The people in my head are so funny!

"Wait a second. I'm the maker of the game! I can just tell you both the number and the hint myself!" Kimei had an epiphany.

Chiharu paused. The red light in her eyes turned off.

"Won't that ruin the game?" She had to ask.

"You're just angry you can't win anymore!"

"No! I thought that... Whatever, I don't care!"

She pulled Henry away from the crocodile-infested lake and back inside the school. By throwing him on the ground.

“What a waste of time.” Chiharu left.

"Another win for Dark! Fighter! Kimei!”

“I’m sorry but I have to agree with Chiharu here.” Henry picked himself up.

“That’s not true! I think we all learnt something today!"

“Like what?”

“I’m sure you’d be able to get some moral about the futility of war if you really tried.”

“The only moral I see is the futility of this rite… What’s the next hint?”

“Right!” She pulled out a notepad from the back of her belt and began looking through the pages. “The next one should be the… Ninth number! We’re almost done!”

“Dear lolies above I thought I would die sooner than reaching this far!”

“Listen, initiate! The eighth number was… Eight! What a coincidence!”

“Right…”

“What awaits you next is not for the faint of heart. If you have high blood pressure and/or heart conditions, we advise you to get off the ride.”

“It hasn’t even been five minutes since I was hung over a crocodile infested lake. I think I’m fine.”

“Hidden in the most darkest placest of the school, hides your next hint!”

“Want to try that sentence one more time?”

“No. The eternal test of courage shall test your… Let’s just go to the basement!”

“Wait, you’re coming with me? Never mind, please come with me. I don’t know if I have the mental strength to walk around the school again.”

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t let you go through the test alone. Also, I know a shortcut.”

“Thank you! Hopefully I learn enough shortcuts so that I never have to walk the ““normal”” halls again.”

“You can’t use this shortcut if I’m not here, sorry.”

“Why not?”

“It’s in the girl’s bathroom.”

They quickly reached the restroom doors, after only eight hundred steps, and stopped. Kimei entered first to make sure that no one else was inside, then gave Henry the ok. He was slightly nervous about entering the girl’s bathroom, mostly because he was going with a girl and the memories of the pixelated stories he had read tainted his mind.

“Hurry up!”

Henry was pressured into entering, and to his surprise, the girl’s bathroom was identical to the boy’s bathroom, down to the urinals on the walls.

“Why are you spacing out?”

“I thought the girl’s bathroom would look different.”

“You watch too much anime. C’mon, before anyone else comes in.”

Kimei opened the stall furthest away from the door and removed one of the tiles from the floor. She revealed a trapdoor that when opened would also lower a ladder. Going down that ladder for a minute or so brought them directly to the basement. It was easy to recognize the basement, on account of the gothic architecture, the lit candles used as illumination, and the large windows that only showed they were indeed under the ground.

“How does the school maintain all of this?!” Henry’s voice echoed slightly.

“It doesn’t! How the basement stays intact is one of the seven mysteries of Kanzen High. Did you know this school has seven mysteries?”

“I’m surprised there’s only seven.”

“The basement is the first,” Kimei grabbed a conveniently placed and conveniently already lit oil lantern, “we’re about to see the second one.”

The hallways of the basement were cold and damp. They contained all sorts of horror cliches, from gigantic cobwebs to sleeping bats to creepy dolls sitting on old wooden barrels. Henry swore he heard a wolf howling at some point, but Kimei reassured him it was impossible. Henry did not feel reassured.

“So, how does helping me fit into your lore to become the leader of the world?”

“It would be too complex for your simple mind to understand. I am thirty-three steps ahead of the game.”

“Right...”

Suddenly, a blood-curdling scream came out of nowhere!

“W-what was that?!” Henry grasped Kimei’s armored arm like a kitten holding on a branch in a motivational poster.

“Don’t worry about that, it’s probably from the Pains Beyond Comprehension club. The shrieks are the main reason they had to put it in the basement.”

“This club bit is getting out of hand…”

“We’re here! This is the eternal test of courage!”

They stopped in front of a door closed by a rugged curtain. Below the sign that titled the room Test of Courage, a smaller one described it as a haunted house, with an entrance fee of 100 yen. Signed by the class 3 - W. It was the typical attraction classes would set up during the culture festival, with the students acting as creatures of the night and scaring whoever entered. But the culture festival was far from being in place.

