I'm Done (Part 2)

“Hey Celicia, has that Otherworlder been doing anything weird to you?” Sofi said whilst pointing her spoon towards me.

“Come on Sofi… Is he really that bad to you?” I added. 

“Well… Not really, but he could just be pretending to be nice, right?” Sofi said as she dropped her spoon.

“I can assure you that Yuuma of all people is the last person you’d think of when it comes to pretending.”

I mean, is there really someone that can pretend to be clueless of their own worth as a person? Even if he is pretending, you wouldn’t show your skills to the people around you, right?

“Hmm…” Sofi takes a mouthful of her salad, “Hey Celice, do you like him?”

“…”

“…Celice?”

“…I just feel sad for him…” I clasp my hands together, fiddling my thumbs around.

“Sad?”

“Yeah…”

I want to do something for him. I want him to realize his own self-worth, I want him to be more confident in himself. I want him to take pride in his abilities. He says that I have a lot of good things going for me, but in reality, my parents could easily ask someone to deliver these potteries to someone. The only reason why they chose me is because I’m their daughter and they don’t have to pay me for a lot.

I thought he was like me, but I was completely wrong.

He is running faster than me, but he slows himself down by doubting his abilities.

“…Celice?” Sofi looks at me with her head tilted.

“Hm?”

“Is there something bothering you?” Sofi rested her arms on the desk and leaned forward.

“No… It’s nothing…” I grabbed the basket that was filled with an assortment of fruits, “I’m sorry, but I need to go now. Thanks for the fruit!”

“Avoiding me again…”

“Sorry, what did you say?” I ask.

“No—no, it’s nothing. See you later” Sofi raised her hand.

“Yeah! See you later!”

As we finish saying our goodbyes, I head out of the dining hall.

---

“I’m home—”

“FINALLY!”

“…!”

The sound came from the workshop. I wonder what Yuuma is doing.

I slowly head towards the workshop, slowing down my steps to hopefully catch him by surprise. Luckily the door is already half-opened, so I can easily peek into the workshop.

As I peak in, Yuuma has both of his hands raised high, his back soaked in sweat with a bowl standing atop the machine.

“…”

Even though it was a Saturday, even though my dad told him to rest, he still went and practiced… Even though the shape isn’t that good, it’s evident that he was able to shape one out despite the fact that he struggled a lot yesterday.

“It’s not good enough though…” Yuuma muttered.

He grabs the bowl to put it to the side,

“Ow!”

“…!”

I extended my hand towards the door handle, but I stopped midway through, slowly dropping it.

Yuuma holds his right wrist, his back jolted from the pain. However, he wiped his forehead with his left arm, moved the bowl next to his chair, turned the machine on again, and put the clay on top of it.

“…”

What was I even thinking?

Is there even anything I could do for him?

‘Why do you always think so negatively about yourself when you have a lot of good things going for you?!’

What kind of rights did I even have to criticize him? If anything, he doesn’t need it because he already knows and he’s working towards improving that side of him whether he realizes it or not.

‘You’re already doing well on your own, so don’t think negatively about yourself.’

Ahh… I see…

Now I get the difference between the two of us…

We have the same perception of ourselves, but he’s actively working to make up for his shortcomings, while I accepted it as it is.

“…I’m done.”

I’m done getting left behind. I’m done feeling worthless. If it means I can walk with Yuuma on equal ground, I’ll do everything I can to catch up to him, to make my worthless self be worthy of my own recognition.