Happiness: Without You

It’s probably been a good year since I’ve shown up at any school this early… Katsumi slid open the classroom door and was met by a completely empty classroom. It makes me… sad, in a way. I don’t really know how to describe it.

His attention was focused on the empty desk next to his.

“God damnit…” He sighed

Katsumi set his bag on his desk, then sitting down, he laid his head on top of the bag.

A little more rest couldn’t hurt.

“Murakami—”

“Not… yet mom— school hasn’t… started yet.”

“Murakami? What are you saying?”

Katsumi sprung up. “O-oh, uhm, Nakagawa. Good morning.”

There were now a few students scattered around the classroom, including Yui. She leaned against Katsumi’s desk and gave him a small smile.

“Good morning… Uhm, are you feeling better? I don’t know if that’s what I should ask. I still don't really know what happened…”

Why on earth is Nakagawa checking-up on me? “I mean yeah, I’m doing better… I guess.”

“And you’re not on any—”

“Woah-woah-woah, Nakagawa, you shouldn’t really bring that up… ever.”

“I kinda figured. But I have like, no idea what it looks like when someone is… ya know… so I was just asking.”

They really did see all that stuff on Saturday. Part of me was really hoping I was just hallucinating. “Ah… well, it’s something that Arata and I have been figuring out. Everything’s all good.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask Yumi about that. But—” Yui hesitated. “What’s going on with you two?”

That’s what I want to know too. “I don’t think anything is anymore.”

Yui remained silent, giving Katsumi a confused look—prompting Katsumi to continue.

“For the last three weeks she’s been helping me… in a way. But after what happened Saturday, I think she’s gonna keep her distance for now on.”

“That’s a terrible way of putting it, Murakami.” Yui frowned.

“Huh?”

“I already kinda pieced together what was happening. I just wanted to hear it from you.”

Katsumi stared at Yui dumbfounded.

“You know, I could see you were dense, but I never imagined you were this unaware.” While Yui’s words sounded harsh, Katsumi knew that’s not how she meant it. Because in his opinion, it’s simply not in Yui’s character to attack someone like that.

“Murakami… What happened Saturday really scared me. But… I remember how you used to be, that’s why I don’t believe that’s who you are.”

“Nakagawa, you’re really confusing me,” Katsumi tried to sound genuine in his confusion.

“I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.” Yui frowned.

Just as their conversation came to a stalemate of sorts, two other students entered the classroom and cheerfully greeted Yui.

Yui pushed herself off Katsumi’s desk with a smile and went to join the two newcomers.

Katsumi put his head back down. I wish I didn’t know what she was talking about… I’ve been told it all before.

“Don’t forget about the presentations tomorrow! Enjoy your evenings everyone!” Hasegawa-sensei picked up and straightened some papers.

He just dismissed his last lecture for the day—also being Katsumi’s last class for the day. As students filed out of the hall, Katsumi joined the crowd. When he passed the front of the classroom, the last voice he wanted to hear called out to him.

“Except for you, Murakami, come to the staff-room in thirty minutes. I have a job for you,” Hasegawa-sensei said.

With a reluctant sigh, Katsumi agreed.

I can’t stand doing stuff for that shitty professor. I wouldn’t mind if it was anyone else, but this guy has it out for me. Katsumi grumbled as he opened the door to the staff-room.

Hasegawa-sensei was currently having a conversation with a girl who’s back was turned to Katsumi. Even though he couldn’t see her face, he quickly figured out who it was by her brown hair.

There is no god… I don’t think Hasegawa-sensei has seen me, I can still turn and leave—

“Murakami, come over here.”

Damnit.

Hearing this name, Saki turned around with a scowl. She whipped back around to Hasegawa-sensei. “Him!? I have to do this with him!?”

“Yes, yes you do. It’s good for you. Learning how to work with people you don’t like is an important skill.”

“There’s no way! Not in a million years could I work with him!” Saki gripped her hair, she looked on the verge of insanity.

Hasegawa-sensei ignored her further comments and focused on Katsumi. “Murakami, you and Akito are going to be hauling around some equipment for the Volleyball teams. They both have upcoming games.”

“Eh? Why us? We aren’t related to the teams at all.”

