Alive Again

When Julie opened her eyes and sat up to move, she did so as a spirit. She felt as if she had woken up from a nightmare. The world around her now felt more crisp and real then the material world she’d died in, but it was still a world of aether. In the world of spirits there are more colors, and more dimensions. Julie sat and stared at it all, drinking it in.

From some strange direction, a figure made of haze and mist moved towards her. She held out her hand, and the man gently took it, lifting her up.

She laughed, and the sound of it danced in the air. “Reaper.” He felt familiar, and his hand was warm. “Have we met before?”

He eyed her from the hood of his black robes. “We have.” His voice was deep, soft and gentle.

She grinned. “Then, I’m happy to see you again.” Julie meant it. Although everything around her was an unfathomable unknown, the Reaper had to be a friend. He radiated it.

They moved together, the Reaper leading naturally. Julie did not think about controlling him, or using him. She did not think about kissing him, or owning him. Instead, serenity. Calm. Satisfaction. She bathed in it and closed her eyes. It was even better that way. She bobbed alongside the Reaper like a buoy in the ocean, tethered by her hand in his. She was light, floating in a sea of colors and comfortable sensations. Julie had never felt peace before. It was new.

The sound of water bubbled up from a distance. It was a beautiful sound. Julie opened her eyes, and all around her were long, thin boats on an enormous river. Spirits of all kinds milled about, murmuring. They did not look at her, but focused their attention on the far side of the river.

The Reaper strode past them.

Julie looked into his dark hood, puzzled. “Reaper, am I not crossing the river?”

He sighed, and shook his head. “How could you?”

Julie was, at first, confused by his question. Then, upon some reflection, she nodded. “I get it.”

The Reaper shook his head in a kind of soft slow motion. The movement itself radiated fractals around them. “Do you?” The question rumbled into waves.

“I’m going to hell.” She sighed, disappointed. “That tracks.” She danced her feet over the soft spectral ground. It tickled the underside of her feet as she floated with the Reaper.

The Reaper frowned behind his hood. “You will be…,” he paused, “…returning to a sort of hell.” His deep slow voice enveloped her. “As you always do.”

Julie allowed his words to settle into her heart. The feelings of serenity remained. “Ha, Reaper. You must be drugging me. I don’t even feel scared.”

To this, the Reaper said nothing. Her soft hand in his, he continued coaxing her soul along on the predestined path.

The sound of water fell away, as did the low sound of the other spirits.

Ori woke up in excruciating pain. It was all-encompassing, an ache and burn unlike anything physical. Flames seemed to rip and bite her from every direction, and she howled from the bottom of her chest. It was a gruff sound that she had never made before. She felt torn to shreds, the edges of her soul waving in the aether like a tattered rag. She was a rotting spirit, but the rot was cosmic and forever. A stabbing loneliness punctured it all. The hideous noises she made twitched outward into the air. The aether reacted, changing the landscape into uncomfortable shapes.

A Reaper came to her then, and enveloped her in an embrace.

“Shhh,” said the Reaper in a kind, low voice. It was a woman, and she was holding Ori’s trembling, shrieking spirit with one robed arm. The other she used to gather smokey aether, as one would to collect cotton candy. When her arm was thick with it, she flicked her wrist and twirled her arm. This wove the fluffy aether into a long blanket. With the practice of thousands of years, she wrapped Ori in it in a matter of seconds. The result was a wrap carrier usually used for young babies. Ori’s tiny, screeching soul quieted, and leaned against the Reapers black robes. The pain subsided.

Now that the pain was gone, Ori could remember who she was, and what had happened. Was this death? This hellish pain, and strange Reaper? There were too many thoughts to think. Why was every aspect of existence so horrid? What had she done that was so wrong? Ori began to cry again. This is why Julie had left, she was sure of it.

The Reaper held Ori’s little body, bound by the wrap, and swayed back and forth. The sound of her soft shhhhh, and the movement of her body swirled bright aether around her. Ori cried and cried.

Julie heard sobbing before she saw the Reaper and the baby. Its sobs were loud and endless. As she and her Reaper moved through the the spirit realm, Julie felt Ori, the baby’s, presence like a cold humid wind. Ori’s soul glowed with so much pain that Julie squeezed her reapers hand and pulled away. “What is that?” she whispered. “Is that really a baby?”

The Reaper watched her reaction in silence. Julie looked up into his hood for reassurance. When he did not move nor speak, she settled her feet onto the ground. She no longer floated. The rocking of the other Reaper was hypnotic, and the crying of the baby was discomforting. She realized that her Reaper was no longer guiding her along.

He stood next to her, impassive. His large hand held hers.

