In the Eyes of the Beholder

Ivy and Sakura had moved across the library to a new table in the hopes of getting some quiet, and it mostly worked. There were a few choice words and looks given, but they only lasted until those disgruntled angels left the library, and then all was calm again. The two worked mostly in silence, skimming over books in the hopes of finding something about devils and their relations to angels and if any had a similar situation to Zero’s parents.

Ivy did her best to stay focused, but it was difficult when she had questions of her own. It was easy to understand why the angels didn’t like Zero. He was a devil, and the greatest thing an angel could do was to kill one. It was how Ren had been able to leave The Guard.

But she didn’t understand why so many people, especially the angels, watched Ren the way they did and talked quietly about him. As if they were afraid of him. They had never really had an issue anywhere else. So why was it such a big deal here? He had killed a devil. So, shouldn’t that make him a hero in their eyes? Someone to be celebrated rather than scorned?

“Why don’t people here like Ren?” Ivy asked quietly, unable to bite her tongue any longer.

Sakura continued scanning the pages, only half paying attention the girl. “Because he’s a Fallen One.”

“But why does that matter?”

“Because it’s a sin against God.”

Ivy had heard all of this before, but she had never really understood or questioned it. She hadn’t known that Fallen Ones existed until she actually met one, and she had just accepted him as he was without a second thought, just as he did her. She had never considered that he could be so universally disliked and avoided among his own kind. No where else did the man produce such attention, and what he did receive were typically comments on his height or face, or sometimes about the excessive size of his sword.

But here, in this city full of angels, the hate and fear were impossible to avoid.

She touched the woman’s arm, getting her full attention. “But why?”

Sakura sighed and leaned closer to the girl. “It’s just the way it is. All I know is what Raz told us, which wasn’t much. He didn’t like talking about Celeste and Ben. All he ever really said about it was that they weren’t supposed to be together but that they were, and Ren was born with black hair and wings due to the sin that they had committed.”

“But why does that affect him? He’s not the one who sinned.”

“That’s just what Fallen Ones are. I don’t know why exactly it happens. Raz never said, and I’ve never had the interest to ask any of these fuckers why. I just know that they’re created from whatever sin of their mother and father, and then they grow in the darkness until they enter this world. Most of the time, the mothers are killed while pregnant. But if the baby makes it to birth, then they kill both of them.”

Tears began to run down the girl’s cheeks. “They kill the baby?” she could barely whisper.

The demon wiped her face, her voice softening. “They do.”

“How could they do that?”

“Because they think the baby is evil.”

“A baby can’t be evil. How could they think that?”

The woman tucked a lock of hair behind the girl’s ear. “Because that’s the story they’re all told from the time they’re little, like a cautionary tale. Raz had told us that after the creation of the heavens, when a Fallen One was born, they would just exile them to the land and wash their hands clean of them. At first, they were just considered imperfect beings since they didn’t have white wings and blonde hair. But it was more than just that, and there were always… issues with them. Stealing, killing, doing whatever they pleased without fear of consequence. They want what they want and they won’t stop until they get it. They don’t care what God wants. Still, The Kingdom didn’t really care since it was on the land and didn’t affect them. Up until one of them decided that he was more powerful than God and tried to claim the heavens. He did a fair amount of damage before they finally were able to kill him, and after that, they started killing the mother and baby. They believe it’s better to kill the child rather than risk another insurrection. Purge the evil before it can come into fruition.”

Ivy shook her head, unable to see the correlation between those Fallen Ones and the one she knew. “But Ren’s not evil. He would never do any of that. He doesn’t even like The Kingdom. Why would he want to take it?”

“That’s the fucked up thing.” Sakura huffed and rolled her eyes. “They spent years building him up to be some kind of boogeyman who was going to come after their precious Kingdom, when in reality, he was more interested in widdling sticks and fishing and building stuff and screwing around. The Kingdom never even really crossed his mind until they came for him.”

A pout puckered the girl’s lips as she sighed. “That’s still all he wants to do, especially screw around. It might be frustrating to deal with sometimes, but that doesn’t make him evil.”

“Well, that’s why most people don’t want to be around him. They either think he really is evil or they don’t want to chance upsetting The Kingdom. Others don’t really know what to make of it. It’s not like there’s other Fallen Ones to compare him to, and he’s always so friendly that it’s easy to ignore the rumors. But it’s why he hides his wings. They scare people. Remind them of what he is.”

“But they’re so pretty.” The girl had been amazed by his wings since the first time she saw them. She was even jealous of them, wishing that she could fly, too. “I just don’t understand how anyone could think that of him.”

“It’s just the way it’s always been and how it’ll always be. You just learn to accept it. When they’re hidden, it’s easier for him to move around. Takes people longer to realize what he is.” Sakura chewed her cheek, considering how much to tell her. “To be honest with you, sometimes you can see it… in his eyes… the darkness.”

