Make It Quick

Zero sat outside of the tent, waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

“Ivy.”

No response.

Again.

The boy would question whether or not she was even in there if it weren’t for her small hiccups and the rustling of her skin against blankets. The girl had been upset with him before, and made it perfectly clear through the tears in her eyes and pout on her lips. She had used words to explain why she felt that way. She had helped him understand. But now he was on his own to figure it out. Ivy was ignoring him, and he didn’t like it. He would rather she yell at him. Cry at him. Look at him.

“Ivy.”

Nothing.

What was he supposed to do? He had waited quietly for her to come out or say anything to him, but there were only her muffled sobs. He tried apologizing, something that seemed to work well in the past, but this time it had only made her cry harder. Despite knowing that it was more than likely futile, the boy had even asked the man what he should do. That was met with a loud guffaw and several harsh slaps to the back before Ren waved goodbye and wished him the best of luck as he wandered off to begin his hunt for the vixen.

Why did this have to be so difficult?

He just wanted to see her. To hear her voice. To touch her. But she was hiding herself away and refusing to answer.

She had told him that he should speak up more. That he should do things that he wanted to do. But he didn’t want to do anything that she didn’t want him to.

“Ivy. Can I come in?”

The girl didn’t tell him he could.

But she didn’t tell him he couldn’t.

So, he did what he wanted.

Zero slipped in quietly, looking at the girl who was curled up facing away from him. He waited for a bit, the girl not voicing her desire for him to leave, and carefully laid down on his side behind her, not touching her, but wanting to. He watched the sporadic rise and fall of her back as she sniffled, the slipping of a lock of her amethyst hair from her shoulder and down her back, the tiny twitches and jerks of her muscles.

Ivy wouldn’t talk to him.

But maybe she would listen.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he spoke slowly, uncertain of what the correct thing to say was. “I want to be able to control myself. I don’t know if I can. But I want to. I have to.” It didn’t seem like she had even heard him, and Zero considered repeating himself. Perhaps he hadn’t been loud enough? He could try that. But before he could make a second attempt, her body would rustle as she pulled the blankets in front of her closer to her chest.

“You didn’t hurt me,” she was so quiet. “So there’s no reason for you to do all this.”

It was a relief to hear the girl’s voice. To know he was finally getting somewhere. That he was doing something right. “I didn’t hurt you, but I didn’t know what I was doing either. I don’t like that. Not being in control of myself. Having no idea what’s going on around me.”

“You have control of yourself now.”

“I do. But I didn’t then, and I might not again.”

“It only happens if you die,” Ivy hiccuped. “So just don’t die. It’s easy.”

It was an obvious solution, but the devil never had much luck in that area. “I can’t promise that to you. It already happened once with you. It’s happened before that. It could happen again.”

A meek whimper came from the girl. “When you die… it hurts.”

Zero reached out to touch her, to feel the smoothness of her skin beneath his, but stalled and drew back. He wanted to comfort her, but maybe he’d be causing more harm than good? “I know. I’m sorry. But I need to do this. I need to at least try.” The only response he received was Ivy burying her face into the blankets that she had further pulled against herself. This wasn’t going well at all. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I have to do this. Please don’t be mad at me. I don’t like it when you don’t talk to me. I don’t like it when you don’t look at me. It feels awful.”

There was a sharp gasp as Ivy’s body stiffened before she quickly rolled over and gazed at the devil, her violet eyes shy and melancholy. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to make you feel like that.”

“I’m sorry, too.” The boy reached his hand out again, unable to resist any longer, and rested it on her cheek. “I know it’s not what you want, but it has to be done.”

Her smaller hand came up to cover his larger one. “There’s no other way?” The girl asked, her bottom lip quivering as his thumb grazed along it.

“There’s not,” Zero said quietly, feeling the soft plumpness under his skin, watching the rosiness move with the way he pushed and pulled. He felt a twinge of the same urge that he had experienced when he was a devil. The undeniable longing to bring her as close as possible. The never-ending chorus of whispers, barely there, yet still so loud.

Mine

“I don’t like it.” Her voice a gentle melody, calling him closer while the pink of her cheeks deepened.

“You don’t have to.” He wanted more. Everything. “But I’m asking you to accept it. Please.”

“Okay.” Ivy’s gaze fell away from his. “I will.”

The devil’s eyes followed her attention’s downward descent, stalling on the connection of his thumb to her lips. The beating of his heart pounded loudly in his ears, his chest constricting to contain the furious throbbing that threatened to break through the bone. He had thought that with time the pull that drew him to the girl would become more subtle or even disappear.

But it never did.

It only grew stronger with every day. With every smile. Every laugh.

Every time she said his name.

The girl was so lovely. So sweet. So kind.

She always seemed to understand, even when he didn’t. There was no doubt that she would be able to understand why his blood raged like lava through his veins around her. She would be able to help him make sense of it all, the way she did time and time again, waiting patiently while he did his best to explain, picking up where he left off and finishing what he couldn’t put words to.

But what words would he use to explain this? Where would he even begin? He had no idea. There wasn’t a single word or phrase he could think of that could describe just what he was feeling.

However, if he could show it…

Perhaps if he removed his thumb from her lush lips and replaced it with something else?

His own lips?

Pressed against hers?

Then maybe it would all make sense.

Zero’s breath caught in his throat as he heard brisk footsteps outside of the cave forcing him to drop his hand and eyes from the girl. He was plagued with the feeling as if he had done something wrong, but unsure of what. Maybe doing that wasn’t something he was supposed to do. Maybe that’s why he felt so sick to his stomach as his heart sunk lower and lower, like a rock tossed into a pond. He rolled onto his back away from Ivy, trying to quell the disarrangement of thoughts firing off in his mind, as Sakura flung herself inside of the tent and onto her knees before them.

“I’m sorry. I fucked up.” The words rolling away from the woman before she could even think them or bother to recognize what situation she had just haphazardly hurled herself into. “I’m an asshole and I need to not be one.”

“What else?” Ren’s voice came from outside the tent.

The fox swung her head around. “Shut up, Ren!” she snapped. “I don’t need your help anymore! I can do it on my own!” She turned back to Zero and Ivy and breathed deeply, composing herself. “I was wrong,” she admitted with her new, calm demeanor. “I shouldn’t have gone about everything the way I did. I was being cruel, and not thinking about anyone but myself. I’m sorry. I’m sorry Ivy, there was no reason for me to yell at you when you were only doing the right thing. I’m sorry Zero, I could have handled that better. I was intentionally hurting you just because I was mad. It was a terrible thing for me to do. I really am sorry.”

Ivy sat up, staring at the demon in awe. “That was a very nice apology, Sakura.”

The woman looked down at her lap as she chewed her cheek nervously. “Yeah… well… Ren helped. But I meant it. And I know you don’t like it, Ivy, but I do think we need to keep trying. Of course, only if you want to, Zero. I think you can learn to control the madness, or whatever it is that happens when you die. But it’s gonna take time, and you’re gonna have to die. Probably a lot. And I imagine it’s gonna hurt. I don’t think we can avoid that.”

The girl sighed. “I don’t want him to keep getting hurt, and I don’t want you to be the one hurting him.” She glanced down at the devil, crimson silently encouraging her, before turning back to the fox. “But if it’s the only way, then I guess there’s no other choice. I just… isn’t there a better way?”

“I prefer the katana,” Zero interjected simply. “Through the heart. In and out.”

“Okay.” Sakura nodded as Ivy ran her fingers through the boy’s hair, peering at him with reluctant acceptance. “I can do that and make it quick. We can try again tomorrow if that works.”

The devil sat up, looking at the demon. “I want to start now.”