Chapter 8:

Photos

Flaw


I got there early, but he was already waiting for me. Opening up the door before my driver could.

“He’ll be taking me home.” I say. I turn to him. I’m wearing a causal black and white stripped cocktail dress, and tall black heels. Too late I realize I left my black leather jacket in the car. He hands me his own. I pay for the tickets. It’s a romance sci-fi Aaron won’t stop going on about. Aaron likes a lot of movies. Action mostly. Beck likes sci-fi, and I prefer reality shows, but Aaron said the movie was simple enough to fallow. Beck insists on paying for the snacks. Popcorn, boxes of spicy cinnamon candy, and sodas. We take our seats. The movie was easy to fallow. It was basically a love story told in space with some actions scenes were the alien animals attack the protagonists some times. At the final kiss scene Beck ask if he can hold my hand breaking the silence. I intertwine our fingers. I pay for lunch. Homemade sub sandwiches. Beck’s favorite. We sit on one of the party benches. At one point Beck takes a photo of me.

“You’re so beautiful.” He says. “I hope to write a story about you someday.” I think about my secret. Maybe that’s not such a good idea. Guilt, and shame makes me think.

“Maybe someday. So how is work going.”

“Good. Though this isn’t really what I saw myself doing with my life.” I nod. Though I don’t fully understand. Me, and my Father talked about me going into his line of work from a young age. I just happened to be good at acting, and liked the attention. I loved acting. I loved how people admired, and loved me. It never accrued to me to do, or be anything else. Like it never accrued to me to drop the mask. Just that one time, and it was quickly dismissed. I was only eighteen and wanted to make him, and everyone around me happy. I couldn’t loose them. The denial quickly washed away those sort of thoughts before I could really focus on them. Like before it was as if I hadn’t acustom to at all.

“I like the idea of you wanting photos of me.” I say. That I was that pretty he needed to take his own.

“You just come off so passionate, and confident.”

“You mean emotional.” I say. He laughs.

“That too. You know I used to have a bit of a temper too.”

“Really?” I can’t see it. Passiveness, and having temper might not cancel each other out, but I can’t see it.

“I was really like- I was still figuring out who I was. I can still be pretty short tempered, but it takes a lot to chip at my calm exterior.” I think of my confidence. It’s real, but it is also an exterior too.

“I know what that feels like.” He looks only a little surprised by that. I wonder how much of the real me I should show in the beginning of a relationship. After all I can’t wear make-up around him forever. Father wouldn’t intend for me to do that around my boyfriend. Would he? Not Beck at least. Still I say nothing. I don’t want to loose him. 

Carra Wolf
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