Ivy quickly looked down into her lap, her hands clasped tightly together. It wasn’t something she liked to think about, but she didn’t want to be dishonest about it either. “I’ve seen it,” she admitted. “When I first met him, and again at Marisol’s. They got really dark and he changed. He didn’t seem like Ren. He was…” She gulped down the lump in her throat and blinked at the moisture in her eyes. “Scary.”

The woman nodded and covered the girl’s hands with one of her own. “Most of the time it’s quick, just a flash and it’s gone. But sometimes it’s more. When we were kids, he broke a boy’s nose pretty bad and threatened him and his friends. Before he went into The Guard, there was a boy who grabbed at me in the town, and Ren would have beat him to death if I hadn’t stopped him. I’ve seen it a few times since he showed back up, but he seems to have better control over it now.”

“He told me that he killed people in The Guard.”

“He did. Raz told him what jobs he could do to reduce his time, so he did them. I’m sure you’ve heard what they’ve been calling him.”

How could she not? Since the moment they entered the city, it had been a nearly constant onslaught of comments about the angel. How he was a monster, an abomination, a sin.

How he was the Hundred Headhunter.

“Did he really kill that many people?” Ivy asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

Sakura shrugged, not seeming to care much. “I don’t know. Maybe? I wouldn’t be surprised if it was more than a hundred, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s just rumors. Another way to ostracize him further. I doubt even Ren knows. It’s not exactly something he takes pride in, but he doesn’t have much respect for angels in general, so I can’t imagine it even crossed his mind to keep count. He’d probably have a better idea of how many fish he’s gutted in his life than how many angels he’s beheaded.” She glanced away sullenly, pursing her lips as she thought about the man. “He used to be quieter, shyer. Still annoying as hell, but he wasn’t so talkative and loud all the time. He kept a lot of things to himself. Didn’t make all that constant noise like he does now.”

Ivy couldn’t help but smile. “He is really loud.”

When it was just Sakura and her, they would talk when they had something to say, and she would hum and sing but there was also a lot of silence as they traveled. It seemed now that the only time she heard silence was at night as everyone slept. In one way or another, the quiet would be filled with noise by the angel. He had no problem listening to others talking and would tell Ivy how he enjoys her singing and humming and never interrupt while she was doing so. But once the sounds stopped, he would start. Whether it be his rambling or whistling or humming or tongue clicking or even stepping heavier than normal, the silence had to be filled.

“I think it’s a habit he’s picked up to keep him busy. It was always hard for him to be alone with only his thoughts, and when he was younger it was easier for him to slip into that place in his mind unless he had a distraction.” Sakura smirked. “So, I always harassed him, and I was ruthless. I never left him alone. But once he went to The Guard, he was completely on his own, so he had to find something else to concentrate on.”

“Do you think…” Ivy hesitated, unsure if she really wanted to know the answer. “Do you think Ren really is evil?”

The woman laughed. “Oh, he definitely is. That man’s a fucking monster. But he’s my monster, and I’ll take responsibility for him and keep him from getting into too much trouble.”

The girl chewed her lip, considering everything she’d been told. “If it’s true that he’s evil but he doesn’t want The Kingdom or to hurt others, then what does he want?”

The vixen smiled, her eyes bright and playful and all-knowing. “I don’t think that one's too hard to figure out.”

“Oh!” Ivy felt silly for even asking when the answer was right in front of her. “I guess it isn’t.”

Sakura pushed herself to her feet and began collecting the books. “We should probably call it a day. Who knows what kind of trouble that man has been causing for everyone. Better go reel him in.”

They replaced the books and continued out onto the streets, weaving their way through the crowds on their way back to the inn. Sakura grabbed Ivy’s arm and stopped, her nose taking a quick whiff as she turned around to see the two men walking a distance behind them.

Ivy watched as the angel raised his hand, high above the crowd, and waved with his big smile. She could feel the tears swell and fall as she pushed her way as quickly as she could towards the two.

But she didn’t go to Zero like she normally did. Instead, she crashed against Ren, clinging to him as she sobbed into his shirt.

The man held onto the girl protectively and glared at the perceived aggressor. “What did you do to her? You broke her!” he accused, displeased with the woman’s transgression.

Sakura shrugged. “I didn’t mean to.”

“How many times have I told you that you can’t be mean to her like you are Zero? She doesn’t deserve to be treated cruelly.”

Zero looked at the angel, realizing for the first time that the demon’s brutality may stem from more than just her own desire for destruction. “Why do I deserve it?”

“Hush, boy. I don’t have time to deal with more of your feelings right now. I have more important matters to tend to.” He smoothed down amethyst waves, speaking gently to the girl. “It’s okay. I won’t let her bully you. Why don’t you hop up, Little One, and I’ll walk you back to the inn.”

Ivy set her smaller feet on the angel’s much larger ones, and he took awkward steps forward as she held on tightly and continued to cry.

Ivy didn’t know if The Kingdom was right or wrong. If Ren was evil or not. But when she looked up at him and he smiled down at her, she didn’t care.

She only saw the good.