Jeremy, the cat, and Love!

To say Bizzaro Magica and Oddities is aptly named is an understatement. Everywhere Jeremy looked, he could see stalls filled with food, clothes, tools, and an assortment of things he couldn’t begin to describe. But the stalls didn’t hold his attention for long. Jeremy couldn’t stop staring at the people.

None of them looked human, yet Jeremy felt like he could understand them. A minotaur was pushing a baby carriage while looking at vegetables a few feet away from him, and a two-headed snake was handing out balloons that turned into different animals every few seconds.

It was something out of a dream. The kind of thing Jeremy loves to see in movies and video games. But this is real. I’m actually in Bizzaro Magica, and- He winced, feeling the cat’s claws cut through his jeans, making him jump, almost bumping into a cloud-shaped octopus handing out newspapers and brochures.

“Whoops, sorry.” I glared at the cat as the octopus walked away with a huff. “What was that for, kitty? You can’t just use my leg as a scratching post whenever you want. My mom will kill me if I ruin another pair of jeans!”

The cat shrugged. “I thought you wanted to find the truth. Wouldn’t you like to see a transaction in progress?”

That cut through everything Jeremy had planned to say. “Is that possible? I thought wish granting would be more… personal. Or at least private.”

“Your wish is to discover the truth. You can watch someone’s transaction as long as they’re willing. What kind of wish do you want to see?”

Jeremy looked around the stalls and shrugged. “Well, I guess it couldn’t hurt to see something wholesome. Everybody likes love. Are there any stalls around here that sell love potions?”

The cat scoffed. “Love potions are for the desperate and foolish. The services we provide are far greater. Come with me. There’s a girl looking for her soulmate right now.”

“Really? Wait!” The cat took off, effortlessly ducking and weaving through a sea of legs, tentacles, and things Jeremy didn’t want to see as he struggled to keep up. How is anyone supposed to get around like this? The website made it sound like you’d find what you’re looking for right away.

Jeremy brushed past a walking baseball bat and sighed in relief to see the cat sitting down across from a girl with glowing magma skin, hair made of starlight, and eyes like diamonds. I guess that must be her, but why would someone that gorgeous need to come to a place like this to find someone to love?

The cat twitched its ear and pointed its tail at him. “This is the truthseeker I was telling you about, Luminara. Will you permit him to observe and document your transaction today?”

The girl, Lumninara, turned to Jeremy, and he had to fight back a gasp as a torrent of ice wrapped around him before melting away seconds later. What was that? I get that she’s not human, but seriously, what was that? Luminara sighed and slowly nodded. “I suppose there’s no shame in such things now. This will be my last day, after all.”

The cat nodded solemnly. “We appreciate you taking the time to help us, Luminara. Are you ready to claim what you desire?”

“Yes. I want to get it over with as soon as possible.” She bowed to Jeremy, a sad smile tugging at her lips as she continued. “Thank you for coming. I’ll try not to let my wish bore you, um…?”

He blushed. “My name is Jeremy. Thanks for letting me do this. Um, would it be alright if I interviewed you?”

“Interview?”

“Yeah. I brought my phone. It has this really sweet recording app on it. I promise you can skip any questions you want, and you’ll have the final say in which parts I use. How does that sound?” I pulled out my phone and showed it to her, but she didn’t take it.

“I … don’t mind answering questions. I’m also unfamiliar with that device you’re holding.”

I wanted to slap myself but rubbed the back of my neck instead. “Oh, I’m sorry. Phones are one of the most common things you can find where I’m from. But, can I ask how you found out about Bizarro Magica and what made you decide to come?”

Luminara shrugged and patted the sit across from her, waiting until I sat down before tapping her chin and looking at the sky. “My moon told me about this place. She said I’d find what I’m looking for. So, I came.”

I looked between her and the cat in confusion. She can’t mean… “I’m sorry. Your moon told you about this place?”

“That’s correct.”

“And your moon is…” I pointed at the sky hesitantly. “A moon?”

“Yes, my moon orbits me three times for every cycle of my rotation. Do the moons where you’re from behave differently?”

“Well uh… I don’t have a moon, myself. But my planet does!... Um, are you…?”

“I’m a planet from Quadrant 9807645 East and 11038420 South.”

She’s a planet? Jeremy almost dropped his phone in shock. Planets are alive? This girl is a planet, and she’s looking for love just like a human?! The cat raised a paw threateningly. “Behave yourself, boy. Luminara came a long way to get her wish, and you’ve barely begun to appreciate the situation you’re in. Are you satisfied with two questions, or do you need more?”

Jeremy shook his head and folded his hands under his chin as he turned to Luminara. “Sorry about that. I’ve never spoken to a planet before. Is it alright if we continue?”

“We may. Although I’m not surprised, you’ve never spoken to a planet before. Most beings don’t, even when they claim to be protecting their planets. There’s no need for you to feel bad, Jeremy.”

“Thanks for that. Okay, next question is…” Jeremy took a deep breath. Hopefully, this doesn’t upset her. “Could you tell me exactly what your wish is and why you decided to come here instead of using other methods to get it?”

Luminara frowned, hair whipping past her face in an unfelt breeze as Jeremy waited. Was that too personal? But there’s no way I can avoid asking that. The cat began washing its face. “Take all the time you need, Luminara. The Bizzaro Magica and Oddities will wait until it has satisfied your wish.”

“Thank you.” She lightly tapped the top of the cat’s head, making it purr as steam rose from its fur. Jeremy fought the urge to pet it. He didn’t want to get scratched again, and the thought of touching Luminara’s hand was… inviting. Scary but inviting. How can a planet be here and act like a person? Can every planet do that? What happens to the people, plants, and animals on said planet?

A million questions fought to get past his lips, but Jeremy held back. He came here to do a job. Luminara was being kind in helping him. He didn’t want to offend her and find someone else. He wanted to know more about her and what she was interested in. Everything else could wait until her wish was granted… even his own.

“My wish is to meet my soulmate. I’ve tried waiting. I’ve tried asking others for help. I’m tired of being disappointed, and I’m running out of time. I must meet them before the day ends. I’m told I already possess the proper payment, so this will be the ending I desire. Does that satisfy you, Jeremy?”

Jeremy’s finger hovered over the pause button as he processed her words. The way she’s talking… “Luminara?”

“Yes?”

“This next question… You don’t have to answer it, and I’m sorry in advance if it upsets you, but… Is everything alright? I understand wanting to find true love and all, but the way you’ve been phrasing it is…”

Luminara smiled sadly. “My core has begun to collapse. My body is imploding even as we speak. I want to meet the one I’m destined to be with. I wish to see what kind of person they are and, if possible. I’d like them to know my name before I go. My actions may harm them. They will have to carry on and try to find someone else, after all. But this is my wish. My final wish. I embrace this selfish act because I won’t be able to embrace my soulmate once I’m gone. You haven’t offended me. Did you have anything else to ask?”

Jeremy shook his head. “No…” How can I ask anything after hearing that? My problems are nothing compared to hers, but…

Luminara rose far too fluidly to be considered human, as she said. “Then, the only thing left to do is show you my wish being granted, right? Perhaps my experience will prepare you for yours.”

“I don’t know about that, but…”