akane minami thing i did like a week ago

I woke up to a small candle lit by the side of my bed, and the sound of the rain.

What time is it? I don't know.

I must have fallen asleep right after going back home, since i was pretty depressed.

Anyone would feel like that if the person they love tells them "I don't need you to be here at all" to their face, right?...

-You awake now?

I sat up, rubbing my eyes, trying to shake off my unconsciousness. The power outage didn't help me at all , making the room feel eerie and silent.

-What time is it? I think i slept a bit too much...

I covered my face as i yawned and fixed my hair.

-9:15. It's pretty late already, and the power goes out...

-Wait, this late?!

I overslept?! Im supposed to go check on Minami, this isn't really the time to be doing dumb stuff like this!

-Sorry, i really have to go somewhere. I'll probably be back with trouble.

-Wait, Akane?!

I quickly put on my shoes and picked up my umbrella, without even taking a look at my face in the mirror and quickly ran as fast as i could towards the convenience store down the street.

I know i got pretty hurt about what she said earlier, but that is no excuse to just forget about what i told her and go back on everything now...

I already feel pretty weak running, so the rain isn't helping me much. I didn't even change out of my uniform.

The only thing that was keeping me going, was the promise that i made to her. I don't want to go back on it. That's the only way i'll get to truly reach her.

After about 5 minutes of running as fast as i could, i arrived to the same bench where we talked earlier today.

I looked around in panic, and i stopped as i saw her, waiting under a dimly lit lamp post across the street.

-Minami!

I called out to her, as my heart was pounding faster with each second.

I ran as fast as i could to the other side of the street.

-Akane?

She whispered my name in confusion as i sheltered her with my umbrella.

-You could have waited in another place, you'll get sick!

Ah..

I was so concerned about her that i started scolding her a little bit.

-Im sorry, im a bit shaken up. I was worried.

I quickly stepped back on what i told her, slightly scared.

-You're that worried despite being late?

She harshly shut me down.

-That is what's making me more worried to begin with?!

-It's fine... If anything, im glad you did end up coming.

She says that... but she doesn't look glad at all.

If anything, she looks.. drained?

No, that's not the word im looking for. Regardless, she doesn't look okay.

-Did something happen before i got here?

She didn't reply at all to me.

-Minami.

I sat down next to her and moved a little bit closer.

-Don't evade the question, please.

-So, if i tell you nothing happened, and that i don't feel good with you around, you'll stop doing this?

She gently took my hand and drew my attention towards it as she spoke softly, yet visibly frustrated.

I made a small gesture with my finger before giving her a dry, yet serious answer.

-I won't.

-Liar.

-Even if you grow to hate me, then it means that i was at least by your side enough for you to hate me.

-And?

For some reason, i calmed down. I've realized, we're truly a pair of stupid girls that have way too much trouble communicating with each other.

So if im the one that has to be honest, then i'll do it.

I've come forward with my feelings, and so will Minami at some point.

-I can't guess how you feel at all. I don't know the "new" you really well, in all honesty, but... im a bit selfish. I want the weak "you" to only rely on me, and i don't want anyone else too see this "you" as much as you do.

Her mouth widened in shock, at my heartfelt answer.

-Wait, are you insane?! That's..

-And what if i am?

I stood up, and left her alone under the same umbrella that was sheltering us from this ugly rain.

-Even if im insane for this, im fine with it. I've thought this entire time, that clinging onto the "Minami" i have on my memories was useless. It brought me a lot of pain, and i've struggled to give true meaning to my feelings, and memories about you for a long time.

Before I could say anything else, I took a moment to truly look at Minami's face, to see the shock on her face, as i realized it probably isn't good for me to keep going with this.

-We should talk somewhere else. Want me to walk you home?

I offered, trying to lighten the mood between us.

But, her eyes were unable to meet mine, as i failed to lighten the mood, interrupting what would essentially be a evasive confession of my feelings towards her.

-Akane, i want to apologize for what i said earlier. I took it out on you when i shouldn't have, and even now, i shouldn't be this obsessed with playing strong in front of you, but...

I nodded and repeated the same gesture she did with my hand earlier, but instead of trying to bring her attention towards it, i just kept silent. I was ready to wait like this for half a hour more if it was what she needed to open up to me.

-I don't have anywhere to go anymore.

I froze up in place.

What do i tell her? I didn't know anything...

I didn't even bother to ask, didn't i?

Wait, no. It doesn't matter right now.

-Can you explain to me how you ended up like this?

She shook her head side to side.

-Alright, listen to me.

I gently held her face with both my hands and forced her to look straight into my eyes.

-It's alright. Im with you, so take a deep breath and keep yourself together. I won't ask any further. I promise you, i'll stay here and i will do anything i can to help you, Minami.

For a moment, Minami seemed to hesitate, as her emotions were probably a mess.

But then, she nodded, her tears hiding with the raindrops as she clinged to me.

I don't have time to be happy about this.

For now, the first thing is getting her out of here.

We were both trembling from the rain, so walking back like this was going to be incredibly hard.

I took Minami's hand, and made sure to not let it go no matter what happened.

The rain didn't let go for a second, but it didn't matter.

I covered her as best as i could with the umbrella, without a single care in the world about how much rain fell down on me.

Before i woke up... i had a dream.

A dream where all i could see, was the crying image of a small Minami.

Her mother was abusive towards her, and saw her as a chip of bargain to get a better life.

She showed no remorse about abandoning and hurting her, and i don't think she ever cared about loving her daughter at all.

Her aunt didn't like her from the start when she moved there, and if i had to guess... she's not making her feel any better. Worst of all, if my fear is true, she just kicked out of her house without a good explanation, and left her to survive on her own, as a 16 year old girl.

Then, her friends have never been able to see past the personality her mother formed on her.

I didn't know any of this back then. I continued to treat her normally, and as i fell in love with her, she probably got more scared by the time being about my feelings being for the person she really wasn't.

And she probably had every right to do so, but even so...

She's always given me a clear sign about her true self.

The face she made when i showed back then.. and the way she cried when we coincidentally ran into each other this year...

Im sure that, the ugly, and unfiltered emotions she showed me back then... im the only person that has seen them, and has accepted them as a part of her.

It might be egotistical of me to think this way, but... if im in the wrong, i'll stay close to her enough until she tells me i am, and pushes me away with hatred.

Because even then, she'd be in the right place to do.

Im not doing a good thing. This girl, still probably has lingering feelings of guilt towards making a mess of my life.

Im sure, she isn't comfortable around me at school, and has trouble deciding which is the right distance towards us.

There's a lot of things about us that aren't really right.

But there's also one truth set in stone, and that the only people we're willing to rely on are each other.

So that's why, i'll take her small, cold hand and give it for once a place where she can at least do as she feels for once.