Swallowing Pride

“Please help me, Lady Scarlet.”

“I shall admit that your ability to swallow your pride when it matters is impressive, Dame Medrauta, but no matter how many times you ask me, my answer will always remain the same.” Lady Scarlet sat across from the silver-haired knight, a cup of tea in hand. She set it down elegantly, the fine porcelain barely making a noise even in the silence of the tent.

Medrauta grit her teeth, lowering her head to hide the desperation in her face. “...Why?”

“I already explained it to you, did I not? You are a knight, Dame Medrauta. You bear no Crest and cannot, thus you cannot learn to manipulate mana. It is a simple fact of nature that neither of us can do anything about.”

At that, Medrauta had no choice but to remain silent. The circumstances of her birth certainly weren’t up to her, and even her muddled childhood memories still only halfway resurfaced told her there was little she truly controlled even after entering the world. Yet, it was those very memories which gave her the tiny sliver of hope she still clung onto.

The immediate encounter against the Walpurgisknight after ascending the shield tower coupled with the urgency of the war had given Medrauta little time to contemplate her returning memories, especially when they were still so hazy and jumbled. It was only now that Medrauta and her allies received some breathing room with the mass destruction of the witchspawn’s main force, allowing them to take a brief respite as they waited for the supply unit from the Revelo duchy to catch up.

With new supplies and reinforcements, life at the camp had become much less spartan, especially for nobles like Scarlet. Armed once more with a proper wardrobe, tea and biscuits, and an assortment of rugs and furniture that decorated the interior of her tent, the noblewoman exuded a new level of opulence even during wartime.

“If there’s nothing else, I must invite you to take your leave, Dame Medrauta. Now that my things are here, I shall be quite busy managing my garments and—”

“Managing your garments...?” Medrauta’s voice was barely louder than a whisper, yet the rage and frustration that seethed from her words were almost palpable. “Viviane’s been unconscious for two days and you’d rather manage your garments instead of—”

“If I could have done something, I would have done it already, Dame Medrauta.” Scarlet’s violet eyes flashed with vivid anger as she held Medrauta’s gaze. “Do you truly think I would simply sit still and refuse to help my one and only friend? Of course not. I am controlling my emotions because I know that there is nothing else I can do for her. You are throwing a tantrum because you cannot do anything other than that.”

“So are you, my lady.” Eris slipped through the tent flap, interrupting before Medrauta could lash out with a retort. She carried a bundle of clothes in one hand and a bag of assorted supplies in the other. She set her things down on a nearby recliner and made her way to Scarlet’s side. “But that aside, you don’t see me as a friend? I’m hurt.”

“W-What are you talking about, Eris!? You know that’s not what I meant!”

“Oh? What did you mean then, my lady? Please do tell me. I’m quite curious.” Eris smirked, leaning closer to Scarlet.

Medrauta squinted, the anger within her slowly dissipating as she witnessed Eris’ uncharacteristically bold behavior. She knew the other knight had managed to make up with Scarlet after the whole heart-to-heart they had several nights ago, but she had no idea their relationship had progressed so far already.

“Look, Lady Scarlet. I don’t care if you wanna play dress up on your own time or flirt with your knight, but I’m serious about this.” Medrauta said. “I know I’m a knight, and because of that, you don’t think I can use mana. But—”

“There is no ‘but’, Dame Medrauta. What do you not understand?”

“I’m not finished. As I was saying, I might be a knight, but I don’t think that’s all I am.”

“...What do you mean?” Scarlet frowned.

“Honestly, I don’t know.” Medrauta’s lips formed a thin line as she attempted to formulate a way of explaining her situation to Scarlet without being obtusely direct. Finding none, she soldiered on. “I... I’ve been seeing memories of my childhood. My past was always blurry and I never gave it much thought for some reason, but recently, I had a pretty vivid dream about my mother. It was fragmented, but I remember my mother mentioning something about an ‘Oath.’”

