Super Jester bros super shitshow

The next morning, everyone headed down for breakfast.

"So Eriza ran out?" Emeri asked.

"Yeah, I saw her sneak out. She didn't come back either," Madoka stated.

"Your sister's tracking her right?"

"Yeah, so I guess we won't be having breakfast together. Welp, guess I'll order some birthday milk."

“I still can’t believe you can just heal up like that simply by drinking milk,” Yuni stated.

“Well, Ginkawa milk works the best, but normal milk can work in large quantities. Of course if we lose a hand or half our skull, no amount of milk will restore that. Though Tetsuka-nee-chan’s probably the only exception. She can easily regenerate any lost body parts. Though getting back to the milk, it sadly only works if you have Ginkawa blood. Some members of the family tried to experiment to see if they could gift the ability to those without Ginkawa blood, but it ended in failure. But, Ginkawa milk is safe for non-Ginkawa consumption and it even has some healing qualities too, so I guess there's that."

"Guess that explains why it tasted so good," Serika shrugged.

After finishing breakfast, the girls decided to go out and do some sightseeing. As they were, they ran into Eriza.

"Hey sis, I was looking for you. Wanna come to a famous pizza place? Tetsuka's already there."

Compared to how she was before, she was much cheerier and much like her old self.

"Well, if Tetsuka-nee-chan's there I guess it's OK," Madoka nodded.

The four followed Eriza until they reached a pizza parlor by the canal. The sign read, "Pistachio Pizza". Madoka quickly recognized the place as the famous pizzeria owned by Pistachio Ragu, a famous Italian chef who once fought against a giant pizza ghost in Pisa.

"I already put in the reservation, so take a seat. I'm gonna do another lap," Eriza waved as she ran off.

"She's almost acting like normal," Emeri sighed as she took a seat.

Once everyone was seated, two men dressed in hats and overalls leapt out and posed before the table.

“No way! It’s Marco and Leo!” Madoka gasped.

“They do look like them, but I think the Marco guy looks more like Warco with that bod and the pointy red shoes,” Serika grumbled.

“It’s also hard to see their faces, though we probably shouldn’t be too critical. They’re most likely paid actors,” Yuni whispered.

The shorter man then lifted up his cap. “IT’S A ME! JESTER! BUWAHAHAHAHA!”

Before the girls could react, the table exploded into gooey pizza dough, completely immobilizing all of them.

"HOW THE HELL DIDN'T YOU DETECT THIS!?" Serika fumed.

"Sorry, it wasn't lethal or super harmful, so my danger sense didn't trigger," Madoka cried.

"No wonder you always get kidnapped!"

“Buwahahahaha! NOW, you won’t be going anywhere while I sing my NEW intro song. Vincenzo! Hit the start button,” Jester ordered.

The other man, revealed to be Vincenzo, lifted up his cap before sighing and playing the song.

A familiar jingle from a famous video game played as Jester began rapping.

“YOYOI! We’re super Jester brothers, though we’re from other mothers. We go around the world and make your head swirl. When you’re on the brink of death, we throw ya in the hearth. We're stronger then the others now you’ll fear the super brothers. Uh! Da da da-“

“No brother! That jingle is copyrighted!”

“Who cares! It's intellectual property and I'm intellectual so it's MY property!"

“Aiyaiyai we’re gonna get sued.”

“YOYOI! Get ready to bleat cause you're gonna get beat. Get ready for a spicy meatball of a death. I’ll cover ya in pasta, bake ya in a pizza, hang ya up high while ya fear the super brothers and you scream! Da da da- "

“I’m telling ya, they’re gonnna sue us."

"Bring it! They sue me, I execute them.”

"Don’t get mad if those ninjas show up.”

"Well f*** you Leo- Ah it's my cue! I said feeeear da Jester brothers!”

After completing his parody of a certain song, Jester and Vincenzo gagged the girls and dragged them into the pizza shop.

“Welcome to Jester’s kitchen! Today, we’re gonna turn you into pizza girls!” Jester laughed as he began drenching the girls marinara, and liquid cheese.

The girls all let out muffled screams as they became even stickier and struggled to breath.

“Now we just chuck em in the oven and wait till they're cooked.”

“But brother, what if the owner comes back?”

“I told that dumbass a flying pizza would destroy his shop with an ICBM if he didn’t get to Pisa. That’s on the other end of the country, no way he’ll be back. Besides, even if he does somehow make it back, we’ll just say he murdered the girls.”

Suddenly, someone entered the shop.

“Doka! You in here!? My watch was goin' nuts and said ya were here!” Tetsuka called out.

Jester and Vincenzo turned around. 

“Who’re you? WHOA! SEXY MUSCLES!? NICE BODY!? Are you a sports model?”

“Who the hell are you two clowns? Anyway, seen a girl that looks just like me, but with shorter hair?” Tetsuka asked.

Vincenzo’s expression went cold as he pulled out his gun and fired multiple shots at Tetsuka’s face.

“Brother, I’m sorry, but she needed to be taken down quickly. We’d- HUH!?

Vincenzo and Jester gaped in horror as Tetsuka leaned her head back. She had all the bullets Vincenzo had fired at her in her mouth. What terrified them more is that she then ate all of them.

“Heh, so you’re those Illumous clowns I heard about. Welp, time for an assbeating.”

Tetsuka grabbed the two and tossed them in the air before kicking them both in the stomach, sending them crashed through the building and into the canal. Satisfied with her work, Tetsuka quickly freed Madoka and the others.

Jester and Vincenzo began crawling out of the canal, but quickly found themselves surrounded by a group of men in suits. “Hello, we’re from Wintendo. We heard you ripped off our music,” the leader angrily smiled as he cracked his knuckles.

“Oh no, I told you this would happen!” Vincenzo screamed as he and Jester desperately began swimming away.

“F*** YOU MADOKA!” Jester screamed as the leader sent him and Vincenzo flying with a single punch.

"Thought ya said ya wanted to have breakfast, not become breakfast. So everyone good?" Tetsuka asked.

"Did you have to eat the dough off us?" Serika grumbled.

"Only way. I was careful considerin' you all look intact."

"Ugh, I'm gonna need to shower," Yuni groaned as she wiped the excess pizza toppings off her.

“I had no idea you were so strong,” Emeri nodded.

“Well, I do train like crazy. I’ll keep watch for those creeps, though I doubt they’ll bother us considerin' they were paddilin' away like crazy from some guys in suits,” Tetsuka chuckled.

“Losers must’ve gotten struck by the Wintendo ninjas,” Madoka snickered as she gave a middle finger salute.

"But why were ya even here? I get this place is a hot tourist spot, but it doesn't open till 11."

Madoka explained how Eriza had led them there, before running off.

"So just like we thought. That girl's surprisingly fast, but then again, I'm more the power-type. Guess I'll stick with ya while ya tour the place. I can even point some sights out."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm actually pretty well versed in knowledge thanks to all the traveling I've done. Now how bout I show ya some good sights."