Determined Incompitance

 I continue my trek down the Canadian Bow river, I admire the scenery as my newest client appears on my Skiff. I allow them to adjust themselves to their seat. It is important to understand the fragile mental and physical state these clients can appear in. Then again I suppose physical isn't the proper word for it, maybe a spiritual state works better.

"Hello, my name is William D. Beak. I will be your guide for today. It is a pleasure to meet you."

I keep a soft tone doing my best not to startle them. My effort to ease the tension doesn't work, I can't say I'm surprised though. This is a very delicate situation to be found in, it is only natural to panic. The client immediately began to speak frantically. They start to spout out the usual ramblings of the recently deceased

"What the hell is going on? I was just in my car a moment ago. Who are you? Did you kidnap me?"

They start to hyperventilate as they finish questioning me. It should be noted that they did not wait for a response before attempting to assault me. They will most certainly be a difficult client. Their attacks do nothing to me as I focus on guiding the skiff. Should I keep their fate ambiguous? Should I threaten her or endure her antics? These are the tough choices I need to face daily. I allow them to thrash about for a moment as I sift through my thoughts. In this scenario, I believe the client would benefit from some clarity so, I decided to break the news rather bluntly. Rip off the bandaid so to speak.

"I can assure you I did not kidnap you. You have died in some traumatic or tragic fashion. I must guide you on your path to meet with the Sub Zei and hopefully the grand judge. One strife at a time for now, do you know how you died?"

The client become even more confused and began throwing out accusations.

"I see. You're some weird cultist, aren't you? You had someone lace my needles and dragged me here to indoctrinate me in your weird religion."

Do I appear as a cultist? I thought my robes would make me look wise to the newly deads. I suppose an update on my fashion would assist with comforting my clients.

"I can assure you I am no cultist. As I've stated, I am William D. Beak. My job is to prepare you for your afterlife adventure. Please take your seat, if you fall off now I will not come back for you."

They won't calm down one bit though they seem to be listening. I continue to talk, maybe I can alleviate some of their stress. The client sits down and fidgets a bit.

"I would like to ask you some questions. Now, these may get personal, but they are crucial for our development. If you continue being a difficult client, then neither of us can move on to the next phase of the afterlife process."

I may have spoken too bluntly, but the client seems to have gotten the message. The client's energy is still anxious, but their vessel is restraining itself for the time being. They stayed quiet for a moment allowing me to ask the first question.

"For starters, what were you doing before your untimely demise? Keep in mind, I don't care about the morality of your actions, but to do my job correctly, I need your honesty."

The air around us grew cold as the daylight faded and became consumed by the night. The client seems to have calmed themselves, for the most part. Progress aside, they keep scratching the same area of their left arm. I've had a fair amount of clients with this exact behavior. With that in mind, if they can't tell me in their own words what is going on, then there is no point confronting them about it. It is also worth noting the various puncture wounds on that arm.

"Given your condition, there is not much I can do to help you clear your mind, you see, in the past, I have not been very successful with helping people under your circumstances. You will need to be handed directly to the Sub-zei. I apologize for not being able to help further."

The client starts to cry and plead with me to send them to heaven. Humans think I have some say in where they go. Do they not teach each other what happens after death? To my knowledge, the dead get to come to earth now and then to reconnect with their loved ones. Yet another question I'll need to ask my higher-ups.

"Please don't send me to hell! I know I messed up but I repent now! you're a god, aren't you? Can't you see the regret in my heart?"

Yet another misunderstanding, I thought it was obvious by now that I am not a god in any sense. I should get a name tag to help clear these misunderstandings up before it escalates. Yet another request from me to the Sub-Zei.

"I am no god of any kind and I won't pretend to be one, please calm yourself. You are being sent to someone who can help you much better than I can. Be sure, to tell the truth and all will be well. Try to close your eyes and slow your breathing."

I am trying out a new strategy to soothe the client, of course, they don't need to breathe given that they're dead but maybe the act of "slow breathing" would help them calm down. The client does as instructed, good, now the offering is ready. I spoke out loud, I don't shout because I know that the Sub-Zei can hear me, they always hear me.

"Sub-Zei of the realm of purgatory my client has now calmed themself and is ready to be seen by you, though I did my best I still recognize the client's doubts, sins, and hesitation, I offer the client to you to have them be judged."

The client and I wait in silence for a moment. The Sub-Zei must be conversing with each other, that's a good sign. When this happens it means that the client is going to get their judgment right here on the spot. I wonder what the consensus will be.

After around ten minutes of silent waiting the client starts screaming in agony.

"Ahhh! You said I would be fine! I'm not a bad person!"

"Ah, so it looks like they have agreed that it was faster than usual. You should be happy with this quick development."

"Happy? You want me to be happy! You're sending me to hell! Who knows what they'll do to me down there, you're a monster! I hope you-"

Before they could finish that last bit the client's body starts falling apart as the hell flame burns through them. This is where my part of the process is done. I stay quiet as I guide the skiff through the calm waters, only the piercing screams of agony from the client pollute the quiet of the surrounding nature. Soon the peaceful quiet is restored as the client's body is burnt to ash.

"Thank you for your quick decision. I will strive to help my next client well enough to where we don't need to resort to such distractions."

When I finish thanking the Sub-Zei I am granted a short break to enjoy the scenery and the noises of nature, this must be the calm before the storm as they say. I cannot wait to see what is waiting for me next.