"pov: you're in love"

I’m having very serious second thoughts. Before coming to Okinawa I was dedicated to making ShiraHiira work, but after the big moments that happened these past 2 days…

The dark hallway-wall moment (where I uh… made a mistake…)

When she “made up” for my mistake at sunset yesterday

…

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no, I think to myself! I know how Aki likes Tsukasa (at least, I’m pretty sure…), and I shouldn’t get in the way of that. Well, how would I get in the way if I don’t like Aki?? At least, I don’t think I like her…

Currently, I’m laying sprawled over the cold hard ground, because the futon was too warm and I felt like I was being boiled alive under those futon sheets.

Last night, I slept no better than I did the previous night. Today was the last day of the field trip and we’re heading home tomorrow in the early morning.

As the lamps in the bedroom weren’t working, the only light source was the sun shining through the windows.

I squint at the blinding rays and contemplate Aki. Does she really like Tsukasa?? Do I like her?? What do I–

“Hey Aoi-kun, you’re the last one here y’ know.” Tsukasa stands above me, dressed and ready to leave for the day while I’m still thinking about things on the floor in my wrinkled pajamas.

“Oh, really?” I shake my head to get out of the clouds, and stand up sluggishly. I heave my head to look at the clock on the wall, and I immediately snap out of my sleepy behavior. It’s almost time for breakfast to be served…

I rush around, now completely awake and trying to get my stuff ready. I slip on the hoodie lying on top of my luggage and the sweats next to it, and I brush my hair with my fingers as I speed-walk with Tsukasa out to the blue tables.

We find our way to the table where Aki and Chisako are. Today’s breakfast seems to be an Okinawan rice dish. As the teachers pass it out to the other tables, Tsukasa groans. “The food is probably as bad as it was yesterday.”

But once Mr. Inoue arrives at our table with the rice dishes, it’s actually really good. I guess Okinawa’s more of a rice dish place than an onigiri place.

On the round table we’re at, Tsukasa’s on my left side and Aki on my right. Aki’s gotten back to her usual self; no more “I’m going to kill Kachimi-san” and “Kachimi-san, save me from this creep”.

Anyways, I start downing the delicious seasoned rice, and Aki starts with taking in the aroma of the garlic and onions.

After breakfast, we’re all stuffed and we all want to go back into the room for a big fat nap. But obviously, we can’t, and we’re dragged out to this big Okinawan museum surrounded by Okinawan history.

It’s a lot more fun than all of us expected. We did a lot of Okinawan activities, like listening to Okinawan sanshin, wearing Okinawan kimonos, learning more Okinawan dialect, and special Okinawan festivals. Aki and Chisako challenged each other to see who could remember more Okinawan phrases (You could call them frenemies now), while Tsukasa pretended to be someone from ancient royalty all dressed up in their Bingata-pattern kimono. Seeing Aki jump around all the exhibits with the most passionate gaze ever made her look so adora–

Huh? That last sentence? That was nothing. I didn't say anything.

We spent the morning there and we stopped for some lunch at about noon, and since it’s our last day, the teachers and chaperones let us have some free time until 4 pm, when they drop us off at the beach.

“Beach!!” Tsukasa and Aki exclaim as they run to the shore in their swimwear and splash into the water while me and Chisako (we decided not to go out in the ocean, so we didn’t change into our swimsuits) look around the sand for a place to set our towels and bags on the sandy floor. Aki sprinted into the water so quickly I wasn’t even able to see her.

The beach is pretty empty except for our class, so it’s really chill and exciting. While Tsukasa and Aki waterboard each other in the ocean, Chisako and I stay at our towel– Chisako reads her book and I try squinting my eyes to see Tsukasa and Aki from a distance, and I end up not being able to find them, so I just lay face-down on the towel and stare at the sea. It’s pretty warm, but I don’t exactly take off my hoodie, so I tie my hair up.

As I gaze out to the glimmering but blinding water, I think to myself about the Aki-Tsukasa thoughts I’ve been having. I ransack my mind, trying to come to the conclusion of what I should be doing. Continue with what I’m doing to help ShiraHiira? Or do I face my own feelings…?

