What is this feeling? I feel like there are various emotions in my heart. I become speechless. I can’t move my leg. I want to scream. My tears can’t stop falling. I spent my time on the rooftop alone until one of the teachers found me on the floor sitting while looking at the night sky. I am very shocked after what just happened. Then, the teacher send me back to my home. I don’t want to eat anything. I just go to sleep after I arrive at home. During graduation, Raina, Minami, and I did not interact with each other. Day by day, and slowly, bit by bit, my mental health began to recover. Dad always takes notes about my mental health every day. Mom always cooks delicious food for me. She said she hopes that I can start becoming myself again after eating her cooking. Meanwhile, Azusa did not stop trying to annoy me. I know that she has good intentions in doing that.

“So, that’s all from me, thank you. Why are you crying Saito senpai?”

“I…. don’t know…that….happen…to you. But…now….you can tell me anything when you feel sad…”

“Thank you for that, senpai. I feel more better now.”

After that, we became quiet again. Saito senpai start drink her hot chocolate again. She then asks me.

“Arima-kun, I like you.”

What she said just now was causing me to almost choke on my own hot chocolate.

“Wh-what are you saying now, senpai?!”

“I just said I like you! I feel so embarrassed after saying it again.”

“Did you say that just to ease my heart. If true, I don’t think I can accept the feeling because of sympathy.”

“No! What are you talking about, Arima-kun?! I like you just because it’s you!”

I can’t believe what I heard just now. I even though she uses cliché line from drama. I have said before that Saito senpai is my ideal type. Is that mean we will become couple?

“But I think this is the wrong time for me to confess right? Especially after what happened today. I’m sorry. You can just forget what I said just now.”

“I like you too, senpai!” I don’t want to miss this chance. I want to tell you my true feelings.

“Don’t you need time to think about this. Maybe after your mind become clearer.”

“My mind has become clear now. And this is the truth. The truth of my heart about my feeling toward you, senpai!”

“H-how should I r-respond t-to t-that?”

“I-I don’t k-know too.”

“W-what d-do y-you like about me, A-arima-kun?”

“I like how you always take care of me since our first meeting, and you take care of other people with kindness too. I also like how you always think about other first. You are also look so p-pretty to me.”

“H-how c-can you say t-that e-embarrassing thing with straight f-face?”

“Then, senpai why you like me other than you like me because it’s me?”

“I like you because you always give your best when you help other people. Other than that, is when you always give fair treatment to other people. You don’t act indifferently with certain people. You are honest person and that me attracted to you.”

I feel really embarrassed now! I don’t know that she observes me so well. What should I respond now? Kiss her? Or hug her? What am I thinking now? Saito senpai suddenly move closer to me. I should become a man. I am attempting to kiss senpai on her lip. However, she wrapped her arms around me in a hug before I could kiss her.

“Arima-kun, you should not do things like you had done at the hospital’s rooftop again after this. Remember that there are people who will grieving you so much if that happen.”

She really knows how to give comfort to people. The words she said made me realize that I should think more about other people’s feelings. I also realize that I have fall in love more with her.

A few days later.

Today is the day of the funeral ceremony for late Hiroshi and Hina. Friends from school, family members, and even Noda senpai and members of the soccer club came to offer their condolences and support. Saito senpai, Minami, and Fujimiya senpai had taken up the responsibility of assisting with the guestbook in the waiting area. Meanwhile, Takeda senpai and I had been entrusted with the responsibility of assisting in the transportation of the caskets to the hearse. I try to give out my best to pay my final respect for late Hina and Hiroshi.

The ceremony is moving smoothly without any problem. At the end of the day, after attendees bow and bid farewell to the deceased one last time, the caskets were placed in the hearse and will be bring to the cremation chamber. After the funeral, all attendees gather for a meal. I took this chance to meet with Hiroshi’s parents. I have something to tell them.

“Excuse me Hirota-san, can I talk to you privately now?”

“Why? is there something you need to tell me?”

“Yes. And I need your wife to come too.”

“Okay. I will call my wife first.”

I brought them to the place where nobody was there.

“Arima-san, first, I would like to thank you for what you and your friend done today. Although all my family members give their help for this funeral, it seems we lack people to help, and your help is really appreciated. “

“This is normal, Hirota-san. Late Hiroshi is one of my best friends. I should give my help too. Late Hina, although I met her in short time, it’s precious moment for me. By the way, the reason I want to talk to both of you privately is I have something to give.”

“What is it?”

“This is letter I believe written by Hina. This letter was found in my friend’s car yesterday when he washes his car.”

“C-can I read this letter?” asked Hirota-san’s wife.

“Yes.” After that I give them space to read the letter.

While reading the letter, Hirota-san can stop brush his eyes. Hirota-san’s wife did not stop crying as I can see tears did not stop flowing from her eyes. She read the letter with her trembling voice. Fortunately, Takeda senpai found this before it was late. After reading the letter, Hirota-san’s wife walked toward me.

“Arima-san….thank you…very…much… This letter is mean world for us.”

“You are welcome. I also have a message from late Hiroshi for both you.”

Hirota-san asking me with his teary eyes, “What is it?”

As I want to say it, my sight starts to become blur. Tears are flowing from my eyes.

“He…said…he…want….both…you….to…always…take…care...of…your health.”

Hirota-san and his wife suddenly slumped upon heard what I said. Hirota-san try to calm his wife as she starts calling their children’s name. She still cannot believe that her son and her daughter are no longer with them. She is calling out their name with her quivering voice. Hina, Hiroshi! She doesn’t stop calling out their name. Hirota-san give her wife a hug to comfort her. Hina and Hiroshi, I hope that both of you will always stay with your mom and dad and look for them from above. I hope we can meet again in the next life.