54. And this flower is called smeraldo

That night was the first time I dreamt of Rizor Circul.

At four o'clock in the morning, Barg scratched at the door and demanded to be fed. I groaned and got out of bed, regretting that I wouldn't be able to sleep again. I opened the curtains and stared sullenly at the dawn sky, the green suburbs below, the grey skyscrapers and the high mountains on the horizon, shrouded in the mist rising from the river.

I found myself thinking that I would have liked to stand over this picture until midday, listening to the muffled sounds of the waking city, had not time changed the morning colours into the bright reflections of a sunny day, the mist into smog, and the silence into the noise and bustle of the metropolis.

I had a dream about Rizor Circul.

I vaguely remembered what he'd done in my dream, what he'd said, or if he'd said anything at all. But I remembered his gaze, his unforgettable eyes, tinged with the magic of Oblivion, his breath. It was as if he was beside me, looking down on me, towering over me. And I could see the look of reproach and remorse in his eyes.

I reached up to stroke my collar. I'd got used to it. The gesture had soothed me lately. But my fingers found nothing, and with the relief came the echoes of fear in my soul.

‘You'll see...’ the president's words were relentless, repeating in my head, constantly playing in the background whenever I became distracted and stopped controlling the flow of my thoughts.

Now that the bomb was no longer part of my flesh, there was uncertainty. Until now, I'd been waiting for the damn thing to go off, not thinking much about the future, how I'd behave once it was gone. Grant, Rizor, death, and now the kittens – so much to think about, so many decisions to make.

I had no need of nightmares about Circul, the ruler of Unica.

Had I been so affected by our last conversation? The worms of doubt were gnawing at my insides, eating away at my confidence. Not much, just around the edges, but I was afraid that their diligence would soon erode the foundation of my steadfastness. Part of my heart wanted to convince me of the truth of the president's words, to make me believe that we could have something with Grant.

‘Naive Siri,’ I grinned to myself. The mind still reigned over the realm of hopelessness, confused thoughts, conflicting emotions and indecipherable desires.

“Only a miracle can stop me from killing Rizor,” I breathed into the void. “Or if I lose my mind.”

And forget who I am.

For a moment I really wanted to lose my memory, to go mad, to be happy in my ignorance and in the world gone mad. Are fools, as they say, the most carefree people? Perhaps.

I smiled, imagining myself amnesiac and insane for the fun of it. Sitting in a padded ward, counting the non-existent sun bunnies on the wall, biting my fingernails out of boredom and singing incoherent words with a mysterious look on my face, not caring about anything.

But then a shadow of realisation struck my idealistic picture. I would have forgotten Grant, too… And it made my heart ache. Not much, but noticeable.

I patted my cheeks, chasing away the thoughts and unnecessary emotions. I wanted to get some fresh air. So I grabbed my windbreaker from the back of the chair and walked out of the bedroom, much to Barg's delight.

The house was asleep, the inhabitants, tired from rescuing the kittens, had not yet got up. I alone was awake, to my anger, and could not forget myself in my sleep. I fed and walked the pug in the nearest square and went out on the balcony to stretch the magic that flowed lazily through my blood.

My powers happily responded to the call of the wind, the cold air touching my cheeks making me feel a little better. A smile even appeared on my lips as I spun, creating a small whirlwind. My hair whipped up, the skin under my thin shirt covered in goose bumps. A simple spell I'd learnt from a book I'd borrowed from the presidential library came to mind. “Strings of wind.”

I ran my fingertips over the strands of air and there was a faint ‘twang’ on the balcony. The melody that Circul Junior had given me to listen to on our trip to the sea came to mind. As I thought about it, the wind blew over the strings, creating a special, unique sound.

This wonderful melody was enchanting in its simplicity. It soothed my soul and I wanted to dissolve into it, to become a breeze whose essence was freedom itself.

I stood on tiptoe, squared my shoulders and closed my eyes, listening to the flowing, magical tones.

“Beautiful,” came from behind me.

I turned sharply to meet Grant's gaze as he stood by the door with a mug of coffee in his hand. How long had he been watching me?

“Can't sleep either?” he asked, covering his yawning mouth with his hand. And then the young man smiled at my dazed look, held out the mug and said, “Do you want some? I made a lot.”

