Chapter 03 Memories of My Former Self

Memories of my former life flashed before my eyes, a fleeting glimpse of a time long since forgotten - a time when I walked the earth as a human, oblivious to the machinations of gods and goddesses.

"As Shota," she sneered, her words laced with annoyance, "you were nothing but a useless human - a pathetic shut-in loser who squandered your days away playing video games in your mother's apartment. You blamed the world and others for your problems, yet you never once lifted a finger to change your fate. You were like an insect."

"And do you know what's truly pathetic?" she continued, her voice rising with contempt.

"Even insects have more significance in the world than you did. At least they serve a purpose in the grand scheme of things, unlike you, who contributed nothing but apathy and self-pity to the world around you."

"And yet, despite you being a worthless thing, I was generous enough to give you a chance," she continued, her voice dripping with scorn.

"When I presented you with the opportunity to start anew, to inhabit a world of fantastic wonders and unimaginable abilities, you dared to anger me," she spat.

"And that, my dear Hermit, is why you now find yourself reduced to nothing more than a pathetic goblin - a shadow of your former self, condemned to an existence of suffering and despair."

"Oh, mighty goddess," I implored, my words choked with emotion.

 "I beg of you, please grant me mercy. I know that I have made mistakes and that I have squandered the opportunities you have presented to me. But I swear to you, I am not the same person I once was. I have learned from my past, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to redeem myself."

"Oh, great goddess," I begged, my voice quivering with desperation.

 "I beg of you, please grant me another opportunity to return to the living world. I have unfinished business, a duty to fulfill - a duty to my beloved caretaker, Kaka."

Tears welled in my eyes as I spoke, the memory of Kaka's selfless love and unwavering devotion filling my heart with a bittersweet ache. He had been more than just a caretaker to me - he had been my Dada and Muma, the only one who had shown me kindness and compassion in a world fraught with cruelty and suffering.

"I need to help him recover. He is wounded and broken, his spirit shattered by the suffering. But I cannot abandon him - not when he needs me the most."

Lusseria's laughter rang out like a cruel symphony, mocking my heartfelt plea for mercy with a cold indifference that chilled me to the bone.

"Ah, little Hermit, how you grovel and beg," she scoffed, "there will be no second chance at redemption for you. Redemption is a luxury reserved for those who deserve it, and you, my dear Hermit, are not among them. Your fate is sealed, your destiny etched in stone. No saving from the endless cycle of suffering and torment that awaits you."

"Instead," she continued, her voice dripping with malice, "I will grant you a saving of sorts - a brief respite from the torment that awaits you in the world below. I will breathe a little life into your broken body, allowing you to continue your journey of endless suffering and despair."

"I have decided that destroying your soul for good would be a mercy, a salvation which you do not deserve. And so, I will let you roam the cruel world for a bit longer - a broken vessel adrift in a sea of suffering and torment."

 Before I could gather my wits and plead further for mercy, her snapping fingers shattered the fragile threads of my consciousness, casting me into the void with a swift and merciless blow.

The next moment, I found myself blinking in confusion, the dim light of the cave casting long shadows across the damp earth beneath me. The sound of rain drumming against the roots of the giant apple tree filled the air, a soothing melody to calm my fractured existence.

As I lay sprawled on the ground, my body aching and bruised from the beatings, I felt a surge of relief wash over me - I was alive. Despite the pain and uncertainty that lay ahead, I was grateful for the simple gift of life, a precious commodity in a world plagued by suffering and despair.

But as I struggled to push myself upright, the memories of my encounter with Lusseria began to fade, like fragments of a dream slipping through my fingers. In their place, a sense of urgency seized hold of me - a primal instinct to survive, to endure against all odds.

With a painful yelp, I forced myself to my feet, the world spinning around me in a dizzying blur. I knew that I needed to find food and water before I succumbed to exhaustion once more, my survival dependent on my ability to find nourishment.

And so, with a weary sigh and aching limbs, I set out into the rain-soaked world beyond the safety of my makeshift sanctuary, my mind filled with thoughts of Kaka and the desperate need to protect him from the horrors that lurked in the shadows.

