CH17: Resolve to do what is must

How did it come to this?

Somebody told me once that the dungeon creates trials by predicting fate, and I never once thought that I'd be obliviously walking above its hand. I never wanted to harm her, and obviously not to kill her. There must be a way somehow to defeat fate; am I overlooking something here?

I shoved my hands to work tirelessly. I haven't slept for days. I'm so exhausted, but I should stay awake for the sake of creating a cure. But the more I continue, the more I think this is impossible. I've been cutting flesh, experimenting on the pus, and doing everything I can, but the more effort I put in, the more I want to give up. I'm foolish, thinking that I could do it on my own. I'm so arrogant when I'm so dumb to even think that this is beyond me. Just knowing something about medicine won't make me a doctor; it's just a fantasy that I hope is true.

"Please... Kill... me.... She's inside... my head." The man I tortured groaned, and I don't care about him anymore whether he lives or dies. Just looking at his state makes me pity him. His gutted stomach is filled with worms eating him from within. Somehow, the melting of himself due to the fog halted at some point. His adaptation made me take interest in him for a moment, I let him live. However, that is over now.

Should I kill him now? In his state, killing him would be mercy.

"Afufufu...," afufu? Is he laughing...? Like a girl?

"Finally, I'm back. Kyun ♥"

Kyun!? At the moment's notice, I jump back and prepare my sword. Something is eerily wrong with him right now, I just know it... Just a minute ago, he was begging to die, but now he's like enjoying every bit of pain. He's staring at me with wide eyes and a grin on his face... Then he winks at me!

"Oh, don't be scared. It's not the first time we've met each other."

Just what the hell is with him? Did my torture damage his head or something? Is it an alter ego trying to shield his psyche from pain? I don't know. Just...

"What are you?"

"Bwahaha! You're silly. I'm the mother of all of what you call 'the infected.' Technically, I'm your biological parent."

Mother of all infected? I've heard the infected has someone they called ' the Quen' though I don't remember when, it must be the big boss or something that leads the pack of her kind. And that mother could control the body of the infected? I knew at that moment's fact that whatever thing this was, she was an enemy that needed to be slain. Maybe...

"If I killed her, everyone will return to normal... is probably what you're thinking right now. But sorry, even I don't have full control over my children. They have their own life to live, and I'm not a cruel parent to restrict their freedom."

I grit my teeth. She's lying. What could she possibly do about the fact but hide it? If I...

"Killed her right now, I could test it out, and I won't lose anything... is probably what you're thinking. Sorry, but if you kill me, you're just killing this vessel I'm borrowing."

Hell! Is she reading my mind!?

"Then probably, you're going to say 'I'm not your kid, I'll never turn into an infected'... just ouch, you hurt my feelings. You're just saying that I'm not acceptable as a parent."

The man widens his smile that it becomes almost crescent-like. "It's just a matter of time, son. Just look at Irisia, she's already starting to turn. Everything is already written in fate, isn't that right, my dear Theo?"

A surge of shock courses through me, and I almost attack him. "You! How did you know my name!?"

How the hell did she know!? Even Irisia didn't know my real name. I never left an indication of my past identity, so how did he...

"Bwahahaha! You're amusing. Just what part of 'everything is already written in fate' didn't you understand? I knew you'd be here even before you died."

It feels like my insides are getting churned and twisted. Just what kind of logic is that? How could that even be possible? Even powerful divination from prophets is just enough to predict abstract future events without precision.

"No matter what you do, no matter how much you hide, everything is already determined by fate. You can't escape it; you need to kill Irisia. It's the best for both of you, no... for all of us!"

I struck his chest with my sword and asked, "What else do you know?"

I wanted to ask if he knew something else... what about my death? Why did I turn into a goblin? Why did the hero betray me!? He just smirked at my face as I grabbed his neck. He said, "You know... in my world, even small data has value. Find me on the 28th floor, and I might consider telling you everything that you want to know. About fate, about this dungeon, about the god who took your soul..."

The god who took my soul? I think about it for a second before arriving at a conclusion... "Hielfritz..."

"Yes... and why your friends decided to kill you."

The man's eyes turned up all whites before turning down again normally. Then he mutters, "Please... kill me...". He's back to his original personality. Just what the hell is that? I look into his eyes, and I just know he's not pretending.

I pulled him toward the pond, and he started screaming at me, "No! That's not what I mean!" Seems like something like him is scared of the healing water. It's a more concentrated version of the fog, which means it would melt him faster to death, or worse, he'd be there suffering for weeks before he dies.

He lets out a short scream but sinks deep until I don't know if he's alive or not. It's not my business now.

...

Venturing into the damned, cold forest during the night, I tried to find where she could be. It's been days, and I still haven't found a trace of Irisia. The only things I've encountered are walking corpses trying to eat me alive. I did my best to avoid them because even though they are individually weak, their quantity is just too much for me to handle.

Luckily for me, I wasn't about to turn yet. It seems like the spread of infection inside my body had somehow slowed down, as if my immunity is adapting to its presence. I don't think it's an indication that I was starting to cure myself of this disease. Just like Irisia, it might take me over without any kind of indication. It just proves that I still don't know anything at all about how this works.

Occasionally, I'll find myself feeling a sharp cold from within, and I occasionally circulate pyro-attributed mana throughout my body to negate it. It's one of the tricks that I learned from the manticore, and it has kept me alive for all this time. Probably, the infection is getting affected by the heat as well, helping it to stay dormant.

Still, I don't have any kind of luck today, but I wasn't about to give up.

The next night, I tried finding her again, and the next day after that, and the following days. At this rate, I might be able to find her, but she might already be completely turned. No matter how much effort I put in, I still couldn't find her, until I found the cave where I first met her.

I entered, despite the cold, I mysteriously started sweating harder than before. I felt like it was just yesterday that I was found there as a baby, so small she could squeeze me in her paws. The crater she made is still there, the corpses now just fragments of bones. There were traces of rot here and there, but they are already tattered and easy to kill off. Probably, she did this to them.

I ventured forward and finally found her, stagnant, looking at the empty wall in front of her. Her body had changed drastically, and I didn't recognize her at first glance. Her body had become so thin that I could clearly see her bones, and her fur was close to fading away. It might be too late now. I just hoped that when I saw her, something would change. Maybe, I just wanted to see her one last time.

A sigh left my mouth, and I turned on my back, feeling all the weight on my shoulders about to crush me to the ground. Then I heard the manticore speak...

"P-please... kill... me... Help... me."

It seemed like a bit of herself was retained inside her rotting body. I see... she was suffering... I needed to help her. I didn't want to walk away knowing that she's in pain. It was painful for me, but this was the only way. I had to have the resolve to do what was necessary.