In an instant, the air seemed to turn cold and frigid. The silence that hung in the air after Medrauta’s final word was taut, but not brittle. Scarlet stiffened, her eyes flickering toward the closed tent flaps as if confirming that no one was eavesdropping. With one slender finger, she pointed toward the entrance of the tent.

“Eris.” Scarlet intoned. “Stand guard and ensure no one approaches the tent. This is of utmost importance.”

Eris frowned, the confusion evident on her face. It was clear that she wanted to ask questions, but the look in Scarlet’s eyes made her stop and simply nod. There would be plenty of time later to interrogate her lady in private, after all.

Scarlet watched Eris make her way to the exit, her eyes lingering on the blonde-haired knight’s back as Eris slid through the tent’s flaps and disappeared behind them. She held her gaze on the closed leather flaps for a few more seconds before returning her attention to Medrauta.

“Tell me again, Dame Medrauta. You heard your mother mentioning something about an ‘Oath’?” Scarlet asked, her voice slightly tense. “Was it perhaps her Oath or someone else’s?”

“It was her Oath.” Medrauta spoke with surety this time. That part of her memories had been clear at the very least. “It was... the reason she had to leave me.”

“Tell me, Medrauta... Have you heard of Paladins? Surely you have read about them in the shie—M-Medrauta!?” Scarlet cried, upsetting her chair as she stood abruptly.

Medrauta clutched her head in pain, falling to the ground. She clenched her jaw tightly, uttering a low groan as she fought the urge to scream. There had been a need for why Scarlet instructed Eris to guard the tent, and even Medrauta could understand that as she writhed in pain. The behavior of the guards toward the shield tower’s library that Viviane had so desperately protected several nights ago was proof enough.

“I’m... fine...” Medrauta managed through clenched teeth, her brow slicked with cold sweat. She dug her fingers into her skull, gripping tightly in the hopes of overpowering the waves of pain that flashed through her head. Her vision swam, black spots flashing in and out of existence.

Normally, she would simply give in and remain on the floor, but now she struggled to stand, undiluted focus burning furiously in her azure eyes. With Viviane already unconscious, Medrauta refused to suffer the same fate and leave her lady alone, fighting through every second of excruciating pain as she slowly rose to her feet.

Scarlet extended a hand to support the knight, and Medrauta took it gratefully. Though concerned, the noblewoman chose to remain silent, fearing that even the slightest distraction might cause Medrauta to lose her focus and fall once more.

Wave after wave of pain wracked Medrauta’s entire body, hammering pure agony through her flesh in an attempt to break her spirit. She clenched her jaw so tightly that it felt as though her teeth might shatter, but still she refused to relent. She refused to be taken into the comfort of darkness that would drive away all the suffering she was forcefully enduring.

Medrauta’s torturous state lasted for several minutes, sweat and tears streaming down the knight’s face by the end of it. She had collapsed onto her knees, bent over and clutching her head before the last lance of agony finally extricated itself from her body slowly and painfully.

The knight’s entire body shuddered as she inhaled. She looked around, immediately regretting it as the vivid colors of the plush carpets and fabrics strewn across the tent’s interior created a highly disorienting effect that forced Medrauta to wrench her eyes shut once more.

She shook off the flash of pain and rose to her feet, taking the handkerchief that Scarlet offered her gratefully. Wiping off the sweat on her brow and drying the tears on her cheeks, Medrauta somehow managed to turn to Scarlet with a look of supreme calm on her face, as if nothing had ever happened.

“Are you... Are you alright?” Scarlet asked, a frown creasing her otherwise perfect face. Her voice seemed almost delicate instead of the usual commandeering tone she adopted.

Medrauta simply nodded. “I think it’s passed, but more importantly I think I’ve... gained another memory.”

“Something more concrete?” Scarlet asked, recalling how Medrauta had told her that the memories she normally received were only fragments of fleeting moments.

“Something like that. Lady Scarlet, have you perhaps heard of my mother? Her name was Morgana. Some knew her as the ‘Last Paladin.’”