Spill the Heart Pt. 2

I almost stumbled back, but I managed to play it off. Otherwise, Taiyori would've fallen.

"W-where is this coming from?" I stuttered.

"I was just curious," she said nonchalantly. "Because... I've never had a boyfriend."

"...Really...? You?"

"You could sound less surprised, you know. But... Yeah."

"I won't lie. I thought you'd have tons of experience. After all, you're always surrounded by heart-eyed fools."

"Heh. You would think, huh?"

My head slightly tilted over to look at her face, calm and soft with a subtle smile, yet the façade was obvious—one that exposed her sadness and regret behind the exterior.

"Clueless boys blinded by fake love used to be the least of my worries," she said. "Sometimes, I dread the thought of graduating, because I'll inevitably have to go back to those days. Care to take a shot in the dark?"

"Given your background..." I muttered. "Socialites."

"Exactly. You know what makes those old men in suits worse than simple boys? They always had an agenda. They wanted something from me, particularly a connection with my father. He never cared though. He loved that I was receiving so much attention, because it put the spotlight back on him. Wanna know what happened to me? I was forced to question everything around me. These people... Do they really care about me? Is their smile as genuine as they make it seem? It was torture... and I hated it."

"Certainly sounds like a lot. I'm guessing that didn't go away even when you started school."

"Yeah. I was always popular, even as a child. For whatever reason, kids my age latched onto me like those socialites would. Even when I'm minding my own business, people always smile at me. They showed me kindness while some professed their love. What do you think a little girl would've done in that kind of situation?"

"Hm... She probably would've eaten it all up. Popularity, attention, love—what kind of girl wouldn't want that?"

"I know, right? That's what should've happened. I should've been happy with being around my peers. I should've been happy that I was finally getting the love I had always wanted... but I wasn't... because I knew. They were just like the rest. They don't like me for who I am. They like me because I'm rich and pretty. That's why I rejected every single boy who asked me out. That's why I've never had a boyfriend."

Taiyori has been through so much. It made me feel worse about what happened between us. At least now, I can understand why she said all of those nasty things to me. She trusted me, and I broke that trust. It was completely warranted.

"So? What about you?" Taiyori asked.

"Hah. A girlfriend, huh?" I chuckled. "I'm an assassin, Taiyori. Do you really think I'd have time for that?"

"Hehe, who knows?" she giggled. "You're tall and handsome like a model, maybe a bit too quiet and reserved, kind of an asshole sometimes, but you're always honest. And when you do have something to say, you say it so... naturally... as if you have experience."

"Trust me. Everything that I say is improvised."

"Is that so? Then, are you telling me that you've never had a girlfriend?"

I lifted my hand over to softly flick her on the side of the head.

"I'll keep you guessing on that one," I smiled.

"W-wha... That's not fair," she muttered. "I told you about me."

"That's on you for telling it so easily."

"Tch... Weirdo..."

I let out a laugh. I never would have dreamed that Taiyori and I would ever have a normal conversation again. After what happened, it felt nigh impossible. Just being here with her now... It's nice.

"Hey, Taiyori," I said. "Can I tell you something?"

"Oh? You've never asked me that before," she whistled. "What's on your mind?"

"It's about me... as an assassin."

She kept her silence for a moment. This isn't something that I'd take lightly, and I hope she doesn't feel pressured to say yes.

"You know, I thought about asking you to tell me more about yourself, but I assumed you would just shoot it down," she scoffed. "Tell me."

"Well... For starters, you already know that I'm an assassin," I said. "I was given a mission here back in April. Something about... adjusting to the normal world. I thought it was a pointless mission, and I was completely right. I didn't fit in at all. The things that people normally do in this world are nothing close to what I do in my world. At the same time, though... It was saddening."

"Saddening? How so?"

"Well... The first question I asked myself when I first got here was, 'What am I doing here?' To this day, I still haven't found an answer. You see, Taiyori... I'm not someone deserving of a normal life."

Her eyes widened at my declarative words. It was only after the fact that I realized what a dramatic scene I had just made.

"Tsuki. What... do you mean by that?" Taiyori asked.

"Erm... I-it's nothing," I sighed. "Forget about it."

