should i leave a memory for myself?

we're having a school festival, today is supposed to be a fun and exciting day, but here i am, almost falling asleep in the school hall seeing this lame and boring performances by the theater club, music club and stuff. i know i am not very into theatrical stuff, but the music club makes me sleep with their very mainstream, mediocre cover songs, without bringing anything new.

can't they at least play an original song?

i wish i have someone to talk to, but olivia is already sleeping beside me.

i poked her face, "hey, wake up."

she didn't budge a little bit.

"wake up!" i poked her again, still zero response.

i guess i'll just have to do it. time to poke her nostrils and maybe add a little but of push.

"aww, aww! what the hell?"

"i'm bored, let's leave."

"could you at least wake me up more softly?"

"already tried."

"but, it's not like we have anything to do anyway. sleeping here is not that bad actually, i had this very cool dream where i was super rich."

"i'll bring you to a better sleeping place."

"please don't do anything weird to me."

"sadly, you're not koko, so i won't do anything weird."

"now i'm concerned if he becomes your boyfriend."

"follow me." as i stand up and leave the venue.

actually, i just want to sleep in the rooftop, there is probably no one there, and it's pretty quite considering how much stuff is happening under it.

on the first floor, i see a lot of people outside of the school walking around, chatting with their friends while eating snacks.

on the second floor, i see a first year meeting her friend from the other school that's coming to the festival, she looks very stoked showing her friend what she did in her class.

on the third floor, i see someone trying to attract people to visit their gallery, is it the art club? i think it is. they are usually weird and kind of annoying, but seeing them trying their hardest is something that i could never do.

on the fourth floor, i see someone confessing to a third year. he said "this is my only chance to say this, but, i love you, please be my girlfriend." she said yes, but she won't know that they can still meet each other after graduating.

and here, we're in the rooftop by ourselves.

olivia instantly lays on a bench on her way resuming her sweet dream, while i got struck by something that bugged my mind out of a sudden.

on the way up here, i've seen a lot of people having fun, trying their best, making their own memories in this school. i know for this year, it's not entirely my fault because we are not allowed to participate because third years need to focus on entrance exam and such. but when i am in my first and second year, i wasted all that chances to make my own memories.

me and olivia just hide or ran away from those, because we are not interested in those kind of things, but we completely missed the point why school festival exist in the first place. it exist for the students to make their own memories and remember what's it like being a student in this place.

"olivia, do you have any moment that you cherish in this school?"

"hmm, i don't really know."

"you know, we're leaving this school pretty soon, without any memories that we could remember in the future. from winter, we're pretty much not a student here anymore."

"and why is that a problem?" olivia answers bluntly.

"i just, really love school. i know i don't have much friends myself, and i never do anything on festivals, but i actually enjoy just being here, having fun with my friends."

olivia stands up, "i'll go to the toilet for a bit." then go downstairs.

she probably doesn't like listening to my cliched, too dramatic thoughts. but it is what it is, she's the only one i can talk to personally, and now she's gone, i'm here alone.

i lay miserably on the floor, looking at the sky, wondering if i will graduate with nothing. but i don't think there is anything i can do.

i wonder if it's going to change in the high school, or i will just become a phantom walking around in the school grounds.

i don't know anymore, i'd rather sleep and then forget everything.

"ruru, wake up!" olivia shouted at me, while slapping me around.

me, still sleepy, "uh, are you done?"

olivia pointed something in the corner. "look!"

why is there a guitar and a drum? and also, a megaphone?

"why?" i asked her.

"you said you want to make your own memory, and here! we're going to perform, here!"

"w-what?!"

she pulled me there, and put a guitar on me and plugged it in. she give me a megaphone "here, use this."

"but, i have a mic here?"

"oh, i forgot. nevermind." she puts the megaphone back. "now, do it." then olivia go to the drums, with her drumsticks.

i guess, i'll remember this, whether it's a good or a bad memories.

i see people outside, most of the visitors are going home, i just realized the sun is not on top of me anymore, it's already afternoon.

i took a deep breath, "i am ruru! and i will play 23 year old's summer vacation by shinsei kamattechan!"

they turned around, everyone is seeing me, on top of a building.

i start strumming my guitar, singing, shouting my heart out.

the warmth of autumn sun, the cold breeze, and the scenery of people watching me play music, i can't hold this. my heart is going to explode, this is too much. i feel like i am going to explode at any point.

fortunately, i didn't. i survived the entire song, i hear people clapping and cheering for me. i look down, i see so many people cheering for someone like me, like i was a rock star.

around the crowds, i see koko.

"thank you so much! thank you for giving me a wonderful memory before i graduate! i hope we can cherish the memories we made in this school forever, the place where we made good friends, where we studied, where we meet our other half. once again, thank you so much for listening to this person who thought she wasted 3 years without something to remember."

"and now, a song for someone that i love. koko, please listen to this. this is, Bus by Cats on Bed."

I was like a stray dog running by myself
Going home by myself in this cold windy day,
Without any reason

You showed up to me like a sun between clouds

Giving me a spot light in my bland world
You are, you are,
I don't know to describe it

One day we're going home too late
It's getting dark but we just got a bus
We were sitting beside each other

And fell asleep together

Everything and everything!
All I can think is you!
The warm feeling of you!
I can't run from it, I can't run from it!

So, we were home to our own homes
I blushed the entire way home
I wish we could do this again
Much longer than before

Though we never met again
I am truly grateful of what happened
Having you by my side
It's the most wonderful thing

Our memory still stay in the bus
I hope there is another time
When you remember this
And cherished the memories we had
Together