“This exhibition was set up years ago,” Kimei put the lantern next to her face, “Some say not long after the school was founded. It was the most popular activity at the culture festival of the time. The ghosts and monsters looked very realistic, and everyone found it terrifying. A real success. It came the time that the festival ended, and it was then that the test was supposed to be dismantled. But, when the teachers went to look for the students, no one could find who set it up. You see, it says it was made by class 3 – W right there, but at the time, the school only reached up to V! No one knew who the students inisde the costumes were. Since anyone that entered was scared away, the school couldn't do anything about the test other than lock the doors. As time passed, people grew older and forgot, but the infested room still stands nowadays. The school doesn't want to aknowledge it, hoping no one finds their way to the basement, yet some say they have seen their friends enter and never leave...
Welcome to the eternal test of courage, second of the seven mysteries! What do you think?”

“Yeah, ghosts seem like a logical next step for this trial. Why couldn’t they just speak to the students managing it?”

“They did try to speak with the, supposedly, students acting as ghosts, but they couldn’t get them to collaborate or even leave the room. Let’s say… they never broke out of character.”

“And the next paper is inside…” Henry sighed.

“I couldn’t not use this for the trial!”

“Fine. I don’t have a hard time believing it’s scary, I don’t have a hard time believing anything today, but if you’ve gone inside and back out, it’s at least not deadly.”

“I would never go inside on my own! There are actual ghosts in there!”

“You didn’t? How did you set up the paper then?”

“I threw the hint inside and immediately ran away. I figured the ghosts would do the rest.”

Henry looked at her with shaking eyes. But before letting fear take over his body, and bowels, he wanted to at least make sure that he had a proper reason to faint. He walked up to the entrance. If the ghosts didn’t exist… That was already too scary. The ghosts didn’t exist, so the paper should still be on the ground.

He opened the curtain.

On the narrow floor of the entrance was not a pink piece of paper, but a black mass of hair, so long you couldn't see the head it was supposed to be attached to. It retracted into the shadows the moment the lantern’s light hit it.

“I’ll see you in five minutes.” Henry said, before collapsing to the ground.

“C’mon Henry, a little bit of sentient hair and you’re already giving up?” She grabbed him and pulled him to his feet. “What will you do if a monster starts chasing us?”

“What a way to motivate me!”

“It’s time to get serious! Now grab this lamp and go inside!”

“Why don’t you go inside first!?”

“Are you crazy? There's monsters inside!”

“You hypocrite!”

Their bickering could’ve gone on for ages, and the ghosts knew that. That is why they sent a cold wind that blew off the lantern’s candle, leaving them both in the hands of complete darkness.

The two screamed in perfect unison, matching in both volume and pitch.

“Why aren’t you turning the lantern back on?!” Kimei screamed.

“I have no idea how to use a lantern! Do you think I live in 1500s Europe?!”

“You need a spark! Open the top, I should be able to turn it on.”

Henry could not see what was happening, but after he lifted the glass of the lantern and gave Kimei the go, he could hear the sound of two rocks hitting against each other.

“You have flints with you!?”

“Yes but forget about them! They’re spoilers for your next trial.” With every knock, her face was lit for a split second.

“At this point I just hope it’s not a sacrificial ritual.”

“Hmm…” The sparks stopped.

“Stop getting ideas and turn the lamp on!”

Following his wish, the sparks burst into a flame, giving them the ability to barely see where they were.

“Actually, turn it back off.”

The reason for Henry’s brave remark was the fact that the light showed they were now in a different room.

“Where… How did we get here?”

It looked like they were in someone’s house. Or at least, what used to be someone’s house. A one room apartment. There was a small kitchen to their left. Dirty dishes were still in the sink, but a thick layer of mold had grown on them. On their left, balanced on a stack of books and magazines, an old television, the kind that would buzz when turned on. Turning around, their feet swiped the layer of dirt, bags, and dirty towels on the ground. A blanket was put over the thin mattress cramped in the only free corner of the room. It was small and cramped, enough to make anyone claustrophobic. Noticeably, there was no door.

