Episode 3: Our First Love (3/3)

The school was already bustling by the time we reached the gates.

Halls were packed with classes busy in preparation. Many posters and signboards catered to uniquely organised shows to be hosted at the auditorium later.

From a grand theatre play to a stand-up comedy skit. A haunted house to a mini arcade, the school culture festival was stirred up with variety.

There was also a food bazaar down at the school field for anyone that wished to create their own small business.

Elliot ♀ and I took the stairs and entered our classroom—the new maid cafe.

By Tility’s engineering magic, the boring space had transformed into a fancy cake house. We got permission from a neighbouring classroom to extend the floor plan of our cafe.

Aria and I almost bumped into each other at the entrance.

“Aria…?”

Gulp.

“You two look surprisingly good today.”

“T-Thanks.”

The crimson princess had turned into a gorgeous maid.

Standing in a triangle, we found ourselves completely enamoured by each other.

Aria twirled around in her maid outfit.

“How is it?”

How is it?

My heart is completely shredded by your killer charm… Huh?

Did she just indirectly ask me to compliment her?

Elliot ♀ suddenly grabbed Aria’s outfit by the scruff.

“Ah?”

“You didn’t tie this properly.”

She fixed up the knot of the apron.

“Yo! Yo! Look who we have here!”

Oliver yelled, I turned over to him.

“Waaw! It’s perfect, it’s perfect!”

Meanwhile, Willow was screaming.

“What the hell…?”

“This vest should be positioned like this. The harness should loop around the pocket.”

With swift movements, Willow began fixing up my clothes much like what Elliot ♀ was doing to Aria.

“Not bad, not bad. You even styled your hair today. Haven’t seen you do that in a while.”

“It’s a special day after all…”

“Oh, and you should see Ellis’ outfit.”

“Ellis?”

“Yeah. I ordered her a matching outfit. It’s one of a kind.”

Willow winked.

You did what…?

I felt my stomach churn.

“Ah, so you two are…”

And speak of the devil.

Ellis who wore not a maidservant’s uniform, but a light blue dress party dress with exposed shoulders. Her words fell as we made eye contact.

Blonde hair tied into a half ponytail adorned with fake white lilies and… I felt my heart rate accelerate.

No.

What the hell is wrong with you Elliot?

You shouldn’t be feeling like this.

You’re crazy.

She smiled at me.

I thought I was going to faint.

Ellis turned to the person who instigated this whole scheme.

“Willow… I’m going to kill you.”

“Oliver! Save me!”

“Now, now. You two are the presidents, of course, you’ve got to wear something a little more dashing right?”

Oliver jutted me by the elbow as he embraced Willow.

“Yeah… I think I need to dig your head with my fist”

“Yo! I was just trying to help!”

As I was trying to screw Oliver over, I heard Ellis laugh.

She laughed?

How long had it been since I last made her laugh?

It’s weird.

Silly actually.

How this interaction felt as if the four of us had returned to the past.

Last year was just like this: Willow and Oliver, Ellis and I.

Just the four of us, fooling around with each other.

Our irrecoverable past… felt just like this one…

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

The culture festival starts from ten in the morning to late afternoon, depending on how long we wanted to run the program.

Right now it was about 2 pm in the afternoon.

Rush hour was over, and we were planning to close up shop in another hour’s time.

Frankly, with so many of the drinks and cakes now out of stock, I’d say the maid cafe was a success.

“That would be 21 dollars.”

“Here you go—the cake was quite delicious, where was it from?”

“Oh, our classmates made them. The head patissiers are Oliver and Gordon.”

The customer turned to the display set with astonishment.

“They made them?”

“Yup.”

“The cake was delicious. Tell them I enjoyed it.”

“I will. And I completely agree that the cakes they made are top-notch.”

Gordon and Oliver really worked their chef’s magic into the desserts.

“Dad!!”

I was dealing with the payment of the next customers when I heard Elliot ♀ shout.

“Elliot! And… oh my god! Another Elliot!”

