Kangaroo Jake

As we reached the river, I noticed a boat shack being managed by a kangaroo.

"The hell you doin here? This is my turf," the kangaroo growled as he hopped over to me.

"We just want to go down the river to find the Yowie," I nervously squeaked.

"NO! You're traveling with that piece of shit idiot! He smooched all my girls, and me. I'll never forgive him, or anyone of his friends."

"I hate him too! Here, help a fellow kangaroo out and just give me a boat instead of him."

"Then I'LL be stuck with him."

"Then kick him in the river and give me a boat."

"Nope, if you don't take a boat, you die and end up back here."

"Is there anyway to get by?"

"Crikey! I thought I recognized you! Nice to see you again Jake!" Dumbee smiled.

Jake the kangaroo kicked him into the river. Just like he said, Dumbee respawned next to the boat shack a minute later.

*Roux lost 1 brain cell to revive Dumbee*

"How about we fight for the boat. You beat me, you get a boat," Jake offered.

"YES!" I replied.

We got in position. I lunged at Jake only to get kicked into the river.

*Roux lost 69 brain cells in order to revive himself*

"Yeah, we're gonna be here a while," Jake groaned.

                                                                                  ...

On my 69th attempt, I managed to dodge Jake's attack.

"Is it possible to just steal a boat?" I asked.

"Sadly no. Some Tarantula placed an invisible wall in front of the boats. He said it will only vanish if I die, or a guy named Roux loses all his brain cells," Jake replied.

"Hey, that's you!" Dumbee smiled.

Jake suddenly stopped and began laughing.

"OH LUCKY DAY! I CAN FINALLY BE FREE OF THIS SHIT SHACK! I'LL KICK YOU IN THE RIVER AS MANY TIMES AS IT TAKES!" Jake laughed manically.

Things only got worse from there. After respawning, I'd be kicked into the river before I could even react. That spawncamping bastard just wouldn't let up.

On my 100th respawn, I somehow managed to avoid his kick. I hopped away as Jake chased after me.

"GET BACK HERE!" he shouted.

I whipped out my gun and fired. He dodged it and leapt high into the air. I then fell over and gazed up in horror as he flew down at me. I screamed and closed my eyes as I kicked out my legs. Somehow, I managed to counter his attack and send him tumbling towards the river. He managed to grab on to a root, and desperately attempted to pull himself up. I hopped over and stared down at him.

"Hey, um, sorry about all that. I just remembered you can just walk along the river just fine. Sure it takes longer, but it'll get you to the Yowie's cave," Jake nervously chuckled.

I fired a shot at the ground, causing the root to come undone. Jake screamed as the river swept him and the root away. I hopped over to the boat. There was still an invisible wall, but it vanished a minute later.

"Great going mate! Now you're the alpha!" Dumbee smiled as he grabbed the boat.

Suddenly, Ravio appeared carrying a pizza box.

"Bonjourno! I see you a beat that kangaroo. Though you actually don't need a boat to get a down the river. As long as it floats and doesn't sink when you get in, you're good," Ravio stated.

"Oh, maybe tell me this shit BEFORE I lose 6,900 brain cells!" I yelled as I kicked him into the river.

However, Ravio just used his pizza box as a surf board and surfed down the river.

"Let's do that too mate!" Dumbee smiled as he plopped the boat down and dragged me into it with him.

We arrived at the river's end in about a minute. As we got out, I saw Jake's corpse being carried away by giant dandori ants.  I felt a little bad for him, but I only cared about myself.

                                                                                  ...

As we trekked along, we saw a cave in the distance.

"Crikey mate! I've never been in that cave! I can smell the Yowie's scent! We're finally gonna do it!" Dumbee smiled.

"Yes, FINALLY this hell would be over," I replied.

"Hello my good sirs, do you wish to partake in my game?" a voice rang out.

We turned to see Sir Worthsworth, who now had a bandage on his head accompanied by Ravio.

"No we're good-"

"Sound fun mate!" Dumbee smiled as he followed Sir Worthsworth.

Ravio then sang his dumb little ditty.

"Pizza pasta, you're a giant ass! You should reflect on your douchebaggery, before you eat a pizza shit and get a splattered with a shit! You're cheesy tortellini, now I'm gonna succ some sauce."

"Whatever, go off on your own, sing your dumb song, I don't care," I grumbled as I hopped toward the cave.

However, I was stopped by an invisible wall.

"Sorry bitch, can't go past here without Dumbee," Richelieu's voice rang out.

"NO! LET ME IN! LET ME BE DONE WITH THIS HELL!"

"Then go get him, he's in the giant spaceship over there. Bye bitch!"

I turned to see a giant spaceship, and reluctantly hopped toward it. Once I was inside, I saw Sir Worthsworth.

"Good show! I'm glad you showed up. Please proceed to the main room. I will tell you and the others the details of the game," Sir Worthsworth stated.

Great, I have to play ANOTHER dumb game. I hate this place.