Julie had a strange thought, and shot the Reaper a wry smile. “If I could cry like that, maybe you wouldn’t have to keep sending me to hell.”

Slowly, like the buildup of an earthquake, the Reaper looked deep into Julie's spirit. He opened his mouth to speak. “You have always cried like this.”

The words shattered into Julie’s ears.

“There has never once been a time,” he wavered with emotion, “that you have not cried like this.”

His words boomed into existence like a slap in the face, and Julie felt them strike her. She flinched away. Unfamiliar feelings, like dread, and yearning, drenched her in a horrible cold. She felt the impossibility of her existence: a ripped piece of paper where a full soul should have been. The implications of this made her feel nauseous and she dry heaved with overwhelm.

She was a limb, or a torso. What was she doing in this place? Where was the rest of her heart? Julie no longer had lungs, but she couldn’t breathe. Even drowning in her own blood had not felt this way. She floundered. The reapers firm grip on her spirit was the only sensation keeping her tethered to sanity and fate.

The baby cried and cried and Julie felt its tears prick a hidden secret.

Julie roared in defiance, and her mind snapped back in full. She dug her nails and teeth into this current presence of mind.

The Reaper had brought her closer to the baby. He was holding Julie’s shoulders with firm hands, as if to keep her from running away.

Julie looked down at the tattered soul of Ori.

Ori, too, looked up at Julie.

The two women met eyes, and the aether exploded in light. Julie’s long black hair blew behind her, but she couldn’t close her eyes to the wind. She stared into Ori’s big blue eyes, stunned.

Ori’s eyes widened in recognition. The woven aether wrap fell away, and Ori, made of brilliant light, grew again into a young woman of twenty-three. “Julie,” she cried. “Julie! Julie!”

She reached her hands out, and Julie grasped them.

For the first time in many years, tears fell from Julie’s eyes. A rush of feeling fell into the black hole inside of her chest. She almost fell to her knees, dizzy with emotion. Instead, she nuzzled the cheeks of her dear sister. “I’m sorry,” she choked, “I’m sorry, baby Ori.”

In return, Ori released her hands one by one from Julie’s strong grasp, then cradled Julie’s face in her hands.

Their relationship had always been one of opposites. Still, the sisters should have never parted. This, the Reapers knew. A soul cut in half cannot exist for too long.

Ori’s Reaper readjusted the hood of her black robes, and caught the eye of Julie’s Reaper.

He nodded.

She placed her hands with care on each spirit’s shoulders. “…have you remembered?”

Julie clutched her sister soul to her, sick with regret. It had been her fault. Ripping their soul into pieces so she could escape. Leaving baby Ori to fend for herself. Sneaking through the aether to reincarnate into her own body. It had all been Julie. All of it.

Ori dug her wet face into the crook of Julie’s neck. “It was all my fault, Julie. I’m so weak. I’m so worthless.” She gripped Julie’s spirit with all her strength. “I didn’t deserve to have you protect me.”

Enraged, Julie made a wounded sound into Ori’s shoulder. “Shut up, baby Ori. None of that is true.”

“It is true!”

“No, it isn’t” Julie looked over at Ori’s Reaper. “Can you put us back together? So that we can be one person again?”

Ori began to cry again, this time, in pure joy. She felt forgiven. She wanted her sister back. She had missed her.

The Reaper beamed, in secret, behind her hood. “Now that everyone is here, of course.”

Julie’s Reaper placed his hand over Ori’s Reaper’s hand, still on Julie’s shoulder. “Wait a moment.” He sighed, pulling his hand back.

The Reaper wiped Julie’s tears away with a robed hand. Then he did the same for Ori, although his kindness made Ori cry harder. He placed both of his warm hands on the crown of their heads. “It has been a long time, so at first, it will be confusing.”

“Okay.” Julie nodded, resolute.

“I told you before…that I will be returning you to hell.”

Julie nodded again, her eyes sharp.

Ori fidgeted. “What does that mean?”

When they opened their eyes, baby Ori gasped in horror. Julie, looking through the eyes of their body, glared at the ceiling above them.

There was a double-knock on the door.

“Lady Ori? Shall I come in?”

Inside of their head, Ori screamed. “No!! This can’t―I can’t―!!”

Julie pulled baby Ori into a firm hug, squishing her big cheeks against her chest. “It’s okay, baby Ori.” Julie began to smirk, then to chuckle, and then to laugh.

Her laugh erupted out of their mind’s eye and escaped through their body. The body of Lady Ori was cackling so heartily and so loudly, that the maid outside of the door startled. “I’m serious. Don’t worry. Julie will take care of everything.” She patted her soul-sister’s head with deep affection, sat up, and looked at the door.

“Come in!” Lady Ori ordered.