A Real Devil

Ivy kept her eyes shut as tightly as she could. The girl had already tried to look, but the blur of the world around her and the pressure of Zero’s shoulder in her stomach made her feel sick, and she was barely maintaining the contents of her stomach. She tried to close them tighter, hoping that when she opened them, she’d be back in the tent with the rain still falling. This would all be a dream, and when she looked up, soft crimson would greet her.

She braved a peek.

It wasn’t a dream.

Her eyelids snapped together once more in an attempt to keep the queasiness at bay.

What was going on? Everything had transpired so quickly that there wasn’t any time to fully comprehend just what had happened and who exactly was taking her?

It was Zero.

But it wasn’t.

This Zero was not the Zero she knew.

He was someone else entirely.

But he was still Zero.

She didn’t know what to think with everything rushing around her, making her thoughts spin like a cyclone that she currently felt like her body was also trapped in.

Without warning, Ivy was on her back, the changing of position brutal and explosive, but the shock of the force was completely absorbed by the arms that cradled her head and body. She could feel the stone and dirt beneath her, cold and gritty against her skin. She could hear his breathing, shallow and heavy, as if he were struggling for oxygen.

The girl kept her eyes tightly closed. It was like the first time she met him, when she was too uncertain to look at him.

But she did.

And she’d do it again.

Taking a deep breath, the girl allowed her eyes to slide open.

It wasn’t Zero.

But it was.

He looked like Zero but there were two, short, onyx horns protruding from his head, pointed claws from his fingers, and sharp fangs from his mouth. His eyes were still crimson, but they were fierce and barbaric, surrounded by complete darkness like twin flames in the night.

Like a real devil.

It was common knowledge throughout the heavens and the land just how horrifying devils were and Ivy wasn’t naive to it. She had read about the mayhem they cause in books, heard stories from people who had been too close and spoke too loud in restaurants and shops, and even walked through the aftermath of a couple of villages that had suffered a devil’s rage years before she’d even been born. They were beings that lived to destroy, and nothing else.

Evil creatures that craved the spilling of blood.

Blood the same color as their eyes.

Eyes that were staring into her own.

Ivy knew she should be afraid.

Just as everyone was.

But she wasn’t.

She could never be afraid of him.

Zero hovered just above her, the intense heat of his body radiating through the soaking cloak and onto Ivy’s cooler skin. The arm under her back slid down and out from behind her, traveling to rest on her hip, his fingers lightly pressing in. The hand under her head gently tipped it to the side, making room for his face to follow the curve, his nose brushing across her collarbone, up her throat, and behind her ear. His lips grazed the soft skin of her neck. “Mine.” A soft growl from those lips as they rested against her and his body followed, curling next to the girl. The wheezing slowed as breathing became clear and steady, rigid muscles going limber.

A devil at peace.

And Ivy sighed.

No matter how he looked, it was still the same boy. Despite the horns and endless darkness of his eyes, his presence was still soothing, his voice soft, his touch tender. He was still quiet and calm and gentle. He was still the same devil that was unlike any other.

He would never hurt her.

He just needed help.

“Zero,” she whispered.

The devil snapped up, peering into violet as a flash dashed through his frantic eyes. Arms and legs pushed away as he crawled backwards from her body all while Ivy sat up after him.

“Zero,” she called to him sweetly, an encouraging smile spreading across her cheeks. Arms opened, welcoming the boy into them. “Come here. It’s okay.”

But it wasn’t.

He looked at her, another flash, and began to smash his face violently against the stone floor.

Over.

And over.

And over.

“Stop!” Ivy screamed, clambering to the devil and grabbing at him in an attempt to stop his self-mutilation. “Stop, Zero!”

Her attempt did little as the devil continued demolishing his skull, shredding the flesh, splattering the blood against the stone floor. She tried fruitlessly, shrieking and begging, pushing and pulling against his shoulders and neck as his blood painted her body and stained her hands. It was no use though, her smaller form no match against the strength of a devil so much larger than herself. She fought against him until she had worn herself out, and all there was left to do was sit back on her heels and watch as he reduced his face into a grotesque heap of meat and splintered bone. Ivy’s head fell back, and she stared up at the roof of the cave that Zero had brought her to, weeping over the pain that she had no power to stop.

“Please,” she repeated.

“Please.”

“Please.”

Each one more useless than the last.

There was no way for the distraught girl to know how much time had passed before Zero finally slowed to a stop. Ivy lowered her head to watch the boy heave on all fours, an unnatural gurgle bubbling from the unrecognizable remains. Careful hands reached out and took his mangled face in their grasp, lifting it towards her. The girl didn’t shy away from the mess or from the subsequent twisting and grinding and cracking as his skull and face put all the pieces back together. She ran her fingers across his once again handsome features and forced an anguished smile through overflowing tears. “Please Zero. Please don’t do that again.”

