Something’s not Right

LILIANNA

After their recent exchange in the event, Lilianna was excited to reach out to Phoenix.

At first, she sent her cute stickers. Then, she shared pictures of her day to day.

Eventually, Lilianna found herself thinking of Phoenix every time interesting things happened in her life. She would share just about anything; it didn’t matter what it was, as long as it kept their connection alive.

Though Phoenix seemed reserved, Lilianna noticed her attentiveness. She carefully listened to Lilianna’s stories and remembered them months after. Eventually, they settled into a routine of FaceTiming each other nightly. Seeing Phoenix’s beautiful face at the end of each day was like being enveloped in a cozy blanket, providing comfort amidst the coldness and unpredictability of life.

Three years passed in no time. Lilianna was now 16.

After showering, Lilianna gently patted her hair dry with a light pink microfiber towel. She traced a lip mask over her lips, pausing to examine herself in the mirror as she let the moisturizer set on her face.

Her heart fluttered as she reached for her phone and tapped on Phoenix’s name. She was excited to tell Phoenix she was going to the same University as her!

It was far from where Lilianna lived, but thankfully, it had dormitories. Not to mention, the campus housed a famous garden centered around the plant sculpture of a Goddess. Around it were plants and flowers from various species. Lilianna felt a pull to join the organization that looked after it.

But her main reason for applying to that University was Phoenix.

Lilianna stared at her reflection from the screen as her phone rang repeatedly. Her fingers traced along the smooth shape of the white vase next to her bed as she waited for her call to be picked up.

A few minutes later, Phoenix still had not answered. Lilianna was confused. Phoenix had never missed a call without prior notice. “What’s going on?”

She plopped herself on her bed and called again. This time, a sound came and Phoenix came to view.

The woman sat on her desk chair, posture straight as a ruler. Her brows furrowed, and her eyes glinted with a sharp edge.

Lilianna’s expression subconsciously mirrored Phoenix’s. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m fine.” Phoenix’s forefinger went up to massage her forehead, seemingly deep in thought.

“Do you have a headache? Should we change to a voice call so you don’t have to look at the screen?”

Phoenix’s eyes snapped to her side before saying, “no, I’m telling you, it’s okay.”

Lilianna repositioned herself to lie on her side. She placed her phone against a pillow and stared at her phone’s camera lens so it appeared like she was looking at Phoenix.

"I can tell something's bothering you. Your eyebrows get all scrunched up when something's on your mind."

“…”

“It’s just family stuff.”

“Family stuff?” Lilianna paused. As far as she knew, Phoenix only interacted with one family member. “Your dad?”

“Yeah, we had a fight.”

Lilianna looked at the woman’s tense gaze from the screen. Her attention hyper focused on Phoenix. “It sounds like it was a big fight. Do you want to talk about it?”

Phoenix sighed, “I don’t. I’ll just talk to you tomorrow. I need to think.”

Lilianna felt a weight in her heart, and a torrent of emotions surged in her. Her eyes misted and she let out a sigh as a way to soothe herself.

How come every time she wanted to get close to this woman, it always ended up with an invisible door being slammed at her face? She just wanted to be someone Phoenix could rely on.

“I’m coming over.” Lilianna murmured after pondering to herself for a while.

“Huh?”

“I’m coming over, don’t you dare sleep on me!!” In a rush of impulsivity, Lilianna catapulted herself out of bed, phone in hand.

“You live 6 hours away from me!”

“I don’t care!!” afraid Phoenix would start talking her out of it, she ended the call abruptly.

Only then did she realize she looked like a mad woman, so she followed up by sending Phoenix a picture of her gift. A few hours from now would be Phoenix’s birthday, and Lilianna told her she wanted to give her the gift as soon as possible. She wouldn’t be able to refute that.

Lilianna’s mind chattered as she rummaged through her closet. She just got her license and needed an adult to accompany her when driving at night. She needed to convince her brother to come with her.

Her frantic searching stopped at a white off-the-shoulder blouse.

