53.i Nebula's Parting

~ Ham Song ~

As soon as Bodhi sent Ritsu off to figure out what to do with himself, they linked up with Ham Song in order to confront that no good dirty gold-toothed swindler Sun Seven. At least, that’s how Ham Song described him.

“We have to prepare ourselves for the possibility that he knows kung fu,” Bodhi said.

Ham Song didn’t really know how he was supposed to prepare for something like that.

“All right. If he tries to kick me, I’ll just bite his leg off.”

I bet you’re wondering where this little standoff was going to go down, aren’t you, Dear Traveler? Well, the last thing the monk and the pig wanted was another run-in with the law. So they had decided to play the stealth card and lure Seven somewhere that the Kawaii Village authorities would not have as much influence.

Seven was supposed to meet them outside of a sandwich hut in the Dog Province for lunch. On top of that, Bodhi brought along the training paper space for a little extra privacy.

“Listen pig,” Bodhi said on the way to the rendezvous point, “you better not get too overzealous and start exploding with fruit. Remember that Seven is also a sun clone. If he gets his hands on one of your immortal peaches, I might not be able to stop him.”

“Stop me from doing what?”

Ham Song released a terrifying squeal that spooked everyone in the vicinity. The pig hadn’t expected their target to sneak up on them!

Seven, it seemed, hadn’t expected any of this either. He jumped at Ham Song’s reaction, dropping all of the sandwiches that he had ordered in advance.

“Damn it! Hambro, look at what you made me do!”

Bodhi glanced around quickly before making their move. The monk used the distraction to clock Seven one good time in the nose. They then tossed the paper space over Seven’s head. It unfolded neatly behind the wounded sun clone.

“Get in here, pig!” Bodhi shouted as they used their foot to shove Seven backwards into the paper space. Then they dove in after.

Ham Song barely made it inside the entrance of crinkling light and papery edges. When the pig found his footing and blinked his eyes to adjust to the change in light, he saw that Bodhi already had Sun Seven pinned to the ground.

The monk was waving the stolen Next Dimension in Seven’s face.

“You wanna explain this?”

Seven was clearly at a disadvantage, but he still tried to swipe the card out of Bodhi’s hand. “That is none of your business, Sifu! And where the hell did you even find–”

Bodhi dragged Seven up by his collar just high enough to slam his head back down against the earth.

“Have you been trying to sell us out all so you can get your piece of Lemon Lime shit off the ground?”

Seven’s expression morphed from confusion to explosive anger. “Hey! Don’t disrespect Lemon Lime like that! It’s a labor of love, but I wouldn’t expect an addict would know anything about it!”

Before Bodhi could answer, the sun clone bashed his forehead into the monk’s. Or at least, he tried.

Bodhi was too quick to be caught off guard with a move like that. They were already on their feet and skipping backwards until they landed in a crouch atop the isolated boulder near the banyan tree.

Ham Song supposed it was his turn to interrogate, so he just charged at Seven bullfight style and roared, “Tell us what that card is for, you good for nothing ape!”

Seven meanwhile was scrambling up the smooth face of the rock, trying to get the Next Dimension card back. Ham Song tackled the clone to the ground and foamed his anger at Seven’s betrayal all over the both of them.

“That card?” Seven wheezed, nose running red from where Bodhi had punched him and eyes ablaze with anger and hurt. “That name on the card is the whole reason Lemon Lime’s chances got fucked over! It’s because of that asshole!”

Seven managed to wrestle Ham Song off of him. The pig squealed again when Seven got a hold of his unbroken tusk. With a desperate grunt and a little momentum from a haphazard spin, Seven sent Ham Song flying right into Bodhi.

The monk stood up, using their skill to kill Ham Song’s flight. Holding the pig against their abdomen, they pressed Sun Seven for more.

“Who are you talking about?”

Still pissed and fired up, Seven tore his crinkly jacket off his form and slapped away the leftover mucus from Ham Song’s mouth.

“Who else? The CEO of Next Dimension. Sun Bai!”

Ham Song felt the battle-ready tension drain from Bodhi’s body.

Seven kept raging on. “Sun Bai killed my friend and I finally got his contacts so Imma give him a piece of my mind!” He once again stormed up to the boulder. “This tournament’s the only way for me to do it! And Ritsu’s my only way inside! Sure yeah, I made up all of that stuff about Ritsu having the ‘it’ factor just so he would say yes. How else am I going to get close to this corporate fucker without getting arrested? Now give that card back to me!”

There were tears in Seven’s eyes as he stood with his hand outstretched. His glamour was cracked, his gold tooth now a simian canine and his sideburns slowly expanding their territory over his cheekbones. Combined with the bloody nose, Seven was quite the sight to behold.

Bodhi deeply sighed and set down the pig before skating down the edge of the rock. They walked up to the sun clone and handed him the business card.

Seven pulled himself together. As soon as he pocketed the card, he turned and hid his face out of embarrassment. Then he walked over to retrieve his jacket.

“Look here, Sifu. I’m not stupid. I know Lemon Lime doesn’t have a shot in hell to go beyond what it is. I know I’m not going anywhere except in circles within the confines of the Village. I know that. I know!”

He was still turned away from them. The muscles in his back trembled as he took a breath. “But I had dreams, okay? With my best pal. We had a dream – a simple idea that could have taken us at least past the Heavenly River. That’s all we wanted. A business model that could support us once we took a ferry over the river to… somewhere else. Sun Bai? Next D? They ruined all of that. For what? So they can dump more money, more lives into this deranged tourism experiment that is Kawaii Village.”

Ham Song watched Bodhi calmly approach Seven and ask, “So what will you do if you ever come face to face with Sun Bai. Spit in his face? Nothing will change.”

Seven’s shoulders shuddered as if Bodhi’s words had physically wounded him. Still, he faced them and said quietly, “Nothing will change? Don’t tell me that, Sifu.”

The sun clone looked down at the card in his hand, fixing it with a hard stare.

“I’ll have stood up for my friend. No one has spoken out for the spirits crushed under that bridge. I’ll change that. I’ll spit in that greedy Sun Bai’s face and call him every insult in the book for what he did.” Defeatedly, he sniffed. “Bet no one’s ever done that before.”

Ham Song doubted that Seven had any real shot at getting close to Sun Bai. He doubted still that Seven would act so brashly should he get that chance. But the pig and Bodhi said nothing else on the matter, letting Seven hold on to his pride.

After that, Bodhi did not waste any time apologizing for what they did. Ham Song walked up and apologized as well. He explained that they both had reason to believe that Seven was using the competition to sell information about Sun Ritsu’s staff over to Next Dimension.

Seven, who seemed to be returning to his normal self, shrugged. “I have a gold tooth, I’m not especially handsome and I wear the same tacky tracksuit every day. Anyone would have guessed that I was up to something shady. And I am, but it ain’t betrayal. Also I’m sorry I called you an addict. That was out of line.”

Bodhi waved him off. “You’re good.”

“Wasn’t that out of line.” Ham Song grunted. “You spoke truthfully.”

Bodhi gave the pig a good kick in the ribs and surprisingly, that made everything feel normal again.

After that, Ham Song trundled away from the other two spirits and flopped down at the shore of the waterfall basin. Even though he knew everything around him was a simulation, the pig was soothed by the sound of water roaring over rocks. It had been some time since he listened to something other than Kawaii Village foot traffic and bicycle chimes.