It was dad. He had just arrived at our maid cafe.

I rolled my eyes.

“What in God’s name is this?”

Following right after was my unstable elder sister Luna. Mom and Jasper were also here.

“I’ll take over, you go greet your parents.”

Ellis offered.

“I owe you one. Thanks.”

“No problem.”

She and I swapped places at the cashier. I headed over to my family.

“Can we have a seat for four?”

“Right this way dad!”

Elliot ♀ guided them to a four-seater table. She deftly set down the menu.

Luna glanced between Elliot ♀ and me as if she were looking at duplicate ghosts.

“I recommend buying up all the cake and bringing it back home. It’s limited edition, you won’t find them anywhere else.”

Elliot ♀ joked.

“There are only a few slices left.”

And those few slices were those that were delicious in terms of taste but… the ones we really wanted were fast gone.

“What about the drinks? What do you recommend?”

“I recommend this one. The honeydew moonshine.”

I reached over and pointed at the shiny blue drink.

“Why? Because it’s blue like your clothes?”

“No. Because it tastes good.”

I had a taste of all the drinks, and this one was by far my favourite. Elliot ♀ thought the same.

“If you say so.”

“I want Matcha Milk.”

Said Jasper.

“I’ll have a latte, extra sugar please.”

Was mom’s preferred choice.

Elliot ♀ passed the order to the drink maker.

“Honestly, there’s so much I want to talk about.”

My dad said while scratching his head.

“I find it hard to believe that both of you are my son and daughter.”

Elliot ♀ and I nodded in agreement to dad’s concern.

“That’s just how it is.”

“I find it harder to believe most people find it normal for there to be two Elliots roaming the world.”

Dad’s reaction made much more sense when you compare it to how most of our friends reacted.

“How should I address you? Male Elliot? Female Elliot?”

“Anyway that seems right for you I guess.”

While I do sometimes mistake Elliot ♀ for myself when someone calls out our name, I thought it was no different from any two people with the same name.

If ‘Alexander’ is a common name, then it’s not as if there wasn’t another person by the name ‘Elliot’ in this world.

Dad was puzzled by the duplicate memories of us, so we had to explain to him in detail what we thought was actually going on. We both were Elliots, and the memories of him taking care of us weren’t truer for one more than the other.

“Elliot.”

Ellis called out to me in the middle of our conversation.

“I think it’s about time we start closing, what do you think?”

“Oh, and who may this be? Your friend, Elliot?”

With complimenting outfits, it made sense why dad would be curious about her.

“It’s Ellis.”

“Ah, so this is the girl you were talking about?”

“Dad… shut up.”

“Um…”

“Elliot, you entertain mom and dad for a bit. I have to start finishing up things with Ellis.”

“Alrighty.”

Leaving my family to Elliot ♀, Ellis and I started informing everyone of the closure.

We stopped accepting customers and began counting our profits.

The amount of cash we got had quite literally reached four digits. It was a significant amount.

“This is… a lot more than I expected.”

“What should we do about all this money?”

Ellis and I turned to each other.

“Maybe we’ll think about it after deducting the cost of the ingredients.”

Ellis was the first one to turn away.

“You’re right.”

I felt a little hesitant.

When did it begin, when did it change?

Just as Richard-sensei had predicted, our hostile relationship had somehow fixed itself.

How should I put it? I’m both happy and worried?

“Good job.”

Amid my thoughts, the devil himself came and patted my shoulder.

“You two presidents deserve a compliment for the success of the shop. This is the best maid cafe I’ve seen so far since my years working as a teacher.”

Really now… he must be happy his blessing did its trick.

“Thanks.”

“I still think most of it was thanks to Elliot. I didn’t do much, he was the one who initiated things.”

Ellis said, trying to downplay herself.

“But you did help him out in the end didn’t you?”

“A little bit.”

“Not just a little bit, what do you think Elliot?”

Richard-sensei was trying to put me on spot wasn’t he?

“Ellis, thanks. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“…”

Ellis did help out a bunch.

