Oh no! Not my hair!

There once was a haughty king named Blunderbuss Santanahige. He was a stout man that wore a great crimson robe and had a luscious long white beard. He also had equally luscious long white hair styled in a pompadour. Then one day, something happened.

"Who are you you skinless freak!?" Santanahige scoffed at the skeletal figure kneeling before him.

"Huh!? Do you not recognize me now that I am a licht? It is I, Ivo! The man you had cast into a burning volcano. Well it hurt! My stache and skin all burned off and now I'm a skeleton. Though I know necromancy, so I was able to become a licht. I'm here because I think you are in dire need of a trim," the skeletal figure stated as he stood up.

"Ivo!? Sorry don't remember. Guards, throw him in the volcano again."

Before the guards could react, Ivo suddenly leapt towards Santanahige. He encased him in a bubble, and then proceeded to suck all his hair off with his vacuum magic.

"NOOOOOO!" Santanahige wailed in despair.

Santanahige was then ejected from the bubble in nothing but his underwear as Ivo caught his robe and put it on. Santanahige trembled as he tried to stand up. He was now a scrawny, hairless, wrinkly old man. Well he was already old and wrinkly, but now he was scrawny and hairless.

"And now, you're the Prune king," Ivo mocked as he sat in the thrown.

 A tiny orange mustache grew on his boney face and he began maliciously twirling it around.

"Now I am the promoted king! Trash the hairless prune!" Ivo laughed.

Everyone called prune king ugly and threw him out into the mud.

"Hey, wanna become king again?" a pig asked.

"Yes, how dare they humiliate me!" prune king scoffed meekly.

"Then ya just gotta collect all your hair again, like every strand of hair you just had on you a minute ago. Collect each strand and it will grow back on you. Here, I managed to snag an eyelash before Ivo sent it to the volcano."

Prune king touched the eyelash, and suddenly, he now had 1 eyelash.

"Now go bring me the rest swine!" Prune king meekly ordered.

"Do it yourself wrinkly, or you can just cover yourself in mud and stay here for the rest of your life," the pig snorted.

"NO! I am King Santanahige! I do not roll in the mud like swiney bacon!"

"Then get out bitch."

The pig then kicked Prune king out of the mud and onto the dirt road. A fat crow then shit on him. Then um, an elephant sprayed him with um, what was that thing they were arguing over on the blog, oh! Prune juice! That wasn't what they were arguing about but who cares the joke's funny.

Prune king furiously tried to yell at the elephant but tripped and flew through the sky towards a giant egg. He then found a strand of his nose hair in the nest and touched it. He now had an eyelash and a nose hair. As he was disgracefully thrown into a swamp by the bird that laid the egg, he resolved to go on a journey to retrieve every last hair that had been stolen from him.

It would be impossible considering how weak he is now, but we gotta milk this and make it last years, so look forward to Prune king, coming soon to television.

                                                                               ...

"So do you like my idea for a TV series?" Cringe asked the editor.

"No. This is unironically the dumbest shit I've ever seen. Like hell I'm greenlighting this. Besides, we have no actors on contract, and I'm not hiring bottom of the barrel failed actors for this dumb shit," the editor growled.

"I'll do it myself!"

"You're not an old man."

"Old age makeup can fix that! Plus I'll wear a skinny suit to make myself look scrawny."

"I have no problem if you self fund your own shit, but you won't get a yen of support from me or this company."

Kurinji then proudly walked away.

The editor scowled in frustration as he looked through his company employee book.

"Must he be the only one left that would agree to write season 2 of Yowie Hunt? Why did those idiots say things like "I respect Shiruka, and won't tarnish his work with a cashgrab sequel."? Where's the greed huh?"

"Hey, what are you scowlin for Eddie?" Luigi asked as he walked in.

"Luigi? They released you from prison?"

"Yeah, I'm a free man now, but I'm also broke. So I was wondering if you had any jobs or scams I could get in on."

"Can you write?"

"I can write a scam call yes."

"No! I meant a TV show."

"Oh, if it's about getting people in on a scam, then yes."

"If you want a job, I hear one of my writers is trying to self produce a series, he calls it prune king or something. Maybe he'd pay you to be the lead."

"Thanks Eddie, I'll remember that."

Cringe went on to produce a low quality episode of Prune king. Luigi was cast to play Prune king and was promised a payment of one zillion digital eyelashes which he foolishly accepted as payment. The video was mocked and panned across the board by critics everywhere. Many called it a poor attempt to try and replicate Shiruka's Yowie Hunt. Then again, were you really expecting something good from Cringe?

                                                                              [End]