Love Amidst The Fireworks

The week following Christmas had been fairly quiet. We had no school, so I had been spending most of it lazing around at home. Today had mostly been progressing the same as the last few days had gone. I was slumped out across the sofa with my arm dangling loosely to the side, clutching hold of my phone. I had been hoping at least one of my friends would have contacted me to put an end to this boredom. I lifted my phone up to check my messages again, but I didn't expect to see anything new. It was just out of habit at this point.

Still nothing, I sighed to myself as I let my arm droop back down.

“Cheer up Nii-san, I'm sure she'll call you eventually.”

I looked up to see Hikari, who had just entered the room.

“Just stop it, would you? I'm really not in the mood.”

“Hey now,” she moaned, plopping down on the edge of the sofa, “I may love teasing you, but I really am hoping it works out, you know?”

“Yeah, of course you are.”

“I'm serious,” she insisted, “I'd love to see you get a girlfriend.”

I frowned at her in disbelief, “really?”

“Yeah, it'd be like I had an older sister to chat with.”

“I guess I never really thought about it like that.”

“And then we could laugh at all your bad habits together.”

I threw a cushion at her playfully.

“Kidding! I'm kidding!” She giggled.

Just as I was about to go in for a second attack, we were interrupted by a ping coming from my phone.

“It's her!” My face lit up as I read Iwasaki's name on the screen.

Hikari squealed in delight as I sat up to read the message. It was an invitation to join a group chat with the other club members. I hit the accept button immediately.

“Hey Ren!” Shinohara typed out a quick welcome.

“We were just discussing where we should go while we've still got time off.” Iwasaki posted, catching me up to speed.

“Oh, cool. Sounds good,” I typed back.

Hikari was still hovering over me, trying to catch a glimpse of the screen. I shifted myself away, and she threw me a disappointed look. I ignored her as I turned my attention back to the newest message that had come through.

“I heard that they're putting on a fireworks festival at the local shrine for new years,” suggested Nakamura.

“That sounds fun!”

“Yeah, I'm game for that,” I agreed.

“It's settled then. Hopefully all of us will actually show up this time,” Inaba joked.

***

“Do you think the girls will dress up in kimonos, Ren?” Shinohara asked me.

We were both waiting underneath the archways at the entrance to the shrine.

“I don't know. Probably not,” I replied.

“Yeah, maybe. I bet they'd look good though. It'd really suit them.”

“You’re just hoping to see Inaba all dressed up,” I teased.

“Ya caught me,” he grinned back.

I may have been joking, but deep down I was just as curious to see the girls as he was. I checked the group chat once again, but there was nothing new posted. The last message had been from the girls saying they were all heading over together but were running late. It meant we still had plenty of time left to kill.

“Are you really okay with not pursuing her?” I asked.

He clapped his hand on my shoulder reassuringly.

“Yeah, no need to worry about me. It would never work out anyway, we're just too different people,” he paused for a moment, before adding, “I'm just happy to have been her friend.”

I felt conflicted seeing the forced smile he was wearing. He seemed like he was content with how things had played out between them, but I doubted how truthful his words really were. I knew that, if it were me that had to bury away my feelings like that, it would be tearing me up inside. In fact, I doubt I would cope with it at all. I just wish there was a way I could slap some sense into my friend, and get him to be more honest, not just towards me, but to himself. Though I guess I wasn't exactly in any place to criticise him, when I hadn't even been able to tell Iwasaki how I felt either.

Shinohara looked like he was about to say something else, but right at that moment the girls arrived, breaking our line of thought.

“Hey!” They called out to us.

I looked up and my eyes grew wide. Shinohara's guess had been right on the money. All three of them had dressed up for the occasion. It was hard to take my eyes off Iwasaki, who was wearing a yellow kimono with a floral pattern. She looked absolutely stunning. Next to her stood Inaba, who had a refined grace about her with her hair tied up in a bun and dressed up in a black kimono adorned with a cherry blossom design. Nakamura was bringing up the rear, her own outfit a very striking shade of red.

“So, how do we look?” Nakamura asked with a sly wink.

"Wow, you girls look amazing!" Shinohara commented.

“Yeah,” was all I managed to add. I was speechless.

Iwasaki giggled, “you were right, Aya-chan. This was totally worth it, their reactions were priceless!”

“The boys never disappoint,” Nakamura laughed back.

I felt a sudden hot flush rise in my cheeks once I realised that they had only made the effort to dress up just so that they could tease us.

“C'mon,” I grumbled, “let's head inside already.”

