~the Leap of the Uninvited~

Thanatos did not exist.

He didn't. Nor will he ever be. He was just an old Greek legend.

I think those who believe in the existence of dumb myths like these need to open their eyes.

That's all I'd say.

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"You're here again," I said to her as I loosened my office tie.

At first I thought she was too mesmerized by the sunset sky to hear me, but then she patted the spot next to her on the tiled floor.

I sighed and walked over to her where she was sitting. The steel fence of the rooftop glinted as the last of sunbeams fell over us.

"Hope you brought a jacket. Or a coat," she said, finally looking at me. Her face was as bright as the day itself. But it was her eyes that made me drawn to her the most.

Her eyes were full of life. Unlike mine.

"I didn't." I grinned nervously, sitting on the ground next to her. As expected, the floor was cold as ice. The almost disappearing sun did nothing to help me warm up so I instinctively huddled right next to her.

"Silly, you knew I would be up here," she told me, to which I blankly nodded.

"And you knew it would get colder."

"Yeah, sorry," came my simple reply. I didn't bother elaborating further and thankfully, she didn't ask me either. She only wrapped her arm around my shoulders and held me close, making me relax into her warmth.

We both gazed into the pink sky, now hazing towards a faint purple.

For a few seconds, none of us said anything. I had the strangest feeling that there was something--no, some sort of conclusion she had reached. Why, and about what, I didn't know. All I hoped was that it was something trivial, like planning what to eat for dinner, for example.

But the minute she turned to me and opened her mouth to speak, I felt a weight drop in the pit of my stomach.

"I... want to ask you something."

"What's up?" I asked, trying not to sound panicked.

"Why don't you let me go to the rooftop by myself?"

The question itself wasn't new; in fact, this was the fifth time she was asking me this.

"There you go, asking that weird question again. Didn't you come up here alone today?" My answer, too, was the same as the previous four times.

But she glanced at me with a sort of melancholy in her lovely eyes. "You know what I mean."

I couldn't bear to look at her, so I closed my eyes, instead feeling the peaceful rise and fall of her chest.

A warm hand enveloped mine, and I heard a small mutter from her.

"Please tell me."

I sighed before saying, "What exactly is there to tell you?"

"Tell me why you rush to my side whenever you realize I'm here. I've even seen you frantically cancel a meeting once."

"You did?" I asked, surprised. "When?"

Through my closed eyes, I could still tell she was half-smiling. "The last time I was up here. I spotted you in the parking lot from the fence, you didn't even lock your car in a hurry."

Ah. That was really uncool of me. I was just...

"...--worried." Came her voice.

I opened my eyes to see her wistful face basked in the gentle glow of dawn. "What?"

She held my hand tighter. "I was worried about you, you know? Whenever you're not feeling well you always come up here. You say it's dangerous for me, but what about you?"

I blinked at her strange tone. I could not see where she was getting at.

She continued, seeming to hold back her voice from shaking, "You always lean so close to the fence. As if there's something you're hoping to reach if you extend your hand enough. It... it makes me fear the worst."

I wanted to say something to console her, to tell her she had the wrong idea. But the words died in my throat.

"This is why I wanted to come up here," she said, still trying to hold back her tears, "to see what the deal was about. Maybe I thought that you had a thing for the view. But I don't know anymore."

Then after a pause, she said, "I just don't understand why you won't let me come up here. Alone."

At her words, I let my eyes wander towards the shiny fence, the purple evening sky, and...

...Him.

Oh.

Oh no. No, no no no--

My heart started to pound loudly, and despite my hands becoming clammy with sweat, I held on to her firmly. I wasn't letting her go.

He was here-- No. No, he's just a figment of my imagination. He always have been.

Ever since I could remember, he had been there, following me, but not closely. I usually saw him at rooftops and high places. But... whenever I had expressed my urge to fly, or hover in the air like him... he usually shook his head.

As I grew up and got a job, life had become too stifling. And every time it had become terrible to breathe, I found myself yearning to fly like him. To leap from the fence.

But he would never let me. He told me Eros wouldn't like it.

I was distraught, sure. But never too bothered; after all, he was but a piece of my imagination.

I never admitted it, but the only thing keeping me in check was her. The girl I had come to love and adore. The very same girl whom Thanatos had pointed at when she had first found me on the rooftop.

"She has been chosen," the stupid hallucination of mine had said to me.

And now... with the night sky in the backdrop, he pointed at her again. I ignored him and glanced at the person next to me, to reassure her that I was fine.

To my horror, she was looking straight through the fence, at him.

But how? She wasn't supposed to see him--

"So... this is why you often came up here..." she muttered breathlessly.

"No-- wait--!"

Before I could even process what was happening, she stood up, and elegantly climbed over the fence. All within a second.

Thanatos gently smiled at her approaching figure.

I was not fine. I was not in the arms of my beloved anymore.

I was not fine.

"Hey," she softly called through the fence, looking over her shoulder as she did, "it'll be alright."

I couldn't hold back my panic, my heartbreak, anymore, "No-- It'll never be alright! Not without you!"

"...I'm sorry."

No. Not in a million years I would let him take her. Not just like that. I knew how she was as a person. She was the exact opposite of me, always full of life, brimming with dreams and hopes for the future.

If anything, Thanatos should've chosen me, not her.

"Wait. Listen--" I yell at her, now getting up and climbing the fence too. If this was how it is, then so be it. But I simply wouldn't let him take her away from me.

She looked at me and sadly shook her head. All of a sudden, I felt my shoe get stuck on one of the wires detached from the fence and I lost my balance. I yelled out, thinking I was going to fall over the edge of the building, but she grabbed me.

"You don't have to do this," she said.

"But--"

"There's so much for you out there. It's only a shame we couldn't be together for a while longer."

I couldn't believe my ears... was this really the girl I had grown to love?

Taking my hand into hers once more, she gently grazed them on her tear-stained cheek. "Thanatos didn't chose you," she said, "______________."

And then she leaped into the arms of Thanatos. But unbeknownst to his plans, I jumped along with her too.

We both flew into the call of the night.

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A few days later, I awoke to a start. I was in a bright room with white sheets, and a heart monitor on the side.

...She wasn't here. Nor was Thanatos.

She had escaped from the clutches of life.

Thanatos did not exist.

That's all I'd say… but…

He didn't. Nor will he ever be. He was just an old Greek legend.

…But didn’t she leap into his arms back then?

Those who believe in the existence of myths like these need to open their eyes.

It was only when my mind echoed the last words she had left for me that I realized.

"Goodbye, my love." She had said right before taking flight.

I had opened mine.

"...Goodbye," I now muttered to the still air. "Goodbye, my lovely muse."