She lowered her head.

“Now then, I’m sure you two can settle the rest of this. I’ll go see the other students.”

Richard-sensei said with a wave and left.

Ellis and I stood there for a bit, unsure of what to do after the awkward situation.

“…Elliot.”

“…Yeah?”

“Could you spare a moment for me later?”

She didn’t need to explain anything.

“Alright.”

I didn’t know anything about her intentions but… I could tell rejecting her invitation here would be devastating to both of us.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

<Elliot Amaryllis (♀)>

“I… I like you!”

A long time ago, I confessed to Ellis behind the school auditorium building.

Holding down her silky blonde hair swaying by the wind, her gaze turned to the ground.

“Um… by that you mean, as friends?”

Maybe because we were naive, maybe because neither of us knew anything about love.

“I-I don’t know.”

I truly had no idea back then, if these feelings I had for Ellis were normal or… abnormal.

I only knew that I had to do something about them. Otherwise, I would’ve imploded.

“…But I like you!”

Was I stupid for saying such a childish thing to my childhood friend?

How long had we been together?

Two years? We’ve been stuck to each other like glue even since our primary school years.

“Elliot…”

She called out my name, my heart tightened, body froze.

“…Can you give me some time to think about it?”

And by then, two more years had passed.

“What’s this?”

“My answer…”

Ellis said with a slightly bitter yet sheepish expression.

Holding the envelope in hand, I held it up to the sky.

She even used a wax seal on this. How much effort did she put into writing this reply letter anyways?

“…Can I open it now?”

“No. Not yet. Do it when you return home.”

“…Alright.”

What did write… what were her true feelings?

I wanted to know.

I was afraid to know.

Elliot’s ♂ behaviour had been suspicious as of late. I could tell that the matter had to do with Ellis.

I wasn’t a fool to not realise Elliot ♂ and Ellis had secretly ditched the class midway.

I looked down at the bazaar from the high windows.

At the distant pair of students wearing matching blue.

“Willow, I’m going to go out for a bit. Can I leave things to you?”

“Where are you going?”

“I don’t know, somewhere?”

“Okay.”

Willow and I weren’t part of the technician’s team. But we helped out a little with post-cleaning anyway.

I rushed down the stairs and ran to where I last found their trace.

But I was late. I missed their tail. Stuck in a maze, I tried to predict their next move.

If Elliot ♂ was facing the same problems as I was…

I made my way to the back of the auditorium.

And just as I was about to walk out behind the fence, I heard Ellis yell something. My feet halted where their eyes would not see.

“…I’m sorry.”

“I hate you.”

“So be it.”

“I really, really hate you.”

It really was them.

I was eavesdropping in the middle of a confession…

“So let me tell you my answer you’ve been waiting for so long.”

…This uneasy feeling in my heart.

Ellis’ reply?

So it was the same as…

“Let’s start over.”

Those words sank into my mind.

I turned tails…

“I’ll stop hating you, in exchange, stop hating me. We’ll…”

No. Apparently, Ellis felt differently towards Elliot ♂.

And ran.

Hands clutching tightly upon Ellis’ envelope which I kept in my pocket, I tore the seal open.

‘Dear Elliot…’

I read it.

‘I’m sorry, I can’t reciprocate your feelings.’

The knots in my heart came undone at each word.

It was liberating.

And… infuriating.

“…She sure took a long time to respond.”

Of course, I know it’s totally fine to reject someone.

But to take this long?

Two years.

Two and a half years…

And in those two years, she even dated and broke up with Elliot ♂. Now she wants to get back together?

What bullshit?

Just because I’m a girl, not because I wasn’t Elliot ♂.

That’s why Ellis rejected me.

Gender affects so much.

It’s ridiculous.

I hate it.

Being a girl.

Why him?

Why him, not me?

Why can’t I be him?

Why did he have to mess up the love he should’ve cherished?

“Elliot?”

“…Aria?”

“You… are you alright?”

“Ah…!”

