Vol.2 – Chapter 10 – Saving the Damsel in Distress

Huh? Err... My head is a little too foggy... Maybe it's because I just woke up, which is not my cup of tea. Waking up is such a pain in the butt, not just because every time I fall asleep, I remember my past life that I wanted to relive... even if, in that place, I was just a sickly kid. It's because that is the only world I could be with Hanami, the only solace in this ever-painful thing called life.

I realized that even if you are given a second chance in life, reincarnated into your ideal world brimming with hope and dreams, it couldn't replace the people that hold a special place in one's heart. It will remain as a hole, a deep dark hole that swallows everything I put on it... nothing could fill it, nothing just can.

Opening my eyes and observing my surroundings, I realized I was stuck... I AM STUCK!? This position! It's... It's... It's so lewd!! What's lewd, by the way? I keep hearing people joking around it when people are stuck in a washing machine, which is kind of moronic, and boy, they will say 'Step bro, I'm stuck!!', it's hilarious.

Looking at my surroundings... everything seems to be metallic... I recognize this place; I came here to investigate with Shasha in the past. It's one of the space shuttles used by early humans to travel to other galaxies millions of light-years away! Yes, indeed, humans exist now in other galaxies!

This shuttle is heavily damaged, however, it seems like it got attacked by Lunarists before it could even launch. Lunarist huh, I don't have any idea what they are, but they seem to be related to Fragmentors, the evil Arnold Schwarzenegger of this world.

Huh...? Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something important? Huh? Why am I... Why am I crying? No, I can't stop the flow of tears... I don't even know what I'm crying for.

"Pwuu."

Somehow, while I was crying for an unknown reason, a mellow man approached me, pulling a fish tied in a rope. It spoke on its tongue, tilting his head as if trying to understand what I'm crying for.

"I'm... fine, thank you for your concern," I said that gratefully. Then my stomach suddenly grumbled.

"Pwuu?" The mellow man picked up the fish he was carrying and offered it to me. But I shall refuse.

"Sorry, I don't eat things raw. But I appreciate it, thank you."

"Pwuu pwuu..." The mellow man gobbled up the fish in front of me in one go that nothing is left, not even bones.

"Haha... enjoy your meal," I said feeling a slight irk even though I am the one who refused it. Suddenly, the mellow man did something out of my imagination. He started positioning himself in a squat position and tensed his body, trying to squeeze something out of his butt.

"PWUUU!!"

"What are you doing!?" I was in a state of shock; the mellow guy started doing his business in front of me! I struggled to release myself from getting stuck, pushing my body out of the hole in the wall, but no matter what I did, I just hurt myself. What kind of torture is this!?

"Pwaahhh," the mellow man breathed out in contentment; he finally released it! His pixelated descendants! No... wait a minute, it's not feces but a mushroom! How the... so this is where all the mushrooms came from! The mellow man could poop out mushrooms!

Then the mellow man picked it up and offered it to me, "Pwuu..." you're cute but I'm not going to eat that! That came inside your body, you know!

"I... I want fish! I don't eat veggies!"

That was my life being stuck on the wall and all that; lucky for me that these small guys are kind of adorable and kind, feeding me without seeking something in return. A week has gone by, and I was still in here, stuck, with all my efforts resulting in nothing. Man, I'm bored... I want to play something. Sigh...

Then something happened; I heard heavy footsteps coming in. The weight doesn't seem similar to mellows because their weight is similar to big marshmallows, but these footsteps are similar to the weight of a humanoid... Is it my prince in shining armor? The metal door opened; I saw a goblin.

I don't know what came into my mind that I spoke to him in a rather silly way; I feel like I knew him even before meeting him here. I wonder why... my head is too foggy, but I think I spoke to him before... What is it...? Underground... where I was hiding while bleeding to death... I can't remember!! But I feel like I could trust him... He's different from the rest of the goblins. Oops, I stutter, let me take that back for a moment.

NO! HE'S MORE EVIL THAN THE REST OF THE GOBLINS!!

He ends up staying here for a while and grilling his fish there in front of me for a reason that I didn't know. But it's really irritating me! The smell... I'm so hungry! I haven't eaten something cooked and ordinary for so long. Raw fish is too bitter; I don't want to eat them anymore!

Oh no... my drool is starting to fall off! If I don't stop it, he will notice me.

"Do you want some?"

! NO! He noticed me! He picked up a skewered fish that is still piping hot and pointed it at me. I could smell it; it smells superb that the sides of my tongue are bubbling. I have no choice but to swallow my pride and nod... I nod intensely.

He walked towards me, "Fine, open your mouth wide... Ahh..." he said so I opened it as wide as I could. At last, a cooked fish! So, after all, god is real huh. If he isn't, then why did his little angel come from heaven just to feed me.

Tears started swelling on the side of my eyes, the fish is coming closer, closer to my mouth when suddenly, HE ATE IT!!

"You ate it!" I blurted suddenly.

He munched it in front of me! The bones... the bones are creaking... His saliva is splattering out of his mouth like a maniac, a savage beast. He... He... grinned at me and looked at me like I'm a pest... No... He betrayed me... Just why did you do this to me... _sob_

"What? Did you think I will share this with you? Freeze to death, bitch," he said holding a middle finger in front of my face. This goblin! Did I do something wrong? Why is he so angry at me? Maybe, he's just angry at women in general. Is this what they call male puberty?

