This is Training?!

I didn’t know who was the most shocked. I could have sworn my eyes grew twice as large when the letter finally freed itself, or himself since the voice sounded male, but my parent’s eyes looked normal enough. I certainly wasn’t going to blame them for looking strange at a time like this.

The letter floated until it was roughly eye-level with my parents and folded itself as the letters twisted and turned into the face of… my grandfather? It looked around the room, sniffed as if it smelled something nasty, and sighed. “Right. Of course. It had to be one of those eras…”

“Um… who are you?” I asked since it looked like my parents were still too stunned to move. The letter glared at me.

“What do you mean, who am I? You read the message, didn’t you? We have no time for games, Hero. The fate of your world is at stake!”

“Mhm, I get that. Kind of. I’m not sure why I have to fight a monster just because I opened a bottle.” I also wasn’t sure why the message looked like my grandfather, but I didn’t think he was going to answer all of my questions. My grandfather hated answering questions. And the look on the message’s face somehow encompassed a building rage and resisting rolling its eyes as it repeated what I said.

“You don’t understand that your actions may have doomed your world?”

“All I did was open a bottle. Have you ever seen a bottle with a message inside without opening it? It’s impossible. Those are the best bottles to open besides soda.”

The message shook its head. “I see. You’re one of those…” It looked out the window and muttered, “At least he’s not another talking cat.”

“What’s wrong with talking cats? Cats are fast and have claws… unless they’re de-clawed.” I would have loved to meet a talking cat. I’m sure it would have been better than talking to a grumpy letter.

Said grumpy letter shook itself so hard I was afraid it was going to tear itself apart. “No. No. No! There shall be no more talking about pointless things. We’re already behind schedule. You need to come with me, and”-

“I can’t. I’m pretty sure I’m grounded.” I turned to my parents, but they were just standing there. I poked my dad’s arm and yelped as a static shock leaped between us. “What happened to my parents?!”

The message rolled its eyes. “By the Codes, give me strength! Listen to me, young Hero. Your parents are fine. I simply… paused them in time. This doesn’t concern them, you see. And as I keep saying, we don’t have time to waste. Your world is going to perish at this rate.”

“I thought I had ten days.”

The message stared at me like I was a new kind of fungus, and groaned. “You think you have ten days?”

“That’s what the message said before you… showed up.” The message hummed and closed its eyes. I grabbed my dad’s arm again, but my hand quickly grew numb, so I rubbed it against my shirt while the message sighed.

“I may have to kill him.” The message muttered as he stared at me.

I stared back. “Kill who? The monster?”

“No, that’s your task. And I hate bearing bad news, but the one who wrote the message has made a serious mistake. You don’t have ten days. You have less than ten hours, and that’s still a generous estimation on my part.” The message sighed and muttered. “Why can’t these things stick to the schedule? I’m starting to think someone is cheating!”

“I… have to beat a monster in less than a day?” I looked at the clock, but it was also stuck with the hour hand hovering over the eight. “I have to fight before dinner? Do I still get lunch? I haven’t even had breakfast yet!”

The message nodded solemnly. “That won’t do. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and you’ll need lots of energy. Do you know how to cook anything quickly? Preferably something you can carry? We need to go over your training, and I’d rather do it somewhere we won’t be interrupted.”

“I can grab some Pop-Tarts, but my parents will look for me once they see I’m not here.” I looked at Mom and whispered, “I hope she’ll want to look for me.”

“Your choice of food is acceptable. Grab a box, and let’s be off. Don’t worry about your parents. If you succeed, you’ll be given a rare opportunity on top of the honor of saving your world. And if you lose… well, you won’t have to worry about your parents or anyone again.”

“Was that supposed to be a pep-talk?” I asked as I grabbed a box of Strawberry Pop-Tarts and watched the message float to the back door.

“It is whatever you wish it to be, young Hero. I was not designed to encourage you. I’m merely here to ensure you have a… basic understanding of your situation and help guide you. What you choose to believe or do is entirely out of my hands.”

“You don’t have hands, though.” The message scoffed, glaring at me as the back door opened, revealing a rapidly illuminating view of our backyard. It wasn’t much, just big enough to host a circular table that comfortably seats four, some grass, and a tiny grill that can barely make two burgers at once.

Dad kept promising that we’d have a BBQ before leaving. I clutched the box and tore my eyes away from the grill. Thinking about it wouldn’t do me any good, and I had a more pressing matter to think about. “Do I get any cool powers or weapons?”

“You will receive a raygun that is powerful enough to kill the monster in one blow… Provided you know where to shoot.”

I frowned and tried to look at the message, but it kept speeding up to keep a few feet between us. “How am I supposed to know where to shoot? I’ve never used a gun except in video games. Does it come with a lock-on feature?”

“It does.”

“But?”

This made the message look at me. We were a couple of houses away from home now, but the message continued floating. “What do you mean, but? Aren’t you pleased to hear your new weapon is designed to increase your odds of survival?”

“I am. But you look just like my grandfather, and you even sound like him, too.”

The message turned away and headed toward town. “A mere coincidence. I assure you. There’s no connection between me and your grandfather.”

“Maybe not, but the way you said it makes me think there’s more that you’re not telling. You said the gun is strong enough to kill the monster in one shot, right?”

“I did.”

“How many shots do I get?”

“One. The auto-lock will give you three targets to choose from. One is bound to be the monster’s weakness, but the others should hurt it badly enough for you to try something else.”

“I have to kill a monster, and I only get one shot?!” The message sighed and hovered over a picnic table near what passed for a park in a seaside town. I put my box down and crossed my arms. “That’s not fair. I’m just a kid, and… and the bottle wasn’t even labeled! If opening it was the trigger, then it should have a warning attached to it. Or better yet, not even sent to my world at all!”

“Are you done? I need to deliver the raygun and show you how it works now.”

I couldn’t believe how calm the message was being. “How much training do I need when I only get one shot? Whoever wrote the message and sent you here was an idiot!”

The message chuckled and moved to hover a few inches from my face. “You’re right. He is. And he should. We’ve tried attaching warnings, but you wouldn’t believe how many of those are ignored. It’s like you humans are programmed to do things that lead to your deaths.”

I didn’t know if the message was right. I’ve seen people do dumb things all the time, but something like the fate of the world was a different matter. “What happens if I miss? You said I had three targets. Are they different colors from the rest of the monster’s body?”

The message lightly trailed one of its edges down my arm, making me shiver despite the increasing warmth. “You won’t miss. You might not be able to kill it in one shot, but you won’t miss. Have some faith in yourself, Hero. It… works more often than you’d think.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing. Forget I said that last part. We can talk more about it if you survive the battle.”

“Which is in ten hours, right?”