“Well I’m the head coach for the Volleyball team, so I get to make the decisions. And I decided on you two because I felt like it.”

He really wants to mess with me. That’s pure evil!

Saki butted back into the conversation. “But why?”

Hasegawa-sensei pushed up his glasses. “I’ve overheard some people talking about how you two talk to and treat each other. I think that this could improve your relationship.”

“There’s—”

“Nope, don’t want to hear it, Akito.” Hasegawa-sensei cut off Saki. “Get to work.”

“...Yes sensei.” The girl grumbled in response.

The two stepped out of the staff-room, Saki shutting the door behind them.

“You know, this is actually a good chance. I’ve been wanting to have a talk with you.” Saki crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at Katsumi.

“It feels like everyone does.” There was barely any emotion behind his voice.

“What’d you mean by that?””

They started their walk to the equipment storage on the other side of the university’s grounds.

“Nothing, nothing… What do you wanna say?”

“I want you to stay away from Yumi,” Saki said curtly, “I still don’t really fully understand what I saw on Saturday, but it’s something that should be kept far away from her. And while you’re at it, all people..”

“Mhm.”

“I don’t know how for the past weeks you’ve been successfully convincing her to be around you, but it’s gotta stop. At a certain point I’m going to start believing you’re black-mailing her.”

“Yeah.”

“She hasn’t been talking at all… Today she barely even said a word to anyone. Even when Yui tried to cheer her up. She’s been way more cut and dry cut than usual.”

“Sure.”

“So I want you to stay away from her. You’ve clearly been a terrible influence on her. She hasn’t been acting like herself, and it’s your fault.” Saki finished her small speech sounding triumphant—that was until Katsumi let out his fourth one word response.

“Yeah.”

“Are you even listening to me!?”

“No. Not particularly.”

Disgust was plastered on Saki’s face.

“All you do is spew nonsense, so why should I listen?” To Katsumi, this was partially the truth.

She stared at him for a bit longer before turning back ahead. “I hate you.”

The two arrived at the equipment-storage in silence.

While undoing the lock to the storage building Katsumi spoke up. “I didn’t care to listen because none of what you said is true.”

“Don’t try to pull that shit with me, Murakami.”

Katsumi finally managed to undo the lock and pushed the large sliding-doors open. “She’s the one that approached me first. The one that almost everyday has been trying to involve herself with me.”

Saki glared at him.

“It’s her fault she got hurt… Even after—”

“Excuse me?” Saki cut him off. “How can you say such a blatant lie so casually?”

“No, it’s not a lie. You can ask Arata herself, she’ll tell you the same thing I did. She’s the one that keeps coming to me. She knew she could get hurt but kept coming back.”

“There’s no way…”

They each grabbed two posts that were used to build the volleyball nets and held them under their arms.

“Murakami, it really doesn’t matter who wants to keep involved with who, it’s the fact that you’re a danger to her.”

“Danger…?” He said under his breath.

“I don’t really know what to say. I know I didn’t see all of what happened on Saturday because she hasn’t been acting the same since. What you must’ve done really damaged her.”

Don’t think that I don’t know that.

“You really hurt her. And with what she’s been through, I don’t want to see her go through more pain.”

You’re talking like I don’t have sympathy. Like I couldn’t see that she’s been lost for the past few days.

“You’re a danger to her Murakami—”

“Don’t talk like I don’t realize that…”

“What?”

Katsumi slammed his metal posts onto the ground. “Don’t act like I don’t know I’m hurting her!”

Saki’s eyes widened.

“Don’t stand there talking all high and mighty, pretending that I want to hurt her! I don’t want to! I’m not some crazy person that wants to hurt people! I don’t want to be the one to make her cry! To make her regret what she’s doing! I can’t stand seeing her like this…”

Katsumi cast his gaze downward. “Don’t act like I don't care… I do…”

Saki had dropped her poles too. She reached out her hand.

Katsumi stared into Saki’s eyes, tears welling up in the corners of his. He opened his mouth but no words came out.

He shut it and stormed off.

“I’m sorry…” Saki said to his back.

Saki quietly finished the job without complaining to Hasegawa-sensei about Katsumi leaving.