These days, even though Phoenix kept chatting with her, Lilianna noticed a distance gradually growing between them. She didn’t know if it was because of the mafia or if Phoenix had finally gotten tired of her. Maybe her patience had ran out and thought she was annoying. Just thinking about that made her heart sting.

Sometimes, it felt like her and Phoenix stood on opposite ends of a collapsed bridge. Even if she wanted to close the distance between them, there was no way of doing so. Phoenix was keeping so many things from her, and her mind couldn’t help but think the worst.

But as long as Phoenix still reciprocated her efforts, she would strive to be the best friend she could be.

After getting herself ready, she scurried her way into the corridors before stopping in front of her brother’s bedroom. She knocked softly.

There were a few minutes of silence before the door opened. Her brother adjusted his eyeglasses and pinched her right cheek.

“What’s wrong? Had a nightmare?”

Lilianna wanted to get angry from being treated like a little kid, but she had a much more important purpose, so she pretended she was ten years old again and held her hands out so that her brother could wrap her in a bear hug. “Isaac, you’re the best big brother in the world!”

“U-huh. What do you want now?”

Without letting go, Lilianna tightened her hold on a tiny box in her hand and blurted, “can you come with me to my friend’s house? If you don’t want to drive, I will. It's going to be my friend’s birthday tomorrow and she’s really lonely.”

Her brother replied, “sure.”

“It’s 6 hours away...”

Isaac broke the embrace so he could look her in the eye. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah… please?”

Her older brother sighed. His hand rubbed his face in a deep thought. “What if I have work tomorrow?”

Lilianna smiled, already having considered the possibility, “you have no work tomorrow.”

Isaac tsk-ed jokingly and guided her to sit on the sofa. “Who’s this lucky person you’re visiting in the middle of the night? Is it Phoenix?”

“Yeah…”

He sat right next to her. “Why does it have to be now? Can’t it wait ‘til tomorrow?”

Lilianna played with the small box in her hand. It was covered neatly with a black wrapper and tied up with a soft, orange ribbon. In the middle, it said 'Happy Birthday!'

“I can’t wait til tomorrow. I just… feel like we’re drifting apart. Something’s bothering her and she’s not telling me. I want to show her I’d be there for her even if it means driving 6 hours in the middle of the night.”

Isaac let out a ‘hmm’. He liked to do that when he tried to formulate his words so they didn’t come out too harshly when he scolded her. Lilianna braced herself.

“Did Phoenix tell you to come over?”

“... no.”

Silence filled the room. Isaac sighed, a tiny smile forming on his lips, “you always think you know the best for everyone, don’t you?”

Lilianna looked away and murmured, “because I’m usually right.”

Isaac's tone turned more serious, “Lilianna. I understand you want to offer support for people you care about in times of need, but sometimes it’s also important to give them space and let them process things on their own.”

Lilianna raked her hands through her hair in frustration. “It’s just… I can feel that she’s hurting. I feel so powerless. I talk to her everyday and sometimes I can tell something’s bothering her, but she won’t tell me about it.”

Lilianna exhaled shakily, blinking back tears. “I thought if I could just see her, things would be okay...”

Her brother stroked her head to soothe her. “Maybe it will be. Let’s take a step back for a bit. Why don’t you message Phoenix first and tell her how you feel? Ask her if she’d like you to come over, but give her space if she needs it.”

Lilianna sighed, feeling her sense of reasoning coming back to her. As much as she hated to admit it, deep down, she knew Isaac was right. Her stomach wrenched as she expressed her thoughts to Phoenix.

She asked her brother to check her message before sending it. A few moments later, there were three dots dancing on her screen. She had almost forgotten to breathe.

Then, the dots disappeared. Lilianna’s face paled as she stared at her brother.

He gestured for her to look at her screen again and the three dots reappeared. Her eyes were glued to the screen, so unblinking that they almost dried out. Then, a sound came.

Phoenix: [Yes, you can come over.]