Vol.2 – Chapter 15 – Put my Body back Together

I am becoming a monster at heart. I knew this after I saw Fielma's face, and the first thing I thought about is how I won't care if she died. I wonder what she'll feel if she knows this, if she could still smile if I say this in front of her face.

"Sempai!!" She runs after my head with a wide smile on her face.

THEN SHE FUCKING KICKS MY HEAD AWAY!! WTF!!

"OUCH!!"

"How the hell are you still alive!!?" Fielma asks with an enraged tone. She puts both of her hands on her waist. "What are those people!? I don't understand why they want to kill me. You didn't just break my property but also involved me in some criminal stuff!"

"Calm down; you won't understand it even if I explain especially if you don't cool yourself down," I try to ease her down.

She breathes in deeply, then exhales as loud as she could. She puts a thumbs up to her face. "I'm fine now!" she says, putting a wide smile on her face.

I'm surprised that she could do that with all the guts and gore around us. Just look at my body parts scattered everywhere! Look, she's even stepping on my liver.

I don't think any normal person could smile at that.

"First things first, put my body back together," I say, and she nods.

With a disgruntled face, she lays my scattered body parts down together like puzzle pieces. She contorts her face in disgust with the pus squirting to her hand when she heaves my organs out.

I told her to put the pieces of my organs together inside my stomach. I could tell by the motion of her hands the carefulness not to mess things up.

And she does more than what I told her to do. In the small bag tied to her waist, she takes out a needle and a tube coiled with thread. She snaps the thread with her teeth and continues to put the tip inside the hole on the needle.

She starts to stitch my body back together in place. What a diligent girl.

While she's doing this, I tell her what she wanted to know. I am also interested in why the Visage wants her dead. There must be a reason why they want to kill her than turn her into an infected when, in their own words, they treat Fielma as 'strong.'

"They call themselves the Visage of the Frost... Can you recall something about them?"

Maybe if I say it, she'll remember why. She might be the tool I need to survive against them. However, Fielma simply shakes her head, unable to remember anything.

I frown, "Do you have amnesia?"

"Eh? I don't think so... I could still remember my childhood and my other..." she suddenly halts.

"Other?"

"It's nothing!" she turns her gaze to her sides. "You won't understand."

She's wrong. I may not be able to comprehend her circumstances, but I am not going to understand it more if she doesn't speak her mind and let me listen.

"Well then, let's do this. Tell me everything about you, and I'll tell you everything about me. Having a common understanding between both of us is the first step in forming our relationship. I feel like we will be bound together for a long time until we resolve our Visage problem, so this temporary relationship of ours is necessary."

"Temporary? I told you I will follow you until you pay me for my staff, even if that will be forever."

"I should apologize, but that won't happen. You see, I was killed by my former comrades in the past, so trusting someone in the long term would be problematic."

"Huh?" Fielma tilts her head with a finger on her chin.

I sigh, not wanting to remember the past events that kept haunting me in my dreams. "I am murdered by my best friend and fiancé, then sacrificed to a devil. After that, I found myself in this body, a goblin. I was a former human."

I thought at first that she won't believe what I just said, but she simply nods and smiles.

"I see..." her eyes look above with longing desires, as the sky is engulfed with pitch black darkness invaded by the stars. "I am also a reincarnation as well. This is not my real appearance. This is not who I really am. I am much more ugly and pitiful than this. And I am not from this world."

Not from this world?

"I lived in a world where there is no magic, in a world called Earth, in a country called Japan. I died from sickness, and as soon as I know it, I am conceived into the world as a daughter of a noble."

So she is reincarnated as well?

"So we're the same." The only difference between her and me was that she was given a second chance with a healthy body, while I, cursed by a devil, have to suffer as a goblin.

"It's like the work of fate, isn't it?" Fielma chuckles. Then she looks at me with a downhearted smile. "Do you feel like sometimes, you aren't yourself?"

"Huh?"

"I-I'm sorry. I asked something unnecessary. I just feel like I am not like my previous self anymore. I am born with a new identity, a new family, so it's true that I am myself. But how about my past self...? Am I still her? Or am I simply living based on the ghost of her memories?"

My eyes widen. I haven't considered an idea like that before that maybe I am not the person I used to be. I am not Theo but just a goblin with his memories.

"I-It's a weird question, isn't it?" she nervously scratches her cheeks, but I don't think it's a weird idea. I am just revolted by the thought that I am just a goblin.

"You see, I really hated this body. Look at me, I am butchered to pieces like a pig. This body is too weak, too inconvenient, and ugly, but somehow, I accepted who I am as me. But I am neither just a goblin, not even a ghost of my past self. I am me, I am the continuity of both lives and experiences. I am a bundle of memories by the man named Theo and the goblin called Aku. And I refuse to be just a monster."

"I see..." Fielma smiles widely, "Thank you for answering such a weird question."

There's no need to thank me; I am just stating my mere subjective opinion that could possibly be wrong.

After Fielma's done stitching my body, I stood up, though I start feeling my internals churning in pain. All the damage dealt to my body begins to torment me, but I am used to it at this point.

"You could move your body!?"

"I am an infected. I am like a zombie at this point. Also, the humans who tried to kill you are mutant zombies as well created by the Queen of Infected. Be careful not to let them bite you or you'll turn the same way as them."

"Wait! That doesn't make any sense!"

"But it's true. My goal is to cure my disease and return to my hometown. How about you, what's your goal?"

I asked this since I am still not aware of her motives. I don't want to accompany myself with people with hidden agendas and those without any goals at all since they are the types to be controlled by sudden whims.

Fielma, at first glance, looks like the type to be an airhead, so it won't surprise me if she doesn't have a goal at all. But her smug face and creepy smile told me otherwise.

"Forget that I asked."

"Wait! Please let me say it!" she pleaded. I don't think there's any harm in it, but I don't want to listen. She steps back and puts her hands on her waist. With a smug look, she declares her intention. "My goal is to find my comrades, reform the Chronic Backpain with me as the leader, and find the legendary flower, the Blue Plops!"

Huh? A legendary flower? That's not even worth the ambition.

She continues talking, pointing her index to me. "You said that you want to cure your illness. I have a comrade who could help with that