V2 Incline 41: Rose'lhia

Standing before the Gilded-Bark, I rub my arm as I fail to keep my eyes anywhere near him, "You will need to find a new Ivy-Mother I can't do this anymore, I just can't..."

I turn to look into the pair of holy fires behind me.

"Why, Rose'lhia?" is all he asks as he seems to join me in looking at the flames. If this were another time, what I've just said would be unthinkable. I wish I was still that version of me, but, I can't... I can't keep wishing others luck with their love-filled endeavours when I keep being denied it myself.

It's funny, once upon a time, hearing what I just heard, I would've collapsed swooning all over him. Lashing out at them with lustful violence so that they could make me a mother. Something I am apparently not destined to ever be. The one thing I've only ever wanted, to be the thing half my old title is.

I fell in love with a human... What was a human man. Someone who lifted what no other man could, he who fought off what even an army of thorns struggled to handle. I was so close to having a son to call my own.

I sigh as fists form, "What right do I have to be an Ivy-Mother? I guide everyone to something I will never find or have. I know my duty, I am fully aware of the responsibilities everyone in this flower, our garden-mont and beyond have. But, what's the point when I will never bear a soft smile towards my little golden apple as he sprouts from the ground? I don't have any right to wear this dress or hold this staff... I am a disgrace for even being near any of it!"

I make sure to simmer down before my anger gets the best of me, it is wrong to damage such a sacred staff as that of an ivy-mother...

"I see..." he answers as he stands up and walks over. His points hit the cracked marble loudly and my chest starts to hurt. A hand lands on my shoulder and he starts to pass over some of his magic for the sake of my undeserved well-being.

I try to shuffle out of it, but his fingers tighten their grip.

"I will not allow you to leave the role, not yet, anyway... If this is what you desire. I will give you time to calm down and recover so you can think this choice over properly. It will be some time before we can start moving again and I will ask again once we return to Ahnelges. Then, I will hear your final choice on the matter, Ivy-Mother." he tells me before he walks off to continue helping with the repairs and supervising.

With the help of the ivy-mother's staff, I hobble on through the flower without a care. My heart died recently and I ignore all the pleas spoken out for me. Reaching the open space beyond the Roots, I glance up at the decapitated mountain. The Valkinvar's battle had shattered its peak and boulders of ice and rock rained down.

I do not know how many have died since that battle, but all the men have rallied together to help us. It's our responsibility as women to take care and handle this, but, they will not have it. All around the flower, even amongst the roots, they're clearing debris and tending to the wounded. The young are protected and the elderly are cared for.

It feels so strange, even now with my heavy-ladened mind. We keep the men safe because there are so few, but when the trouble started, they were the first to rise. Just like in ancient times, when so many gave their lives to protect us. They need to stop so that we might have sons still...

Looking over at the Valkinvar and her group, I approach them as Dandel'lhia hides behind the larger bags.

"Vapooliar... What do you mean we are going to go past that mountain!? We said we were going that way! The other way!" the oxfuine exclaims as I look up at the now empty thorn graft. The Gilded-Bark has finally stopped looking for someone who has been here the whole time.

"I would like to say goodbye to Nin." the Valkinvar answers, a name that leaves us both worse off for hearing it.

"Goodbye!? He's dead! He's been dead since before he even left the hive with you before you joined up with me and the slavers!"

"No!" the Valkinvar nearly snaps.

"Yes! You had your opportunity to say goodbye to that monster now let's go!"

"Do not try and convince me that the one who saved me in that hive is one of them you filthy mutt!" the Valkinvar growls at the weak creature and she backs away with a raised tail and ears.

"Can... Can I come?" I ask weakly as I lean against the ivy-mother's staff. The Valkinvar snorts to herself as she kicks a short trench into the ground.

"Come where?" they ask as they turn to me with immense magical pressure pouring out. I close my eyes so that its dangerously beautiful glow does not blind me. It hurts to be so close to such power, directed like this, it only provokes my nasty wounds.

"As far as the mountain he was once captive in. The place where he saved you, Valkinvar." I explain as she seems to ease up on the strength of her presence. I just want to try and get as many positive memories of my love as possible, seeing as he is now with Undwote in the mists. Held by him in his rocking chair as it goes back and forth with soothing momentum.

"Fine." she huffs as she starts to walk off with nearly all of their supplies. I follow behind as quickly as I can given my current state. Pushing so far as to aggravate my wounds just to get up the mountainous ramp leading up the cliff.

I hiss as I take the final, agonising step off onto the flat ground.

"So... Valkinvar... How did you two meet?" I ask once we enter the still-forested valley leading to the hive.

She sighs before her blade, which she has been dragging through the soil, comes up to her face. Her grip tightens audibly and the blade drops into the ground. With aimless eyes, she looks around at everything. Sighing once again.

"He... He saved me from them." she admits as she tries to hide her abdomen.

"He must've been quite the sight!" I try to smile at but the human just stares towards me. Though, I do find it odd that someone as powerful as a Valkinvar needed to be saved by my love. But, that only makes him even greater!

"He was a very welcome sight for teary, sore eyes..." she explains as her mind likely becomes occupied with the memories of his heroics. Whatever he had to do to save the Valkinvar, he doomed himself, it seems.

"Why're we back here...?" the oxfuine whines as we come up upon a mountain which has mostly collapsed. Works surround it and the thorns' attempts to get inside are still manned even now. Though, they're steadily pouring back to the flower in order to keep it safe.

The Valkinvar starts to plant her blade at the old, collapsed entrance of the mountain.

"What're you doing?" the oxfuine asks.

"I don't know... I've had many thoughts go through my head as of late. I do not know if I deserve to still hold this. I have failed in my duties." the Valkinvar explains with words that hurt me deeply. My grip on the ivy-mother's staff shuffles about as if I have sweaty palms.

"I can understand feeling like that, I feel the same." I briefly glow in response with my true-voice as the Valkinvar leaves her sword alone.

"Keep the sword, then." the oxfuine comments.

"Why?" the Valkinvar asks as she shows trouble leaving the blade behind.

"So you can stop incidents like this from happening again. You may be a Valkinvar but you can still get stronger, if it is Nin you feel the need to apologize to, then do it through your actions. Go where you wish, but work on yourself so you never have to see another monster form from something you or someone else cares for." the tailed creature explains and I ponder this wisdom for the moment.

"I am no longer a Valkinvar... I've told you people so many times!" she nearly shouts as her fists drop sharply.

"Give new meaning to the sword, then. Change your meaning to be built off of the man who saved you in this mountain. The man I came to fall in love with..." I tell her as my eyes linger on the ivy-mother's staff.

"New meaning in life..." the Valkinvar mutters as her marked palm covers the decorative pommel of the sword.

I walk up to and hug them.

"Honour his memory, do not let that beast define him for you." I whisper to her as I listen to myself carefully.

"His memory..." she repeats as she steps out of the hug with only her sword still on her person.

"Good luck with your efforts, Valkinvar. Whatever god or goddess might be able to help you here, make sure to seek them." I tell her as she disappears from my sight, around the curve of the mountain's base. I briefly glance at Dandel'lhia and sense her seed on her person. Looking down in defeat, I make a quick prayer for the unborn child so that he might grow up healthy and strong.

Hobbling away, I leave them to whatever they might choose to do from here on out. However, as I disappear back down the forested valley, my steps become increasingly aimless. I do not know what I am going to do from now on... I don't want to help others find love when the ones I love keep being taken from me.

"Nin, my Champion... My Love." I sniffle as I hide my eyes.