No Contact Pt. 3

After returning home, I threw myself onto my bed, the weight of the world pressing down on me. For a while, Sakuno's words echoed in my mind like a broken record, relentless and unforgiving.

Tsuki is an assassin. He kills people. That makes him a bad person. You can ask anyone in the world, and they'll say the same. But... he only kills bad people.

Does that make him a bad person?

He rescued me. He killed my abductors to save me, and he almost killed Kurobe for what he tried to do to me. The fact that he spilled blood cannot be changed... but he did it for me.

Do I still think he's a bad person?

I remember the way his eyes sparkled when I teased him at the mall, the warmth of his smile as I wrapped his wound, and the way he'd say something completely out of pocket that would leave me giddy with excitement. Those memories felt like sunlight breaking through the clouds, but they also brought shadows of doubt.

Is a bad person even capable of all that?

Suddenly, my eyes welled up with tears, the droplets cascading down my cheeks and soaking into my pillow. I didn’t bother to wipe them away. Instead, I surrendered to the wave of emotions, allowing the tears to fall freely.

"Hey, Tsuki," I whispered. "Can you hear me? If you can... Could you let me see you... just this once? Because I... I'm lost. I really don't know... what to think anymore."

I shut my eyes in an attempt to sleep it off, but that didn't necessarily work out. No matter how long I kept them closed, I still felt my consciousness flowing aimlessly in this cursed world.

"Tsuki..."

Eventually, I managed to fall asleep, but it did little to ease my mind. Even my dreams were plagued by haunting thoughts and memories.

He just can't leave me alone, can he?

Winter break officially ends today, ushering in a new term for the year. To be honest, nothing has really changed—just a few new classes that don't seem too difficult. The real challenge lies in navigating the most efficient routes to each one.

Of course, with a new schedule come new faces. Some students have more opportunities to see me, while others are encountering me for the first time. As I walked down the paths, lost in my thoughts, I felt their gazes upon me.

To my left, a pair of girls admired me with bright smiles, while to my right, a group of boys made it all too obvious that they were undressing me with their eyes.

"Hi, Taiyori!" a girl greeted me.

"Hello," I replied.

"Good afternoon, Taiyori!" another one bowed her head.

"Good afternoon," I said.

"Lookin' good as always, Taiyori," some random guy smirked.

"...Thanks," I muttered.

There was a time when I reveled in all the attention—positive or negative—but eventually, I came to realize that none of it was genuine. I longed for it to stop, yet it seemed to follow me wherever I went, an unwelcome shadow.

For what felt like the hundredth time today, I pulled out my phone, only to find that Tsuki still hadn’t replied. I tried calling him again, but as expected, it went straight to voicemail.

As I continued down the lonely path, my thoughts kept drifting back to him. This spot... This is where our story began.

I vividly recall bumping into him, expecting him to kneel and profess his love in a dramatic fashion. To my surprise, he simply asked if I was okay and excused himself. That was the moment I first sensed something different about him.

I realize now that I gave him a hard time, even though he was only trying to help. It's not that I was ungrateful; it's just that I had experienced similar encounters way too many times to believe he acted out of pure kindness. Perhaps it was too late when I realized that he was simply being himself.

In hindsight, Tsuki was the first person who ever approached me without any pretense—no flattery, no love letters, not even a smile. Just sincerity.

I looked up at the sky and let out a restless sigh. I wonder if he's back home yet. Instead of waiting around, staying in the unknown, I made my way over to his dorm room.

Sakuno is also an assassin. He threatened to kill me if I showed up again. Is it weird that I'm not even slightly worried about that? Maybe, but right now, the only thing on my mind is finding Tsuki.

I put in the passcode to the door and entered. It was in the exact same state as it was yesterday. Nothing changed at all.

"Sakuno?" I called out, fully ready to be jump-scared like last time. However, he wasn't there, and neither was Tsuki.

Did he actually leave? I mean... I don't see why he wouldn't, but still. He could've at least told me. Maybe something did happen to him. What can I even do about that?

"Ugh..." I groaned. "My head hurts."

