Farewell to Past Regrets Pt. 5

The fireworks show went on for about thirty minutes. All the while, Ayaka and I sat on a bench away from the festival. She had her head on my shoulder as our arms were locked. In peace and quiet, we admired the lights from afar.

"Ayaka," I said.

"Hm?" she hummed.

"Erm... I..."

Her head lifted and tilted over to look at me. The hell...? That look on her face really isn't making this any easier.

"What is it, Ran?" she smiled.

"W-well..."

Dammit. I never knew that saying just a couple of words could be so difficult depending on the person. There have been times in the past when a single word to Nemu no Tenshi could've had me rolling on the ground with a loose arm, and yet I still spoke my piece so confidently. To think that this is when I end up fumbling is embarrassing.

Okay... Deep breath. I can do this. Maybe... I hope...

"Ayaka..." I said nervously. "I... I want to be with you... to see and talk to you every day, and... and to hold you like this whenever you need me to. Truth is... I enjoy simply being with you. Every little thing that you did made me fall for you more and more, from your smiles to your laughs, your playful words, and just... you. So, Ayaka... Will you... Will you go out with me?"

She remained silent for a bit, and that alone made me anxious. Did I overstep again? Perhaps I misinterpreted what she meant when she said that she wanted me to stay by her side.

"Hah... I didn't think a hermit like you would even know how to say all of those words," she scoffed.

"I'm not that uncultured," I sighed. "I thought I'd just go ahead and say it since... W-well... I like you, and you like me... so..."

"Pft... Hahaha!"

Her laughter echoed around us, filling the silence like a beautiful melody. After getting it all out of her system, she turned to give me a soft look. I couldn't help but think about how pretty she looks when she smiles like that.

"You're so awkward that it makes me wanna tease you more," she said.

"I'm trying to be serious here..." I mumbled.

"Alright, fine, fine."

She took a deep breath and rested her hand on my face. Slowly, she tilted it so that our eyes met.

"Hah... Isn't that just so funny?" she asked. "You might not have noticed, Ran, but while you were falling for me... I fell for you even harder. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about you—when I'm awake, when I'm about to fall asleep... and when I wake up. You always knew the right words to say and when to say it. For the first time in my life, even though I heard them so many times, those words genuinely made me happy. I wanted to hear you say it more. I wanted to see you more. And... maybe more than anything else, I wanted your attention and yours only. Now that I have it, I plan on keeping it, so yes, Ran. I'd love to go out with you."

"R-really?"

"What, did you think I was gonna say no after confessing to you like that?"

"I don't know. I thought perhaps... there was more that I needed to do or something."

"Tch... I hate that you're so cute."

Suddenly, she pulled my face in and kissed me again. It was shorter than before but just as fulfilling.

"You're more than enough, Ran," she whispered. "Just be yourself. That's all you need to do, and day by day, I'll keep falling for you a little bit more."

She leaned her head against my shoulder and shut her eyes with a smile. Hand in hand, we enjoyed the stillness of the night in complete silence.

"Are you cold?" I asked.

"A little bit," she replied.

"Should we go get a blanket?"

"Where in the world are we gonna get a blanket out here?"

"I can go get one real quick. I like to think that I'm quick on my feet."

"Hah..."

Ayaka pushed herself onto me more than she already was, as if she was trying to keep me from standing up.

"Just stay right there, Ran," she said. "Being next to you is enough for me."

Those words sent a surge of warmth coursing through my body. It wouldn't be the first time this has happened.

In all of my life, I never imagined that I'd fall in love. It never even crossed my mind. I'm an assassin who was always fated to be alone, treading the shadows forevermore and nothing else.

Who would've guessed that someone like me would be here with Taiyori Ayaka, of all people? Certainly not me, that's for sure, but... I can't deny that I was hoping it would happen.

I've liked her for a while, but I knew my boundaries. I couldn't drag her into my life no matter how much I wanted her. We're two people from two completely different worlds, so how weird is it that she's the one person who accepts me? Who thinks of me... as a normal person...

No... I'm not normal—neither of us are. Maybe that's why she was willing to give me a chance. For once... I'm kind of glad that I'm not ordinary. Otherwise, I wouldn't have met her.

"So... What now?" I asked.

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"W-well... I'm not really sure what to do in a relationship. I don't know. Do we... like..."

I couldn't find the right words to say. Turns out, I didn't need to. Ayaka let out a soft giggle, but that giggle turned into a wholehearted laugh. Her legs lifted onto the bench as she turned to plop her head down on my lap.

"You're making your inexperience so painfully obvious," she scoffed with a wide smirk.

"It's not like you have that much experience either..." I mumbled.

Her finger reached up to tap my nose. "More than you, that's for sure. Just relax, Ran. We only just made it official between us. There's no need to rush things. Here, give me your hand."

Hesitantly, I lifted my hand to which she took it. While still holding onto it, she used it to caress her head gently. She let go, but I continued to move it back and forth.

"You can't hear it, but my heart is racing just because of this," she smiled affectionately. "Trust me, Ran. It's the little things that get to me. That's why I'm telling you to just be yourself. Since you're something of a masterclass in that field, it shouldn't be that hard, hm?"

"...I suppose not. Looks like I have no choice but to listen to you. Since you're clearly the more 'experienced' one, I'll follow your lead, but... Let me know if I'm doing something wrong."

"Hehe... I really don't know what it is about you that makes me feel so fuzzy inside. Is it the way that you're so careful yet still adoring around me? Or maybe... It's the way your eyes light up for only me and no one else? I think I'll figure it out eventually, but for now..."

Ayaka sat up, her gaze locking with mine. I couldn’t tell if it was the gentleness of her expression or the way her eyes softened in that honeyed look, but I felt my mind being pulled completely into her. For a moment, I forgot myself, lost to a warm, desperate thought—just a hopeless romantic, enthralled by this sweet and lovely girl.

"I'll cover my eyes and allow myself to get wrapped in the sweet illusion you've given me, so, Ran... show me. Make me believe that there is a miracle in this cruel world. And of course... maybe I can do the same for you," She took my hand and held it tight. "Together... Let's find it together—this so-called 'normal life.' And when we do... Can you keep me in your arms just like you're doing now?"

Once again, I felt my resolve crumble, but this time, I didn't resist. It wasn't just the tenderness in her expression, nor the way her gaze held me in place. It was everything—her face, her words, the way my heart thundered from her smallest glance. This wasn't just a simple case of liking her anymore. No, I think… I love her.

"Always, Ayaka," I said as I held her tightly. "No matter what, I will never let you go."

"Hehe~ And I'll make sure you never get the chance to."

Gently, she pushed me away and perked off the seat.

"Alright!" she shouted. "Should we head back now? I bet Saki and Sakuno are gossiping about us again, especially since we haven't met back with them since coming here."

"If anything, they're gonna talk about us even more now that... well... we're official," I gulped.

"Heh."

Ayaka rested her hand on my cheek with a delicate smile. The cold air seemingly faded away, replaced by her warmth.

"In that case, let them talk," she whispered. "Saki, Sakuno, and everyone else. Let them see us for everything that we are. Now that we have each other, there's nothing to hide anymore, right?"

"Haha... I suppose so. Then, Ayaka..."

I stood up and held out my hand.

"Shall we?"

With a soft giggle, she took it and stood up.

"I'd love to."