Crawling weakly out of the cave, every movement sending waves of agony rippling through my broken frame, I made my way toward the nearby bushes where I had spotted berries earlier. The relentless rain was banging my body as if each droplet was an iron fist descending on my delicate skin. With trembling hands, I reached out and tugged at the branches, dislodging a few precious fruits that hung tantalizingly within reach.

The world spun around me in a dizzying blur as I worked with the last remnants of my strength, my fingers fumbling clumsily as I struggled to gather the sustenance I so desperately needed. Every second felt like an eternity as I fought against the overwhelming urge to collapse where I stood.

"Just a little longer. You can do this. For Kaka." I told myself, my breath coming in ragged gasps as I fought against the overwhelming urge to give up. 

Finally, with a triumphant gasp, I managed to gather a handful of berries in my trembling grasp. But there was no time to savor my victory, for the world outside was fraught with danger, and I knew that I needed to return to the safety of the cave before it was too late.

As I stumbled back, the world around me faded into darkness, my body collapsing onto the soft moss with a bone-weary sigh. With the last vestiges of my strength, I pushed the berries into my mouth, their sweet juices a welcome respite from the gnawing hunger that bit at my insides.

And then, with a weary groan, I succumbed to the overwhelming fatigue that gripped my weary limbs, the gentle patter of rain lulling me into slumber's embrace.

As I stirred from my slumber and blinked my eyes open, I was greeted by the dim light of dawn filtering into our tiny cave. The rain had ceased its relentless assault, replaced by the gentle glow of a new day dawning.

Pushing myself up onto unsteady legs, I peered cautiously outside the cave entrance, squinting against the soft morning light. It had been at least a full day since I had succumbed to exhaustion, lost in the depths of slumber.

Shaking away the last vestiges of sleep from my mind, I scuttled toward Kaka's limp form, my heart pounding with fear that he may not have survived the night. With trembling hands, I reached out and tugged at his skin, shaking him with all the feeble strength I could muster.

But Kaka remained unresponsive, his body still and lifeless beneath my touch. Panic clawed at the edges of my consciousness, threatening to overwhelm me with panic. And yet, as I watched, I saw the faint rise and fall of his chest - silent proof of the fragile thread of life that still clung to him.

With a sigh of relief, I released the breath I hadn't realized I had been holding, my fears momentarily eased by the sight of Kaka's feeble breaths. But there was no time to dwell on my relief, for I knew that our survival depended on my ability to gather provisions and explore our surroundings.

Sighing with relief, I turned my attention to exploring the cave, my spirit lifting slightly after a much-needed rest. Near the entrance, nestled within the roots of the giant apple tree, I stumbled upon a small pool of clear, cool water, its surface rippling gently in the soft morning light. With a grateful sigh, I knelt beside the pool and cupped my hands, scooping up the refreshing liquid and bringing it to my parched lips.

As I drank, I felt a surge of energy course through my weary body, revitalizing me after a long night of fitful sleep. With newfound strength, I set about exploring the rest of the cave, my eyes scanning the walls for any signs of hidden treasures. But the cave was tiny and cramped, barely holding any secrets. With a heavy sigh, I cast my gaze around the dimly lit chamber, my eyes searching for any sign of life or sustenance that might aid in our struggle for survival. But aside from the damp dirt and the occasional scurrying of insects, there was nothing to be found.

Disappointed by the lack of anything of value, I couldn't shake off the pang of frustration gnawing at my insides. With a heavy sigh, I turned my attention back to Kaka's still form.

Approaching him with cautious steps, I knelt beside him, a surge of affection welling up within me as I gazed upon his broken form. With trembling hands, I envelop him in a warm embrace. Leaning in close, I planted a gentle kiss on his forehead, a silent gesture of love and devotion in the face of hardships. 

But even as I held him close, a sense of unease lingered in the air - a feeling of impending danger that whispered of unseen threats lurking just beyond the safety of our sanctuary. And so, with a heavy heart and a wary eye, I decided to venture outside, to survey our surroundings and ensure that no harm would befall us in this unforgiving wilderness.