As I was readying myself to leave, I stopped at the sight of a tack board on the wall. It was filled with many photos of Sakuno and Tsuki doing a variety of things.

One had them sitting by a pond. Another was them sitting at a table with cones of ice cream. In every single one of them, Tsuki had that classic face that made it look like he was annoyed at everything. I guess that really is his normal face. It's... cute.

Now that I think about it, if they had truly left, wouldn't they have taken down all of these photos? Leave no traces, get rid of the evidence, that kinda stuff. Isn't that how assassins are supposed to do things?

Suddenly, my gaze was drawn to a particular photo pinned in the bottom left corner of the board. My hands moved almost instinctively to reach for it. As I gently pulled it off the wall, my heart plummeted.

"No way…" I mumbled, disbelief washing over me.

This... is a photo of us. It was taken after our visit to the bubble tea shop, a simple day spent wandering around that plaza. We were sitting on a bench, and I had caught him off guard—his expression so adorably clueless that it made me smile.

My fingers tightened around the edge of the photo. Taiyori Ayaka, a beautiful girl with a wealthy background. That's who I am. That's how everyone perceives me... except for Tsuki.

In his eyes, I was just a girl—neither a tool to be used nor a special someone worthy of his undivided attention. He was the only person who treated me like I was ordinary, without the pedestal that others placed me on. Was it because he lacked the social instincts to navigate the superficial world that he could see me for who I truly was? He made it so glaringly obvious too... that I couldn't help but catch feelings.

Without thinking, I pulled out my phone and tried to call him again, but he didn't answer. I tried again, and again, and again—nothing. So I shot him another text.

Me: "Tsuki. Answer me. I want to talk."

I waited for a couple of seconds, and it was just as I expected.

Me: "Please."

Again, he didn't reply. Maybe he'll turn up tomorrow. So, I came back the next day. Still, he wasn't there, nor did he reply to my calls and texts.

Even then, I was persistent. When the moon was high in the sky, I returned to his room the next night. Without knocking, I entered his dorm.

"Tsuki? Sakuno?" I called out, only to be met with nothing once more.

I sank down onto Tsuki's bed, letting out a heavy sigh. What am I doing here? Why am I trying so hard to see him? What is it that I really want from him? For him to answer my calls? To text me back? But what would I even say?

Memories of our moments together played like a loop in my mind. He was such an awkward guy, his responses blunt and unfiltered. I kind of liked that about him; it was a refreshing change from the endless flattery I was used to. As much as I hated to admit it, just being next to him made me happy.

Twice... he saved me. Twice he protected me. I know that. I understand that he did it for me, but can I really forgive him just because of that? I should, shouldn't I? If he hadn't shown up when I was kidnapped, or if he hadn't been there after the Christmas party... What would have happened to me? Would I have been alone, trapped in a nightmare with no one to pull me back to safety? The thought sent a shiver down my spine, a stark reminder of the precariousness of my situation.

"Ugh!" I shouted as I threw myself onto his pillow. "Why... Why do I keep questioning and contradicting myself?! You broke my trust in the worst way possible, but I still want to see you. Do I want to see you? Shouldn't I be more angry with you for what you did to me? That's just it. I don't know anymore."

I buried myself into the pillow and let out a prolonged, muffled scream. This is so frustrating. I really can't take this anymore. I just... can't.

"I hate you..." I whispered. "You lied... You're the worst... I keep telling myself those things, but something within me is telling me otherwise, and I don't know why. Hah... Haha~ Ah... Tsuki... What did you do to me...?"

Slowly, my eyes began to close. I suppose all that thinking has worn me out. I should probably get some sleep now. Maybe luck will be on my side tomorrow.

But wait... this is Tsuki's room. What if he comes back and finds me sleeping here? I’d look like a total creep.

Despite my best intentions, my body felt heavy, and I couldn't bring myself to move. My eyes finally shut, and my muscles relaxed. The only thought lingering in my mind as I drifted off was a silent wish for him to return.

I felt torn in that moment, my chest aching with an unfamiliar sadness. It was as if my heart were crying out, while my mind sank deeper into darkness with each day I go without him.

I miss him... I miss him so much.