Rebirth

It was snowing heavily on this wintry snowfield.

This snowfield surrounded by spruce trees. A one empty snowfield.

In the middle of it, there was a boy. Forever waiting. He was waiting for someone who he’d promised to meet again.

Day after day, he always made time to wait there.

Because he believed that, if he waited there every day, that she would appear there again. And they would play together, talk together, just like they always would before she left.

Several years, decades, and centuries had passed without the two ever meeting.

Even after the boy had died, he continued on waiting in death. Just to see her again, just to see her smile again, he waited.

No matter how much time would pass, he left it up to fate.

Because of that promise they made, he was sure that they would eventually meet.

Even if it’s not in that same snowfield, even if it’s out of this world, he was sure.

He steeled his will and resolved as he waited.

***

I woke up as I slowly opened my eyes to the familiar white ceiling. My heart weighing heavily on me as I recalled that dream from moments before…

What a sad dream… I thought as I scratched my eyes and reached out for my phone to check the time.

It was currently 7:39 AM in the morning. Still early…, I guess I can sleep in for today, since it’s already vacation. I thought as I tucked myself in the comforter. Wait… what did I do last night again? Ahh let’s see, I went home, organized the groceries I bought, and...

It had returned to me... the events of last night or rather early morning. I immediately sat up straight and touched my body all over. “Oh, I’m still alive…” I quietly muttered, slightly disappointed by it. Wait why is my voice a bit high pitched, usually it’s much deeper. I thought as a strand of long black hair had fallen into view.

I have a bad feeling about this… I reached to out to my phone again and immediately booted the camera app. It booted up, then I pressed a button to change it from the back-facing camera to the front-facing one.

As soon as it changed… I saw it.

A girl with long black hair, slightly wider eyes with smooth porcelain skin with no pimples nor acne. I stared at it for a few more seconds before the realization donned upon me. “Aaaaaaah!” I screamed as loud as I can.

Why? How the hell did this happen? As I was panicking at this shocking development someone had woken up. “Mmrngh… can you keep it down, I’m still sleeping here mng…” someone said.

Who’s that? I thought as I got out of bed and walked around it only to find someone sleeping on the floor beside it.

That woman from last night!? “Oi, wake up, explain this!” I threw the pillows from my bed at her. “ugh… fine fine, just give me a second.” She uttered as she slowly sat up straight, scratching her eyes.

“Oh you’re awake.” She thoughtlessly muttered.

“Yeah I’m awake, but first of all didn’t you kill me yesterday!?”

“Uh yeah, I accidentally overdid it and prevented your body from regenerating. So, I had no choice but to regenerate you myself.” She responded.

“Then why am I girl?” I asked, getting from screaming early in the morning.

“Because I can’t regenerate your male body with the parts that are still alive, so I had to make do and give you more, in fact you should be thankful I even saved you.” She explained.

This woman’s really getting on my nerves! I don’t even get angry as much as I used to, so it’s been a while since I felt this way. “This wouldn’t have happened at all, if you didn’t try to kill me.” I said.

“I was just testing you since you seemed strong, I didn’t know you were weak.” She added.

“Of course I’m weak, I’m just a normal human being compared to a monster like you.” I grumbled.

“Anyways, let’s move to a different location, I’m starting to get uncomfortable just sitting here on the floor.” She commented.

“Fine… then go downstairs and wait in the dining table, I need to go the bathroom real quick.” I agreed.

“Okay…” She replied as she stood up and went out of the room.

“Phew…” I sighed.

I’m a girl now huh… can’t my life get any worse than this? I thought as I walked to the bathroom.

***

After entering the bathroom and getting to prepare my usual routine... Wait, I don’t have the little guy anymore, do I? I thought as I slightly pulled down my jogging pants.

After confirming I pull it back up.

Hmm… wait I remember wearing a different set of clothes yesterday before all that went down, how’d she know where my clothes were? I think I remember her also causing some destruction to the other houses in the townhouses, I wonder if she fixed it too, after all if she had the ability to treat me back to normal when my body was in literal pieces, she could possibly do it too.

