Kill Time (2)

“I waited for a reaction for years, and I almost came to believe the naysayers who called her ‘a lost cause’. She held back her pain for so long without anyone understanding... This is not the ideal context, but I am happy to see that she is finally releasing her emotions.”

The kindness of his words reminded me of Big Brother’s tenderness. Just as I longed to see my elder brother again, Edwoyn wished to see his mother rid of her burden. As I thought about it, a sudden heaviness settled on my shoulders. I remembered.

I too had wanted to free someone from their burden. That crushing weight consisted of duties, obligations, all the rigid constraints imposed by his family. A weight that bound Big Brother and deprived him of his youth. His smile and kindness towards me remained unchanged even as they beat him with sticks when he approached me. The adults said I was hindering his education, that I was a bad influence.

The adults always had the last word. Their word was absolute. They eventually separated us, locking us in our respective cages.

I was a burden, I thought for a long time.

Poor girl, you should not have listened to them! The only burden in this story is the corrupt nobles and their greed.

I had never spoken to Big Brother about it, but I had discovered what he was enduring. The bruises he hid with his illusion magic. He lied to keep me from worrying, but I knew him too well not to see the truth. The truth hadn’t escaped the adults either, who increasingly restricted his freedoms.

Despite the escalating punishments, he always chose to use magic to secretly come see me. He claimed it was unworthy to leave a young lady in solitude. That it was proof that soulmates couldn't be separated.

If only I hadn’t been so weak…!

The present instant hit me like a slap in the face once again. Big Brother’s traces had vanished in the blink of an eye. We let the images from the magic terminal’s screen fill the ambient void. For once, we shared something: the need to save someone dear to us.

I was almost jealous that Edwoyn could see his mother on the news. As for me, I no longer remembered what Big Brother looked like and had nothing to remind me. When I imagined him, his face was always blurred and scratched out. He always wore a nightshirt covered in blood and called me “Young Lady”…

With the little information I had, Big Brother could have been any boy, except for his silver hair, which were unique. By now, he must have changed, grown up, dyed his hair, or left the country... I desperately needed more memories, otherwise I would never know what model to base my new Big Brother on.

You don't realize how lucky you are, prince...

~~~~

This kingdom had been steeped in corruption since time immemorial.

The greatest noble families had been clawing at each other in a thirst for power for generations, never managing to elect a sovereign. Even though the Gasencourts had eventually triumphed over all the other aristocrats by claiming to bring peace, they were no exception. They were probably the worst of their kind, otherwise they wouldn't have emerged victorious from this carnage.

For a few crumbs of power, they were willing to do anything. Starting with how they deprived their son, Nathan, of his free will. That kid was nothing more than a sacrifice; they hadn't even genuinely sought to bring him justice.

And they claimed to work for so-called prosperity? Pfff, it was all nonsense, smoke and mirrors, meant to pacify the citizens and continue their schemes.

We think we know people only to realize they are completely different... Some ignorant people might guess that being a prince was not just the idealized show presented to us in public or in the media. It must have been a life of constant resignation for the sake of others. A sort of bubble so oppressed that it threatened to burst from all sides.

When the report ended and began to loop again, I asked “Do you miss your mother? Is that why you wanted to see her on screen?”

Not knowing what to say with so much to express, he broke down in tears.

“Of course! She’s the only person I love in this world full of hypocrites! She’s the only one who has never asked anything of me. You all claim to love me, but what you really love is manipulating me for your own interests!”

I had the merit of not pretending otherwise. In the end, I was in the same boat as all those scoundrels: I only thought about my own interests. It was true that I was constantly manipulating, to the point of having accumulated unparalleled experience in that field.

But I never target innocents.

After meeting the prince, I learned that nothing is more painful than having those we love torn away from us. However, once freed from that weakness, we become invincible.

I had the misfortune of becoming invincible, having transcended Death itself. Now, I would teach this fallen prince how to join me in the depths of the maelstrom of power. For that, one needed conviction and a goal. Suffering and rage. One had to break free from limitations and forge ahead through an infernal storm without ever questioning oneself.

“You’re right: this world full of hypocrites. That’s exactly why you need to punish those selfish people who corrupt our kingdom. Your kingdom. No one deserves to be separated from those they love. You must save your mother, and I will help you.”

I knew he was ready to hear my proposal for an alliance now.

You’re right; we are on the same side. Fighting each other over a small difference in perspective is foolish.

He was finally ready to make sacrifices and would no longer resist fleeing from his responsibilities. I had given him a reason to fight with us: I had presented him with the most enticing reward. With that, he would follow me with his eyes closed!

“I am so ashamed… I abandoned Mother to the clutches of those vengeful politicians! What will become of her?”

By your side, loneliness will be nothing more than a distant memory. Don’t worry; with a bit of luck, her suffering will be shortened, and you can then focus on what truly matters.

“I don’t know. The only thing I can offer you is the strength to go save her. But to succeed, you must stack all the odds in your favor. You will only be able to see her again if you rid the government that oppresses her.”

The doe swiftly turned off the screen and gave me his full attention. His gaze, devoid of humanity, locked onto mine with no restraint or diversion... Despite his position of weakness, his determination was ruthless.

“I want you to teach me how to become strong. I will use this second chance to free Mother and the entire kingdom from their vile politics!”

“Even if you need to learn a bit of magic...?”

“You know very well that it's essential to face the army if I have to go rescue Mother from the palace.”

What a dreamer! You would need to be very obedient for me to bother rescuing her if it's not too late. Know that you will never be able to live with her, because you will give your place to Big Brother…

This time, I had succeeded in my plan, even though it hadn’t gone as I had imagined: it was better than I had predicted!

He still refused to kill, but a small mistake during a mission was enough to fall into depravity. No one was safe from an accidental murder... As soon as he crossed that line, I would be certain he would be one of us, a true member of the Killing Wind until Death parted us.

I would, of course, have him undergo the mercenary honor code test in the meantime, and everything would return to normal. As an old saying goes, ‘one person’s misfortune is another’s happiness.’ While the feeble prince wallowed in despair, I was increasingly satisfied.

“Rest, you’re at the end of your nerves. Do you want me to give you something to sleep without torment?”

Edwoyn shook his head. I could now see him better as my eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness. Having nothing more to say to him, I took my leave, “If you need me, you know where to find me.”

“Okay.”

How many times had he watched that evening news cycle endlessly?

I left him to the solitude and darkness he requested, quietly withdrawing from the room. Thus, I returned to my bed and my boredom. I couldn't help but let a small, malevolent smile brighten my face. It slowly faded as my consciousness returned.

I miss you so much… Big Brother.