Then he just started vomiting like a drunkard; I wanted to laugh at his face only if that puke is a normal puke but a disgusting green slimy puke full of maggots!

"YUCK!" I screamed in horror at what I witnessed. Those maggots are so big! It's bigger than my thumb. What the hell is he even eating!?

"Don't yuck yuck me; you're the one who did this to me!"

"Like I said, I don't know anything about this Darth Vader and his last Airbender!" he just kept blaming and calling me the evil space lord that has an army of bald monks! I don't know anything about those things!

"It's the Rotten Queen and the Visage of... Ugh... Whatever..."

"Come on, release me! I can't feel my ass anymore!" I don't want to get stuck in here anymore; my body is going stiff! I'm going to die like this if nothing is done. "I want to eat cooked food; I want to sleep in bed; I want to walk around and feel the air... I don't want to get stuck in the same room doing the same thing over and over... If that's the case, then why am I even alive in the first place...? Why did they give me a second chance? It's just so unfair."

I bit my lips to suppress the sudden outburst; I didn't realize before it's too late that I am saying something so embarrassing but truth be told, those were my real feelings. And somehow, I touched the goblin's empathy that he picked up another grilled fish and extended it towards me.

"Fine, eat this..." he said, but I won't get fooled of letting him feed me, I will take it with my own hands and eat it with my own mouth. I'm gonna...

He ate it...

"AGHH! You fiend! You're evil! DIE! I'm not going to forgive you! You're going to pay for this!" he ate it before I could even take it! Is he Hitler? Is he Satan himself? I don't know but pure rage took my sanity!

Then he waved at me and threw the stick he used as a skewer in my face, "See ya never then...," this, what a disrespectful brat! But I need him to release me out of here; I need to stop him!

"W-Wait! I'm joking! I'll do anything, just let me out of here... Please" it hurts my pride, but what choices do I have.

"Then, what would you offer in return?"

Damn this goblin! Would it hurt you to help someone regardless of benefits? Did your mother teach you about conventional ethics and how to treat women right? I have no choice, do I? Fine, I knew what he wants, I could see it in his lascivious eyes. I bit my lips and uttered it even if it will hurt my dignity!

"My body!"

Wait! He's seriously leaving! He's not interested in my body? Impossible! How could this be...? Even a goblin is not interested in me...? Eh? The realization is damaging my self-esteem... I have to redeem myself before my pride and dignity deteriorate!

"W-Wait! You're sick, right? I have a friend who could help you out. Her name is Shasha; she's a clever alchemist from the organization. I haven't seen her since, but if we work together, we could find her whereabouts. She could cure you, I promise!"

The goblin paused for a moment before looking at me, "Fine," he said. Right... right... Health is better than beauty right? Even if I'm a beauty, he will, of course, prioritize his health first before anything else... That makes sense. So that's the reason, that's absolutely, undeniably the reason why.

The goblin then starts stabbing the metal fruitlessly, but no matter how much force he used on it, the wall is not even making a dent. "That's not going to work; it's a metal made to withstand big crashes. You can't break it even with magic enhancement."

The goblin sighed irritably, then he moves to the other side of the wall where my rear is exposed. I bet he will be outraged at what he will see-

"Goodness! What the hell is wrong with you!? I will never going to touch that thing!!"

Oh no... he saw it! "I'm so sorry! I wasn't able to wash it in this position," my arms are both on the side where my torso is, so it's not possible for me to wash it!

He then tried pushing me out of the wall.

"Hup!" ahh! My hips are going to break! I can't do this!

"Just why the hell are you stuck in here!?" the goblin asked but even I didn't know why.

"You won't understand."

He then starts pulling me with my legs, "Ow- ow- ow, ouch!" my arms, however, are in the way. It's impossible, how did I even end up here?

He stopped pulling and pushing me forcefully; he walked in front of me and sighed. "I give up. I need to wash my hands," his hands are both pixelated pitch black and smelly... I really feel sorry for him; I could see in his eyes his disappointment of me as a woman... I will never ever going to get married at this rate. He also obtained my staff and put it besides me.

Before he could move away, I hugged him so that he wouldn't escape. I begged him as desperately as I could, "NO! NO! NO! YOU SHOULD NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GONNA LET ME DOWN, NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESSERT ME!!" I said, attempting to move his heart, "You are my only hope! Please, help me!"

"Then what should I do!?"

I don't know either! Wait... I have an idea.

"There's one way using bumble honey extract," I started explaining. "With that applied on my waist below, I could easily slip through a tight hole like this." I am slim after all; I could definitely pass through this as long as I have that item.

"Where can I find it?"

"In the highest mountain of this floor, but beware, the path is not easy." Yes, it was never easy as far as I remembered, "You need a way to move past the cannibal gnomes, then defeat the elder mountain dragon living in there. Of course, it is not possible with your current strength; you need the power of the rumored legendary cursed weapon somewhere on this floor... but to get that cursed weapon, you need to defeat the black knight... wait! Why are you leaving!? Wait!"

He left me all alone without hearing me out... How cruel. Boys should do everything to save a woman even if it costs them their life!