Oh well I’ll just ask her all that later, right now I need to my business.

I lifted the toilet cover and seat up and pulled down my pants, exposing my female groin.

Shit… I did it out of habit. If I remember right girls sit to do their business but as a man inside it feels inconvenient, sure I did do my business while sitting down but that was when I was taking a dump too.

I’ll probably get used to this soon enough. I thought as I pulled down my jogging pants along with my white briefs and sat down the toilet.

This sensation feels weird…

After finishing, I flushed the toilet and went to the sink to wash both my hands and face. The sensation on my hand somewhat feels the same except that there’s a hint of softness inside it, on the other hand touching my face feels extremely different.

It’s all smooth and clean with no pimple or acne in sight. I guess I have to thank that woman for this later, although I’m still sort of mad that she tried to kill me and sad that she brought me back, it’s no use crying over spilled milk. I thought as I finished washing and wiped both my hands and face then walked out of the bathroom.

I went down the stairs and saw her sitting down on the dining chair. “What took you so long?” She asked.

“Sorry, I just needed to get used to going to the bathroom again now that my body is female.” I replied.

“I see, well then let’s go down to it.” She proclaimed. She seems much calmer than earlier. I thought as I sat down the chair opposite from her.

“Let’s start with introductions first, my name is Lumi, my full name is a bit long so just call me Lumi.” She said. I nodded.

“Eden Vasquez, just your regular old human.” I responded. I wonder just what is she? I’ve read a lot of books that had a plot similar to this one, could she be a vampire perhaps? I’ve already seen a lot of insane things yesterday so it couldn’t be too much of a stretch.

If this kind of thing is happening to me, I wonder just what did I do? I’m not good enough to be a protagonist of some sort of novel or anime but I’d at least like to get through this without incident.

I’ve already been gender bent so what worse could it have in store for me. “Okay, Eden then…” She commented.

I’ll just ask her directly… “So, what are you?” I asked.

“Me? Hmm… I think the best way to explain it is that I’m a half-spirit.” She replied.

“A half-spirit?” I muttered.

“I’m kind of like one, after all I’m immortal as far as my life span goes, other than that I am just a regular human like you.” She explained.

“That’s bullshit, what kind of human has monstrous strength like you?” I retorted.

“It’s because I have access to the 2nd dimension.” She responded.

“huh?” I was confused. Is that something like magic?

“Umm… just think of it as a place where I pull more strength from.” She explained.

“That doesn’t make sense?” I tilt my head in confusion.

“It’s really hard to explain, so I’ll tell you about it another time.” She said.

“Okay… well then, I have some things I want to ask.” I asked.

“Sure go ahead.” She agreed.

“Did you fix the damage you caused yesterday? And also did anyone see?” I uttered.

“Yeah, I mostly fixed the damages and erased the memories of anyone who saw us, I figured I’d be troublesome if people knew where I was.” She replied. If you knew it’d be troublesome then why attack me in the first place…?

“I see, then why’d you attack me?” I asked.

“I wanted to test you strength and see your abilities that’s all, not much to it.”

“Why though?”

“Because you’re the one I’ve been searching for.”

Searching for…? Why? “I don’t even know you…” I muttered.

“It’s fine, in fact I’d even be more surprised if you remembered.” She said.

“Did I know you before?” I asked.

“Hmm maybe? Can you get me a glass of water? I’m getting a bit thirsty with you interrogating me like this.”

“Ah, sorry…” I uttered as I stood up and grabbed the water pitcher from the fridge.

“Why were you even searching for someone as worthless as me anyways?” I asked while getting a cup from the drying racks.

“I’ll keep it secret for now, the important thing now is that I’ve found you.” She responded as I filled up the cup of water and put it down in front of her.

“Thanks.” She said as she picks up the cup and drinks the water. I put the water pitcher back into the fridge and sat back down.