I quickly shoved the envelope and paper into my back pocket. It was a blessing the maid uniform came with plenty of secret pockets.

“You… what’s happening?”

“What’s happening?”

“Oh. Nothing.”

“You’re crying.”

Crying?

I brought my hands to my eyes.

Certainly… it was slightly wet…

“There’s no way it’s nothing.”

She bent down in front of me.

Her crimson eyes looked straight on.

“Are you really alright?”

“N-No. But it’s fine now.”

I wiped my tears away with the sleeve of the uniform.

For some reason, I didn’t feel like telling Aria about this.

I felt as if I had no reason to.

Which was odd considering how I always confided in her every time I faced trouble.

“Sorry, Aria. ”

We were close.

But our hearts felt distant.

I no longer felt comfortable being with her. It felt stony.

She sighed disappointingly.

The thought of—what if my relationship with Aria was to become the same as this?

“You know, let’s take a walk together. We hadn’t explored much of the bazaar hadn’t we?”

A way to take my mind off of things.

Aria invited with a trying smile.

“You’re right.”

She… had always been like this.

Always considering my feelings.

Aria, she…

Makes me feel guilty for taking advantage of her kindness.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

“Yo.”

“Yo.”

I saw Elliot ♂ at the gate.

We gave each other a heads-up, and then walked the trodden path back home.

After a few moments of uncanny silence, I couldn’t stand it anymore.

“So? How was it?”

I asked.

He scratched his head.

“…She gave me a second chance.”

Even though I already knew. Hearing him say so felt like a knife had just lodged into my heart.

This wretched world…

“But I don’t think we’ll be getting back together as a couple. The furthest we’d get is probably to the point of being close friends.”

Huh?

“So don’t worry.”

He said with a smile.

“We’re both in the same boat.”

“What…?”

“What do you mean, what? I got rejected of course.”

Ellis rejected him?

So I misheard?

Or was he lying…?

“She rejected you too, didn’t she?”

He bent down and rubbed my back.

He couldn’t be lying…

I wouldn’t dare lie about something so consequential.

Which only meant one thing…

Stop crying.

“Hikh.. sob…”

Stop crying.

I kept rubbing my eyes.

There’s no reason to cry.

“I cried too when we broke up, so…”

He said.

“Do your worst—me.”

Trying to soothe me.

Accompanying me as I let my emotions pour out.

I see…

So Ellis did still love him…

But for my sake she…

Ellis liked both of us.

Just in vastly different ways.

That’s why she ended up answering both our forgone confessions.

Had Elliot ♂ not been here… this probably wouldn’t have happened.

Had Ellis not cared about me… she would’ve continued to say nothing.

When I realised that I…

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

<Elliot Amaryllis (♂)>

It was only Ellis and me.

By the time we finished clearing everything, it was already late evening. Mom and dad left early, and the technician team was left to finalise the cleanup.

Neither Ellis nor I got to experience the special attractions hosted by the other classes. But we weren’t too disappointed by that fact after the class made so much money.

We made our way down the school field.

Many of the stalls had closed, and only a few were still in operation, selling the leftovers.

“Ellis, do you want takoyaki?”

I asked.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? I’m just asking if you want it or not.”

“That depends on you.”

Depends on me? Hell, it’s a question meant for you.

“Fine.”

I got the last of the takoyaki for a bargain price.

Unfortunately…

“It’s soggy.”

“I agree.”

Well, at least it hasn’t gone bad.

“They still have some ice cream there.”

Ellis looked at the portable refrigerator.

“You want that?”

“I’ll buy it myself.”

I decided to tag along.

“Here, want some?”

She handed me a second spoon.

“You alright with sharing?”

“It’s mutual.”

“…”

“…”

Does Ellis realise what she’s doing?

No.

Do I realise what I’m doing?

How exactly did it come to this?

The development feels surreal. We went from lovers, to enemies… and now to this?

What exactly did Ellis call me for? I’m sure it wasn’t just to hang out here like this.