“What a depressing room.” Kimei said.

“It doesn’t look that different from my old room…” Henry mumbled.

“I don’t see any door or window… What do we do?”

“Scream?”

“Is that the best you got?”

“It’s the only thing I got.”

“C’mon, we're in a haunted house made by students. This must be some sort of escape room. Maybe there is a lever somewhere.”

She walked to the sink, and it began to leak. She couldn’t be sure if it was because of the darkness, but the water that dripped on the mold was pitch black. The water came out faster and faster, and the dishes disappeared into darkness as the sink got full.

“Maybe I’ll try somewhere else.”

She turned to the television and tried to check behind it, but she was stopped. The device turned on, displaying nothing but the gray chaos of static.

“…”

She approached the bed, but it sank into the trash like an old boat in hungry waves.

“I think the ghosts are trying to tell me something.” Kimei's unmatched sense of intuition sparked.

“Yeah, that we smell bad and they want us to leave.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be scared?”

“Humor is how I deal with all of my emotions.”

“Does your humor have any plan on how to get out?”

Henry knew perfectly what his sense of humor was telling him to do, but he also knew that he had developed an unfortunate sense of self-deprecation that often fueled his jokes.

“I’m not responsible for what is going to happen.”

Henry blew out the lantern, letting the darkness surround them once more.

“I do appreciate your adventurous spirit, but I think we have enough spirits in the room already.”

She clanked her rocks again, and the flame lit up to show yet another different room.

This time they were on the bridge of a ship, sailing on roaring waters. The sea was like an angry swarm of bees and the poor fishing boat that dared challenge it had its bow covered in honey. The boat was the only obstacle in the rain’s journey, otherwise meeting the dark abyss of the ocean, after departing from the dark abyss of the sky. The bridge was flooded, unable to withstand the attack on both fronts. Occasional thunders were the only thing giving Henry and Kimei a glimpse of the roaring waves.

Of course, they were still inside a room. The scene just described was merely painted on the walls and reenacted through the décor.

Except for the rain and thunder, those were real.

“I’ve got to say, Class 3 – W outdid itself!” Kimei shouted, mostly so that Henry could hear her in spite of the harsh wind.

“I don’t know if this is better. Want to try searching for a way out?” Henry screamed in return.

“I can’t swim!”

Kimei blew out the lantern, which had managed to stay on despite the heavy rain and strong winds and water splashing from the side of the boat. The weather stopped as soon as the flame was extinguished.

Red surrounded them the moment the lantern was back on. The pavement and the walls and the ceiling were mixed together in a horror show of flesh. Raw, soggy, squishy walls of meat with bloody blemishes and bulging bumps. Bright veins coated the room, pulsating with a slow and faint hum. Tuft of black hair, remnants of skin, familiar-looking bones, drafts of limbs, and organ-like structures. The room was everything the insides of an animal could contain, blended around in unrecognizable shapes. Their feet sunk into the flesh below.

Despite the fear that froze his limbs, Henry managed to put a hand over his mouth to stop the gagging.

“Never mind the room… I think we changed genres entirely. Did I already tell you how I prefer slice of life?”

“Look!”

Unlike the previous two, this room had a way out. A mushy corridor laid with teeth.

“You know, it’s funny. We were looking for a way out, and now that we have one, I regret asking.”

“Do you think this is real flesh?” Kimei boldly stepped closer to the possible exit.

“I think I don’t want to know!”

“And those teeth, they are way too big and sharp to be human.”

“Ignorance is bliss!!”

“I guess we have to go through the corridor.”

“I’m fine with trying out more rooms. I’ll turn off the light.”

“Don’t! What if the next ones don’t have an exit?”

“Still better than this.”

The room began to agitate. The shape of a hand appeared on a wall as if pushing from the other side. The hand pushed more and more, until it stretched the flesh and managed to put out the outline of an arm. A big smile appeared on the wall above it.

“The teeth corridor is a wonderful idea!” Henry began running.

“What a well-done effect!” Kimei was pushed into running.