“So, what now?” I asked as she finished the entire cup and puts it down.

“I want you to help me.” She replied.

“Help you with what exactly? I’m just a regular human, I don’t have any special powers or abilities like yours.” I explained.

“Hmm… not entirely true, do you not remember everything on what happened yesterday?” She asked.

“Yesterday…” I quietly muttered as I recalled yesterday’s events. Let’s see she killed me and… oh.

“That red wall of liquid was my ability?”

“Yes, and also that regeneration that you did. You used the 2nd dimension purely by your own unconscious will.” She explained.

“What exactly is it? This 2nd dimension you keep mentioning and this ability of mine…” I asked out of curiosity. Is it alright for a scumbag like me to have those kinds of things? Why me? Why is It always me and not other people?

I’m a bad person, surely, I shouldn’t be allowed to have these… So why?

“I’ll tell you if you agree to help me, there’s this rogue spirit, a being like me running around the city for a while now, surely you’ve heard of the murder cases happening, yes?” I recalled the event before the earthquake… Kiara going missing and the mauled victims. I clenched my fist. If I agree to help Lumi, I can question that murderer on whether or not it killed her.

If I don’t then those murder cases will keep happening until Lumi manages to catch it on her own… not to mention I’d have a figure out a way to deal with this new body of mine. Ahhgh! Why am I so indecisive at times like these. Why am I still so selfish…?

“I’ll do it, I’ll help you, but in exchange let me talk to whoever is behind all this before you finish it off, is that fine with you?”

“Yeah, that’s enough.” If this can at least pull out the weight of my heart, my guilt, then I’ll do it.

If I don’t, I’ll just be adding more after all.

“Let’s complete the contract.” She said while I was thinking.

“Contract?”

“It’ll cement that you agreed to help, it’s also for my protection, in case you try and backstab me or you try to back out of it.” She explained.

“I see, then it’s fine, do what you need to do.”

“Then don’t mind if I do…” She stood up and walked over to my side. What are you? I thought but the next moment ours lips suddenly pressed against each other.

In that moment, for me it was like time had stopped as I felt the softness of her lips.

What? I felt confused, shocked, and plenty of other things well up inside me. It was the first time someone did something like this to me. The most physical contact I’ve had with someone was a hug.

As a single tear fell from my eye our lips had parted…

“DNA RESGISTRATION COMPLETE, CONTRACT HAS BEEN SEALED.” I heard a robotic voice come from her but I didn’t pay too much to it.

“Wha-what did you do?” I asked as I touched my own lips recalling that sensation from a moment ago.

“I told you didn’t I? it was to complete the contract.” She replied still smiling without a hint of embarrassment nor shame.

“I-I see… then you should’ve told me before you did it, you almost shocked me to death!” I retorted.

“No need the embarrassed about it, we’re both girls… although technically your soul is still that of male’s but let’s not sweat the small details here, kay?” She spoke.

“Sigh…” For some reason, my heart is beating a lot faster than normal… was it because of that kiss? That was my first kiss… I didn’t think anyone would do that to someone like me.

No… I shouldn’t think about this stuff, it’s out the question for now at-least. Lumi said that it was for her to seal our contract. There was nothing behind it. “Alright, I’m going to get going now, go to this address once I call you.” She said as she threw me a piece of paper.

“Ah.” I uttered as I caught the paper containing the address.

“Wait, do you even know my number?” I asked.

“Yeah good point, what’s your number?” She responded. I don’t know if she’s being a klutz on purpose or what.

I sighed as I pulled out my phone from my pocket and stood up to grab a piece of sticky note on the fridge then took the pen that was in the living. I carefully copied the number of my phone after that I carefully checked it twice to make sure I accidentally wrote down the wrong number.

After confirming that it was the same one, I handed the piece of paper to Lumi.“Here, that’s my number.”