"No, I won't."

She grabbed my arm and held it tight, refusing to let go.

"Taiyori..."

"Tell me," she demanded. "Whatever's on your mind, tell me."

Our eyes locked, and I was unable to speak. She glared at me so intensely, even though it was clear that she was struggling to maintain her posture.

Taiyori worries about me. She cares about me. At least, that's what I want to believe, so I wonder... Just how far can I go before she inevitably leaves me?

As reluctant as I was, I forced a smile. "Well... It's exactly as it sounds. Every single day of my life was the same thing over and over again. Training, missions, blood, and death. Rinse and repeat. I never really cared. My targets were always the bad guys. Murderers, traffickers, assaulters, all of them. I thought I was doing the world a favor, so I never questioned it. However... the weight of it all began to gnaw on my mind, and I came close to giving up so many times. Hah... The fact that I'm still here is kind of amazing. It just sucks to think that I can never truly be a normal person."

"Tsuki..."

"No need to feel bad for me, Taiyori. I killed so many people. They may have been the most evil human beings, but in my opinion, that doesn't justify it. I myself am akin to those whom I hunt. Ironic, isn't it? Because I... I'm nothing but a sinner... just like them."

Suddenly, Taiyori threw her arms around me from the side and buried her head into my chest.

"T-Taiyori...?" I gulped.

"It's not your fault," she said. "If you were born and raised this way, then you had no choice."

"...But—"

"Shush. No buts. Just... Think about it like this. I was also born and raised this way. At an age where all a little girl should receive is love and smiles, I was doubtful, cautious, and filled with uncertainty. Do you think that's my fault?"

"Of course not."

"Then your circumstance is no different. We both have our own reasons. Just two messed-up people trying to adjust to the world that doesn't accept us for who we are, and that's totally fine."

"...I don't know, Taiyori. Do I deserve to move on so easily?"

"Heh... Tsuki..."

I froze when I saw that devious smile on her face. Just what is she planning this time? Suddenly, she forcefully yanked on my arm with a massive smile. 

"W-what are you doing?!" I exclaimed.

"Haha! Just come here!" she laughed.

"I'm perfectly fine where I am."

Despite my protest, she kept dragging me over to her side. She then took a deep breath while facing the sky.

"My name is Taiyori Ayaka!" she screamed into the night. "And this is Tsuki no Ran! We're just two broken idiots who've had a rough life, but that's okay! Who's gonna say anything?! No matter what anyone tells us, we're gonna keep moving forward! One day, we're gonna know what it's like to be ordinary... and no one's gonna stop us!"

The echo of her voice slowly faded away, leaving nothing but the howling wind. She turned to me with a massive grin so beautiful that it felt like a spell had been cast upon me. With each gasp she let out, a cloud of vapor followed it.

She let go of me, keeping that grin on her face. I never thought that Taiyori would be the one to calm my troubled mind. Life truly is so unpredictable.

"That's right," she said. "One day... We'll be just like everyone else. So, Tsuki... Can you stay with me until then?"

As her enchanting eyes pierced through mine, I fell deeper into the feeling I had long since tried to abandon.

I... like her.

"Taiyori..." I muttered before letting out a deep breath. "Yeah. Let's do that."

Taiyori stepped up and wrapped her arms around me, and I did the same. For a while, we stayed like that, holding each other in complete silence.

Suddenly, my phone began to vibrate.

"Huh? Who's calling you this late?" Taiyori asked.

I took it out of my pocket and read the screen. 'Unknown Caller.' It could only be one person. I have to pick up, but...

"Taiyori..." I mumbled.

"Go," she said.

It took me a bit to fully register that one word.

"W-what...?"

"Just go," she repeated with a smile. "Do what you need to do... but come right back to me. Understood?"

I stared at her for a while, amazed yet baffled that she was simply letting me go without a fuss. I couldn't help but form a smile of my own.

"Then, Taiyori..." I said. "I'll be right back."

"You'd better."

As she began walking away, I took a deep breath and turned around to face her.

"By the way..." I said, prompting her to turn around. "I've never had a girlfriend before."

At first, she merely looked at me like I was crazy, but that quickly turned into a subtle smile.

"I'll keep that in mind."