Blood splashed around with each step of their frenzied run. Henry’s run was frenzied; Kimei’s run was more like a light jog enjoying the sights.
They turned a corner, where a vampire yuki-onna was waiting for them in a white mist. A terrifying scream later, Henry’s, they turned around and ran the opposite way, where a zombie werewolf jumped out with a growl. They ran past it and kept going without a direction. But alas, their fleeing attempt came to an end when a new monster came from above and sent them both to the ground-flesh. It was a humanoid figure made up of countless faces, but with only one pair of eyes and mouth that kept swapping between which face to use.

“Your journey ends here.” One of its faces echoed.

“W-what are you?”

“I’m the declining birth rate.”

Henry screamed.

“I noticed that the other two were mixes of classic monsters. How come?” Kimei asked with student-like wonder.

“We spent most of the budget on the flesh.” The eyes and mouth were sucked back inside the body before sprouting on a different face. “We put the monsters together to save on the costumes.”

“Smart! Their costumes were very realistic.” She felt inspired.

“Do you want to see them…” The declining-birth-rate-monster raised its hand towards Kimei to make its mouth and eyes sprout closer to her, “Face to face?”

“I’d be delighted to!”

“I think that was supposed to be a pun-based threat…” Henry whispered to her.

Regardless of their intention, the vampire yuki-onna and the zombie werewolf appeared out of the flesh next to them.

“Amazing!” Kimei was amazed, “It’s hard to show that someone is a vampire and yuki-onna hybrid from the clothes alone, especially since the former looks like a simple woman, but you managed to mix the two seamlessly by making the kimono bat themed!”

“I can absorb body heat and freeze your skin with a simple touch.” The vampire yuki-onna's voiced oozed out of her mouth.

“Classic vampire! And the zombie werewolf! It is so cool to see an actual wolf skull in that half of your face. Many people mistakenly use raccoon skulls without realizing the difference, but you clearly value the attention to details.”

“Touch the blood,” the zombie werewolf growled, “It’s real!”

“Woah!” She happily dipped her finger in the massive, gaping wound the zombie werewolf had in its side and stirred it around.

“I think I’m with the wrong crowd...” Said Henry, the only one wearing normal clothes.

“On the contrary, we value your presence here.” The vampire yuki-onna spoke, and the air turned cold. “We wouldn’t be able to have fun without a screamer.” She smiled.

“You’re so welcome…”

“What about you,” The face monster asked Kimei with one of its faces, “What are you supposed to be?”

“I’m glad you asked, Debira!" Kimei turned to Henry, "Declining-Birth-Rate, get it?" She smiled enthusiastically. Henry was not able to react. 

"I am Dark! Fighter! Kimei! A secret alien creature that has taken on a human form to conquer the planet and rule the galaxy!”

“That is… cool.” You can guess it was the vampire yuki-onna who said that. “What do you do to people?”

“She convinced me to go through this rite where I need to collect papers. I was almost eaten alive by alligators and yet I’m still doing it.” Henry was secretly looking for pity.

“Savage.” It was the zombie werewolf’s turn.

“By collecting papers, do you mean this one?” Debira spat out the pink paper with a big eight drawn on.

“Exactly this one!” Kimei grabbed it. “Thank you so much!”

“The least I can do for a fellow monster!”

They both laughed. Henry began questioning whether he still wanted Gimei’s number, but it was too late to back down now.

“If we have the paper, we can leave, right?”

“Already?” The only ear of the zombie werewolf flopped down.

“Yes, sorry, we have to finish this rite before the school closes.” Kimei explained. “But I promise we’ll visit you again!”

“We?” Henry looked at her.

“How do we get out?”

Debira smiled. Its face sprouted next to the lantern, before blowing out the light.

Turning it on again, they were back outside, in the schoolyard. In full daylight.

POSTFACE

- (UN)RELIABLE INFORMATION

Culture festival: A festival of culture. A periodic commemoration of the qualities of society. A day or time of celebration, marked by feasting, ceremonies, or other observances dedicated to that which is excellent in the arts, letters, manners, scholarly pursuits, etc. Child labor but ok.

Yuki-onna: A monster from Japanese mythology. If yuki means snow, and onna means woman, what could yuki-onna mean? That’s right! She’s the counterpart to the snowman! *insert joke about snowballs*

Kimono: Something to wear. That’s the literal translation of the word, so I have to assume a swim ring that looks like a unicorn also counts as a kimono.