We walked into the shrine grounds together, pausing occasionally to check out the services on offer. Nestled among the stalls that were offering food to hungry visitors, were various games that were awarding prizes to those that stood above the rest. I’d never been very good at these kinds of things, but that wasn't going to stop me from giving it my all tonight. With Iwasaki watching me, failure was not an option!

Only twenty minutes later, I was reluctantly accepting my defeat. Nakamura must have thought that my poor attempt to impress Iwasaki was hilarious, as she was trying her hardest to stifle a laugh.

“Come on, the others have already started to go on ahead,” she said, waving off my glares, “we should catch up with them.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled, turning away from the stall.

“Be careful, it's getting busier than I was expecting. We don't want to get separated.”

“Ouch!”

At that moment, someone had pushed past Iwasaki, slamming her forward. At least she had something to grab hold of to stabilise herself from falling over.

Namely, me.

“Oh, I'm so sorry, Tachi-kun.”

“Nah, it's okay,” I reassured her.

She broke away from me and straightened her robes, and I turned back to where Nakamura was, only to see that she had already gone on ahead somewhere. In fact, I couldn't see Inaba or Shinohara anymore either.

We’d been separated from the others.

“Can you see any of them anywhere?” I asked Iwasaki.

“No,” she worriedly shook her head.

I whipped out my phone to message the group chat. It was probably our best chance of finding them again. But my hopes were almost immediately crushed.

“Damn, my batteries dead,” I groaned, “do you have your phone on you?”

“Oh, no. I didn't think to bring mine.”

That was it then, there was no way we’d find them amongst this crowd.

“C’mon, we should at least get moving,” I suggested.

Iwasaki nodded and followed after me. Blushing furiously, she grabbed a hold of my sleeve.

“J-just in case we get separated too,” she explained.

I averted my gaze, feeling my own face starting to go red.

“G-good idea.”

Cautiously, we sifted through the sea of people. We moved along in single file, linked by each other's arm. Iwasaki was always two steps behind me. Sometimes I could feel her grip tighten on my sleeve when someone else pushed up against her and threatened to separate us.

Eventually, the crowd started to thin as we neared the edge of the shrine grounds. Taking this chance, we stopped to catch our breath.

“I didn't spot any of them anywhere,” Iwasaki frowned.

“Maybe we should try higher ground,” I said, pointing up to the stone steps that led further up the hill.

It was still a long shot, but there would at least be fewer people up there, and we'd be able to get a clearer view of the surrounding area.

Once we had climbed up the steps, Iwasaki stretched out her arms and sighed in relief.

“Ahh, it's so good to get away!”

I couldn't help but agree with her. Compared to the bustle of people down below, it was so tranquil here. There were the odd few people that had had the same idea as us, but otherwise we were alone up here.

“I wonder how long we have left before the fireworks start.”

“Probably not long now,” I guessed, “I doubt we're going to be able to regroup with the others in time.”

“Yeah, probably. At least we'll have a nice view from here.”

We confirmed that the grass wasn't damp before sitting down. We stayed there in silence, shoulder to shoulder, waiting for the fireworks to light up the sky. I glanced over at Iwasaki, who was gazing up at the stars. I couldn't help but think how beautiful she looked.

“Hey…” I began, not even sure of what it was I wanted to say.

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember, back in our first year…?”

Hang on, why was I doing this?

Was it that the intimate atmosphere had made me lower my guard? Was my earlier conversation with Shinohara still sitting in the back of my mind? Whatever it was, my mouth was moving independently of my mind, speaking words that I was scared of how she would react.

“There was this time when you stepped in to save this nervous kid from getting bullied.”

Iwasaki stayed quiet, listening intently to what I had to say.

“That was me,” I confessed, “I’ve never forgotten that day, not once. I like you a lot, Iwasaki-san. I've always liked you.”

She raised her hands to her mouth in surprise. It was too dark to tell, but I could have sworn that her eyes were starting to glisten as well.

“Hearing you say that means the world to me,” she responded, her voice starting to shake.

Could this be it? I had no idea how she was going to react to my confession, but lately I had been getting the impression that our feelings were mutual. I was scared of putting my hopes on the line, but one of us needed to break the stalemate we had reached. It felt like now was the right time. I wasn't quite sure what was supposed to happen next, whether this meant we were now an item or…

“…But I'm sorry, I just can't.”

“Huh?”

And just like that, my hopes sank.

Somewhere, off in the distance, a series of loud bangs went off. The resulting lights illuminated Iwasaki's face in a multitude of colours and I could now clearly make out the expression she had been making all this time. It was one full of pain and guilt. She was avoiding direct eye contact with me and was biting her lip as she repeated herself, only twisting the knife in further.

“I'm saying that I can't return your feelings, Tachi-kun.”