“Thanks.” She said as she took the paper and pulled her phone out from who knows where, while she was wearing that dress. I sighed again, as I noticed that there was a message notification on my phone.

Oh it’s from Mi, let’s see it says… “We’re coming home today, we might get home in the afternoon.” I stood frozen hearing that message. Wait wait wait, weren’t they supposed to come home till tomorrow?! I panicked in my thoughts as I checked the date listed on my phone.

It was currently April 12, 2024.

Two days after the last day of this school year, meaning it’s been a day since I first met Lumi. Oh crap, how am I going to explain that I turned into a girl?! I paced back and forth as an idea popped into my head. I should probably ask to stay at Lumi’s place, she’ll probably accept now that we’re partners yeah? No, no, no, I am a guy and she’s a girl that sort of thing shouldn’t be allowed for me!

Ugh… what do I do, If I just stay here, my parents will get tangled up in this mess, and they’ll see me as a girl of all things. I doubt they’ll recognize me but the thought of being treated as a trespasser or a thief just horrifies me.

I’m out options… “What’s wrong?” Lumi asks as I stop pacing. There’s no other choice, I just have to do it! I thought as I swallowed my saliva.

“Umm… can I stay at your place? Apparently, my parents are coming this afternoon and I can’t continue to live here looking like this.” I meekly asked as I turned away my face in shame.

“Sure, there’s no problem with that.” She agreed.

“Okay thanks, wait here, I’ll go pack my things…” I said as I rushed upstairs. Ugh… I’m an idiot, why was I hoping for everything to work out with no incident when I’ve turned into a girl. Sure, most boys would kill to turn into a girl but I’m not one of them.

This utterly sucks… Once I leave this place, I probably wouldn’t be able to go back to my old life. I wouldn’t be able to continue school next year either. And most of all, I wouldn’t be able to talk to Rose again.

Ah, so this is how it feels to leave everything behind when you die. Let’s try looking at this positively. I now have a reason to run away and even if I wanted to return I couldn’t because I’m a girl now.

This is it! This is what I’ve been hoping for this entire time.

For the person known as Eden Vasquez to disappear from the lives that I have caused trouble with. I’ve essentially had my deepest wish granted.

I’m so happy, but what is this feeling?

This aching feeling that thaw’s away at my heart.

Is this the same one that’s been gnawing at me even before this?

I thought it would go away…

But why? Why is still here? Why is my heart still aching when I’ve achieved what I always wanted to do? To disappear entirely, To stop causing trouble for everyone.

Oh that’s right… there was one more goal isn’t there?

To stop my suffering.

I don’t want this feeling. It feels sour. I don’t understand why I still feel this way even when I’ve already disappeared.

Is it because I’m still alive? Yes, that’s probably it. I don’t deserve to live; I don’t deserve to be alive.

Then, after this is all over… After I finished helping Lumi, I should probably just end it.

To continue what I started three years ago, before Rose stopped me.

I’m glad that Rose stopped me that day, because if I pulled through with it then, I wouldn’t probably be here now to help Lumi, and possibly Kiara if she’s still alive.

I can’t forgive myself for all the things I’ve done in the past but with this, If I ever ended it, I can say I’ve done something good. If I don’t kill myself by the end of this, I’ll probably end up hurting Lumi one way or another.

This is how human relationships are anyways. Even if you find joy in them, the suffering always manages to find its way to you and end up hurt.

This world cruel and unfair, that is the truth of this reality. That is the truth I arrived at.

I’m simply too weak to handle it. That’s why I strived to end it; Rose just ended up postponing my plans because I wanted to believe in her.

I’m such a selfish person, aren’t I? After all that trouble she went through just for me. I ended up turning my back on her. So please, forgive me. That’s all I want, nothing more, nothing less.

I ask of you to forgive me, and just let me end all my suffering. I want to end this as a good person, I know that’s asking a lot but it’s what I want. So that’s why I’ll see this through till the end.

Until I finish helping Lumi.

I’ll hold out till then… no matter how long it takes.