He pushed towards her, shortening the distance between the two, his body closing in against hers. “You’re mine.” His voice was slow and deeper than normal, but Ivy still recognized the kindness and comfort in it.

Opening her arms to the devil, the girl wrapped them around him and captured him in her embrace, pulling him into her as she nuzzled into his neck. “I am.”

Whatever he needed.

She would give.

A long sigh escaped Zero’s lungs as his eyes closed and his arms circled around Ivy’s waist. He fell back to sitting and pulled the girl into his lap, resting his head against her shoulder as the horns retreated, the bone scraping and scratching with their retreat. When his eyes opened, the blackness had faded back to white, and the crimson was full of grief. “I’m sorry,” he choked. “I’m so sorry.”

Ivy pulled away from him, taking his face in her hands, admiring the return of the face that she had grown so fond of. “There you are.” Her smile so lovely. “Are you okay?”

The boy shook his head, unable to make the words, and began to push away from the girl.

It was the first time that Ivy had felt afraid. His eyes were drowning in worry and remorse, and it terrified her. There was no need for him to say it. She already knew.

He was going to run.

And she didn’t know if he would ever return.

Ivy wasn’t Ren. She could spend all the years searching, but she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to find Zero. Especially if he didn’t want to be found.

“No!” She grasped at him, clawing her way back around him and holding on with everything she had. “You’re not doing this! I won’t let you!”

“Please,” Zero whispered. “I could have hurt you.”

“You can’t go!” she cried. “I promised I wouldn’t leave you alone, and I’m not going to let you make me a liar!”

“Ivy. Please.”

She grabbed the devil’s face harshly and glared into miserable crimson with defiant violet. “We both know I can’t stop you, but if you go then you can’t stop me either. If you choose to leave I will chase after you. I will look for you everywhere. And I’ll go alone. I will go through every forest and desert and mountain range. I don’t care if I freeze or starve or drown. I will never stop searching for you until the day I die.” She pushed away and stood over him, trying her best to be formidable with clenched fists as she blinked back her tears. “If that’s what you want, then go. But I’ll be behind you every step of the way.”

It was the last thing she wanted, but there was no way that she could stop him. The girl could only control herself.

Zero looked down at his hands, his fingers running over the nails; a little dirty, some chipped, but short. He looked back up and took Ivy’s hand in his. “I don’t want that. But I don’t want to hurt you.”

The girl dropped to her knees in front of the devil. “If you were going to hurt me then you already would have. You had plenty of time to do so, but you didn’t, and you weren’t going to.” Fingers reached out and brushed along the rip in the boy’s shirt, the skin beneath smooth without so much as a scratch. “What happened, Zero?”

“I died,” the devil said quietly. It had never been something that he had to explain, and he wasn’t sure how to.

Ivy stared wide eyed at the boy who was obviously very much alive. “But you’re not dead.”

“I don’t really stay that way.”

“How is that possible?”

Zero shrugged. “It’s just how it’s always been. I don’t know why.”

“Does Ren know?”

“He does. I’ve died a few times on accident with him.”

“A few times?!” the girl gasped. It was impossible, and Ivy would have never believed it had she not seen it with her own eyes. “In the mountains, you had frostbite, didn’t you?”

“Maybe.” Another shrug from a boy who was unsure of the trauma to his own body.

No wonder he hadn’t been concerned with his own safety. What was the point if any harm done would just quickly heal? If you couldn’t die.

Zero couldn’t die.

That fact alone should have terrified the girl; being faced with the reality that she was before someone who shouldn’t be real. That shouldn’t exist. Who was a contradiction to everything in the natural world.

But it didn’t matter.

Because Zero was okay.

The girl’s hands ventured higher, fingers drifting smoothly through white hair without feeling so much as a tiny bump beneath them. “Do you always turn into a devil?”

“I think so. I don’t really know what happens after I die, just a lot of darkness, and then everything's normal again.” Zero paused, glancing down in silence as he concentrated before looking back at Ivy. “I don’t remember what happened, everything was black, but I heard you call for me. So I followed your voice. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

Ivy giggled at the absurdity of it. “I’m not the one who got hurt.”

The boy nodded slowly. “I guess you’re right. What do we do now?”

“Do you have any idea where you brought us?” The girl turned and stared out of the mouth of the cave at the rain still pouring down.

“No.”

“Well.” Ivy crawled over to sit next to Zero, peering up at him with a bright smile. “I guess we’ll wait then.”