Chapter 3:

Worstesterest Deal Ever

Chuuni club seeks World Record

All the traps were already prepared when the newcomers arrived at the school auditorium. Little hints were placed everywhere to guide them where I needed them. I got up early to make all those signs and prepare the low-bucket scenography; THEY SHOULD BE THANKFUL! BETTER THEY ARE!

"It says we need to step on the marks," says the guy who returned to the club to life.

"What I told you? This is not a roleplaying club, Toya," complains the oldest of the twins.

Saburo means 'Third son,' and the other means 'Shiro,' referring to 'Fourth.' It's not like I paid attention to them more than the props... OK, I meant their glasses; the shape is different. But when anyone were to open their mouth to speak more insecurities, there is when I make my well-prepared announcement:

"BEHOLD, Lurkers of Life!" I shouted with a voice changer I purchased to simulate phone calls for the radio project for my Social Studies class last year. Are you thirsty for adventures?"

"Yes!" I could hear from the other side of the velvet veil that Saint Toya and Blessed Lady Yumeko were caught in my trap.

"There is not enough Will enforcement on the cheeeeeeeers," I expressed with enthusiasm, getting into my role, so I pulled off my arm to lift the spirits, but my deformed voice brought coughs, and I fell to the wooden form, making more... 'thunders.'

"Chibi-senpai, are you OK?" Yumeko tried to get close, but I lifted my finger to ask her to stop and wait one minute while the cough went off.

"What's wrong, miss rough voice? The thunder fell from Talos' pockets?" Saburo sputtered and laughed, thinking this was more like a sentai or a child show in a Supermarket... I thought it, and I'm the main performer. I'm NOT so proud, but I'M DOING MY BEST!

"Oh, that's right! You got it! You are an ACE!" I said, trying to recover control as I pointed to Saburo. "Now I design you as a Druid with Oracle curses!"

Toya, Yumeko, and Shiro looked at Saburo before yelling at the same time in a degrading cry that, because there are three voices in unison, lowers his morale with just one obtuse sound, intoned in mockery: "Oooooooooooooh!"

"What? Not a Druid! Everything less than that!" Saburo begged.

"Do you prefer a Bard?" I offered, still covered by the curtain.

"NONONONONONONONO! The Druid with Oracle curses it's OK!" The Third Son went back over his words.

"I'll allow it!" I confirmed as I pointed to him with my mystical hand. 

"Pfft, sorry, bro. What a loser," Shiro said to his brother from his back as he patted his shoulder.

"You know what? I've made up my mind," I ordered. "Shiro is the Bard, " and everyone, less the Fourth Son, broke into laughs; he stayed frozen in time, like processing what just happened, dumbfounded.

"Then... AGAIN!" I raised my voice with the modulator on my lips as my performance fed the fire into the audience of four, "Are you willing for adventures, fame, and glory... and roleplay 24/7?!"

The party was in the right mood, excited and delusional, just like I needed them! With their repeated confirmation, I made my glorious entrance by shooting the confetti canons and throwing golden glitter around, making my shiny carpet to their feet.  

"Then let me hear your summon for your Dungeon Master!" I sang to give an epic drama tone.

Toya was the one who started to scream in the hype, "Go Go, Dungeon Master!"

"Oh, my... Patience, Azuth, give me PATIENCE!" I yelled as I pointed up, reclaiming the God of Knowledge. "This is not a sentai! Give me something good!"

"Hail to the Great Master of the Dungeon!" Yumeko cheered, and Toya continued, "Praise to the Great Master of the Dungeon!" They said this to repeat with the twins, who had already surrendered to the idea of joining the trial, "Long live to the Great Master of the Dungeon!"

With distinguished charm, I make my majestic appearance, pulling a rope to open the curtain in a brief moment while, with thunderous steps, shooting shining lights on my hands that spread all around the air while a dark, long scarf draws a mystic line —full of glitter— on my path. Jumping from the edge of the scenery, giving a double deadly jump, fluttering my arms in the air until I fall on my light feet, slipping on the floor —because of the glitter— and making the most (unexpected) split before them, just at the moment the sparks go out and my face —probably— looks like if I was joyful for suck juice from a lemon while I'm thanking all the Luck Gods for the gift to have talked Gymnastic classes in Elementary.

"Then..." I said as I tried to get up, impossible. "THEN..." and again, I failed. "THEN!" I practically begged for help, so Toya and Shiro helped me, "THEN-I-AM-YOUR-DUNGEON-MASTER!" I declared while the guy put me again on the floor. So I continued, "And director, screenwriter, set designer, costume and prop designer. I'm all the package in a tiny bottle."

"Tiny, that's sure," Saburo continued with his teasing.

"Now your Druid looks like a furry," I replied as I fired my last confetti cannon at his uniform with a frown.

"Great Master of the Dungeon! I request a word with you," Yumeko says enthusiastically (I love her enthusiasm).

"Speak, dear," I answered solemnly, "I'll allow it."

"I want to be a War Mage!" she says while I was thinking that everything could tremble in my perfect plan.

"I was thinking of you like our Cleric, but I have a suggestion: Alchemist. You can make potions to heal, bombs and acid clouds." I knew my suggestion was accepted when I saw that evil smile drawing on Yumeko's face, turning that gracious and feminine lady into a creepy, gloomy scientist.

"Oh, Great Master of the Dungeon," my manly muse made his voice ring in my ears, "Could you please tell us what will be the background, story and edition of the campaign?"

I cleared my throat. It's time to put my entire soul into this and make them feel the magic run on their skin.

"You are part of the prestigious Arcane Academy, known for its demanding curriculum and mysterious secrets. You will attend classes, go to the dueling club, and explore the vast grounds to discover something has been stolen from the restricted library, an unknown text that the rumors say has the power to unleash an ancient evil upon the world," I recited from memory while I'm looking at their faces.

"Your objectives are to attend classes to learn skills and spells, receive excellent scores on the Black Arts classes to increase your levels, and unravel the mystery of an ancient power sealed within the school by investigating the theft of the text and finding out who is behind it," they heard me attentive.

"Your daily activities include assisting the Black Arts classes to gain one skill point for your Duel Club, get the best scores to earn bonuses, and increasing your rolls for attack, damage, and save. Finally, complete the home assessments and training to win extra hints for the School Mystery. You fail your mission if you have not resolved the mystery of the Arcane Academy before the year ends, and the Arcane Academy will be the source of the most devastating event of the story." I said as everyone looked injected with a burst.

"But be afraid of the consequences, my awesome adventurers. Because the Great Old One, who sees everything all the time, will be the one checking that your soul pact will be respected or you will receive penalties and will be judged by the Sea of Undeads." I finished and bowed to them, acclaimed by a wave of claps. "Thank you, thank you."

After the mood was low, Toya asked, "OK. After all the fuss, then we will be roleplaying all day? In school and at home, too? Even on weekends?"

"You got a problem, my benevolent knight?" I countered with another question.

"I just thought it would be a little extreme," he says as he looks a little nervous after the emotional rush passes, disappointing me.

"I don't like your attitude, soldier. I assign you the title of Depressed Paladin." I poked on Toya's chest while the laughs of the other three were echoing in the big room.

"And I thought the Bard was the worst she could assign," Shiro complained about his role, so I slapped him with the glittering tail of my scarf.

"Now your skin has shining freckles, and your name is Katniss. If you keep complaining, you will be known like Lightbulb, OK?" I scolded the older twin, but the youngest broke into laughter again.

"Enough, Flufflestiltskin," said Yumeko, but I doubt if that was into a character.

"I'll allow it!" I stated.

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