“I won't say no,” I said as I walked past.

I felt embarrassed, like I'd been caught doing something private. At the same time, I was glad to see Circul. Horribly, it had only been a few hours and I already missed his sleepy face, those mischievous gleams in his eyes and his nasty temper.

Well, I could only hope that this feeling didn't turn into withdrawal.

After breakfast, Gisborne sent us off to the pet shop with a huge shopping list. The pet shop and pharmacy were only a few blocks away.

As new parents, we went on a shopping spree with Grant. Carriers, litter boxes, cat litter, holistic food, bowls, water fountains, jump toys, mint mice and tinned turkey stuffed in aubergine. There was also wormer, ear lotion, eye drops, nappies and lots of goodies.

Kai was speechless when he saw the mountain of bags we had brought home. He was obviously ashamed (and jealous) that Barg didn't get such attention and care from him. He had a look on his face that said, ‘Go buy something for my pet. A new bone? Crunchy chew toys? Or maybe a heated sleeping mat?’

Gisborne said nothing to our wildly burning eyes and hands full of shopping, just chuckled, but I could see the irony and amusement in his gaze.

It was time to introduce Barg to the kittens, as it was impossible to look at his neb and his ‘why am I not allowed in the living room all morning?’ look. I would have preferred that our poor little wanderers, who had just found a home and a faint sense of security, had never crossed paths with a horribly nasty, attention-seeking, centre-of-the-universe, old pug.

But today, it seemed, the centre of the universe had moved for him. Surprisingly, the dog, who had at first been extremely suspicious of the black lump of fur and cuteness, became very sympathetic as soon as the blackie opened his eyes and squeaked out a complaint or a request.

Kai's pet's grey tail curled and wagged and his eyes lit up with joy. A few minutes later, after the sniffing ritual had been completed, the two of them were comfortable in each other's company.

The girl was still breathing heavily, so we just showed her to the pug to let him know that his new friend had a little sister, and then took her to a safe place where she fell asleep after eating. And I hoped it was a healing sleep.

My fears of a world pet war didn't materialise. Blackie tried to bully Barg, but the dog growled at him a few times, and then the biting of his grey ears and attempts to ride on his back stopped. How could you not get on with these gorgeous kittens? They were wonderful.

Even the president appreciated our foundlings. He came to Gisborne's this afternoon to see us. The moment the ever-strict man, hated by millions of his own people, took the black kitten in his hand, everything inside me turned upside down. Yes... even the greatest of villains can't resist the charm of furry innocence, tailed defencelessness and whiskered simplicity.

It was beyond me to see the head of the country and my worst enemy pampering the little kitten, and the kitten purring in return. I stealthily made my way to the balcony, luckily the ‘leash’ didn't stop me now.

I enjoyed my independence, being able to go where I wanted, walk, zigzag, without fear of the chain getting caught in furniture. It was a good feeling, the feeling of freedom at my fingertips.

By dinnertime, the future, I had no doubt, most beautiful kitten in the world was feeling better. For now, she slept in her room all the time.

It was dangerous to leave her with her brother, who could also develop complications. According to Gisborne, rhinotracheitis is a fairly common disease in cats. We planned to vaccinate the kittens in a few days' time, and I hoped the illness would pass without any consequences.

We gathered in the living room, snuggled into sofas and armchairs. Grant had lit the fire and put up a screen to keep the curious furry bully from sticking his nose in and burning his whiskers. For the time being, the blackie was chasing everyone who passed by, running from one corner of the room to the other, rolling over in amusement and offering his belly for a rub.

I lay on the carpet with the kitten nestled against my chest, listening to its loud purr. Gisborne was drinking whisky, a smile hidden in his moustache. Kai stroked Barg behind his ears, and Grant played with the flames, changing their shape with his mind.

“What are you going to call them?” Grandfather broke the silence.

Circul shrugged and I frowned. I hadn't even thought about it before.

“I want special names. I want them to have some kind of meaning.”

The old man snorted at my answer and said: “Then call them Drago and Eris.”

“What?” The three of us looked at Asanor Senior.

Even Barg turned a surprised muzzle in Grandpa's direction.