The bite of ice cream I took couldn’t compare to Gordon’s cake, but nonetheless, it was not too bad of a treat to accompany this warm evening.

We walked around mindlessly for half an hour just like that. Looking at the various stalls half-closing.

“Golden week starts tomorrow.”

Ellis spoke.

“So it seems.”

A week of holiday.

“A long-deserved break finally.”

“But after that would be midterm exams.”

“Ugh, don’t talk about that.”

“It’s in less than two months.”

“But can’t you just not say it? It ruins the mood.”

“Well, I’m sorry. It’s not like I know bringing up an arbitrary topic could make you angry?”

“…”

“…Sorry.”

She stopped, prompting me to do the same. She looked at me.

“Elliot. Follow me for a sec. I have something I want to tell you.”

“…Got it.”

She just walked ahead.

I followed her.

“This is…”

“Right.”

The place where I first confessed to her.

It made me cringe to think back to that time. Telling her to come behind some shady area of a school building… heck, the rooftop would’ve been a better option. Couldn’t my 14-year-old self have come up with some better way to confess back then?

“You’ve been waiting for my answer.”

Her emerald eyes looked at me as if to lay down my verdict.

“I’m going to give it to you now before I change my mind.”

I felt something choke my neck.

“But answer me this first.”

Yeah, finally. How long had she delayed this?

“You like Aria don’t you?”

“…”

I like Aria.

I never told her, but I wonder how much she knows?

It all happened during the period of a messy fight.

And then falling for a different girl amid that pain.

I don’t know why I was so stupid then to think that maybe Ellis wasn’t the one for me.

Aria’s consolation was so comforting.

So on the spur of the moment, I told her I wanted to break up.

Of course, I was naive.

I regretted it.

This whole situation was my fault.

Which leads now to this moment.

It was already too late to turn back.

After confiding myself in endless lies.

“I don’t know.”

I don’t even know if I really liked Aria. She could just be a sedative I’m using to numb the heartbreak.

Elliot ♀ said it herself right? Even though she was ‘rejected’ by Ellis, she was still able to be her friend because her direction had shifted elsewhere.

I was sure if I dug deep enough, I would realise that Elliot ♀ still loved Ellis.

Which would mean that I too…

“So it really is like that huh?”

Ellis looked at me with that characteristic ‘thought so’ expression.

“I thought long and hard why things turned out the way they did.”

“I didn’t know why you would break up with me.”

“I don’t know why I couldn’t let you go.”

“Our love turned to hate.”

“Don’t think it’s just you? It was really painful for me too, you know?”

“I know I’m not perfect, and you’re not either, so why do you expect me to be?”

“The fact that I’m angry with you means that I still can’t let go of the fact that I once loved you.”

“Say something Elliot.”

“Say that you broke up with me because I was a bitch.”

“Aria was much better. Kind, gentle. She was always considerate to everyone around her.”

“Say it!”

“Say that you like Aria more than me!”

She knew in the end.

How did she find out though? Instinct?

Or was it based on a hypothesis she drew from having duplicate memories of me and Elliot ♀?

“…I’m sorry.”

“I hate you.”

“So be it.”

“I really, really hate you.”

Ellis didn’t cry, so I didn’t either.

“So let me tell you my answer you’ve been waiting for so long.”

She must’ve shed a lot of tears before this, so she was already prepared to face me like this.

“Let’s start over.”

“…?”

“I’ll stop hating you, in exchange, stop hating me. We’ll be back to how things were before our relationship even started.”

To ask why she would even consider this would be… only making the problem worse so…

“Are you… alright with that?”

“I don’t know.”

Her eyes were bloodshot.

“But I’m sure I won’t fall for you twice.”

We probably still liked each other.

But, this love was perhaps never meant to be.

“Thank you.”

I don’t know if I deserve her consideration like this.

“Don’t mention it.”

But what I do know is that… she had given me a second chance.

It definitely wasn’t because she had completely forgiven me but…

I can’t disappoint her again.