I realize though, I’m thinking too hard; the 2 hours of sleep I got last night, and on top of all the energy I spent at the museum, I end up falling asleep, laying on the towel.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

I wake up after some time, and rub my eyes drowsily. I check my phone– 2 hours have passed since I fell asleep, and it’s almost 7. Looking around, I notice the sun is starting to go down and most students have left this specific area of the beach, leaving only our group here. I sit up and turn my head to Chisako who was sitting next to me, except it’s not Chisako anymore. It’s Aki, and she’s sitting with her back leaning against her bag, while using her phone, bobbing her head to the music in her headphones.

She’s got her headphones on again. How funny, the one chance I get to see Aki without her headphones here at the beach, I end up sleeping through it.

Before saying anything to her, I look her up and down as she peacefully sits there. Her petite dainty body, still a bit wet, glistens under the orange sun shining past the horizon and the swirling pink clouds decorating the ombre sky. She’s still in her 2-piece swim attire the color of burnt crimson, the tips of her hair still moist and shiny. She looks like she’s in her own heavenly world.

“Where’s Tsukasa and Chisako-chan?” I glance around the empty beach as I scooch over and sit crossing my legs next to her to see what kind of music she’s looking at on her phone.

Without looking up from her phone, she answers, “They left to get us some snacks. But they’ve been gone for quite a while. I wonder what’s holding them up.”

“Mm, I see.” The vibe of the beach, with just us two, under the beautiful sunset, feels so serene and completely distracts me from all my Me-Aki-Tsukasa thoughts. I don’t even realize the little distance between me and Aki as we sit next to each other.

We sit in silence, except when I occasionally break it with a calm “Oh, I like that song.” or “I’ve never heard that one.”

Noticing the time after a few minutes, I expect the teachers to come back anytime soon to gather all the students again so we can go back to the inn for dinner. “Shirasawa-san, I’ve never seen you without your headphones, y’ know. I sorta thought I would be able to on this trip, but we’re leaving tomorrow already.” I chuckle lightly.

“Oh, that’s right, I always have it on when I’m around you, huh?” Aki smiles delicately, then hands me the phone and sighs. “Here, choose a song for me.”

I perk up and start scrolling through the plenty of music albums she has downloaded. “Ooh, I know a bunch of good songs!”

But Aki takes the phone away from me again. “No, don't look through those. Choose a song from my playlist.” She presses a few buttons, then hands me the phone once again. Her screen displays a playlist made by ashira_ which I figure to be her username. The playlist itself is titled, “pov: you're in love”, and all the songs in the playlist are love songs.

“I don’t know many love songs, I don’t know which one to pick…” I scroll through the long love playlist cluelessly until I come to the end. Closing the playlist is the one love song I actually know.

“Oh, this song!” I tap the screen to play the familiar Korean song and I hand her back her phone. “Do you remember this song? When we saw each other for the first time at Boba Fans, you told me you were listening to this one.”

Aki nods reminiscently and the corners of her lips curve up. “Love Countdown by Nayeon.”

Aki randomly stands up slowly and stands in front of me, the sunset radiating behind her, only making her look even more stunning. I follow her with my eyes. She uses a gentle touch to remove the headphones from her own head, and she crouches down to me to put the headphones on me.

The song was playing even before she put the headphones on me, so I was listening to the song starting from the end of the 2nd verse.

As I stare at Aki above me curiously– I have no idea what she’s doing– the pre-chorus arrives. Nayeon’s voice rings in my ears.

♪ 더는 묻지 마 (Don’t ask me anymore)

♪ 그 끝은 나야 (Your end is me)

I watch her look away for a bit, blushing, and she shakes her head as if to make herself more confident. She steps closer towards me and then drops down into an Asian squat hugging her legs, so that we’re at the same eye-level.

Her hair freely blows in the light breeze. She looks majestic without her headphones.

♪ 망설이지 마 (Don’t hesitate)

♪ 네게 다가갈게, babe (I’ll get close to you, babe)

Our closeness when she squats down shocks me, and I gulp nervously as my cheeks tint red, my chest grows and deflates along with my heavy breaths. I grip the towel under me tight, not knowing what could happen next.

The chorus of the song plays in the headphones I’m wearing.

♪ Tell me,

Aki’s head tilts slightly to the side as she beams, and she maintains the most affectionate gaze into my wide eyes.

Aki’s lips part, like she’s going to say something, and she lip-syncs the next few lyrics:

♪ Do you want to be my lover? Are you ready to be mine?