It Starts With You: Makoto & Kaede

“There’s really no inside smoking area…?”

The time was almost two in the morning, everyone else was asleep—except for Kaede. She’d always been more of a night person. This might’ve been exemplified by her office job, but she’d been this way most of her life.

She sat up against the hallway-wall outside her room. In one hand she grasped her cell phone, using it as a light source, and in the other, a map of the hotel. 

It’s going to be freezing outside… Is it really worth it? I can just go back to sleep, I don't need to...

Kaede pressed the back of her head against the wall so she was staring at the ceiling.

I do need it...

Kaede wandered through the hotel until she found a side-door leading to an outside patio.

If anyone saw me right now they’d probably think I’m crazy. Sitting outside in the rain, in the middle of the night…

She looked down at herself to see what she was wearing.

The combination of the checkered pajama pants, tank top, and creased blazer isn’t a good look for me. She smiled to herself.

Kaede sat on the dry concrete step under the door’s awning. She took a pack of cigarettes out of her blazer along with a lighter.

I probably am crazy. I’m the one that made the choice to come out here. I could’ve gone back to the room and fallen asleep to the sound of rain. But I chose to walk out this door and sit on this step…

The rain fell by itself. No harsh winds or thunder accompanied it, making for the perfect night to sleep. In Kaede’s case, it was perfect for enjoying her solitude.

It’s calming though… It almost feels like the rain is telling me it’s alright… I think I’ve lost it, the rain is talking to me…

After clicking the lighter once, it produced a flame. She held it to her cigarette, the tip turning red and orange.

She blew smoke out of her mouth and watched as it lazily faded away

It reminds me of something. Like being back in high school sort of… When our class took that trip to the mountains. The first night there it rained just like this. Being so excited for just a weekend long trip was an amazing feeling. Back then we all over thought things, always lived in the moment but wished to grow up quicker. To us that trip was probably the biggest thing that had happened to any of us at that point in our lives. It was much simpler back then and we couldn’t see that. We were so free… I think anyone my age would go back to high school, even for a day, if they were given the opportunity.

Kaede was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of the door opening behind her.

She quickly spun around in surprise.

Standing in the doorway was a disheveled man wearing gym shorts and a wrinkled white shirt.

“Matsushita?”

“You’re the last person I was hoping to see when I came out here…”

Kaede turned back around to face the rain. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “Just drop that… I’m not in the mood.”

Makoto sat down next to her. “So we don’t hate each other right now?”

“No… not right now…”

“Does seeing Arata and Katsumi make you miss being younger too?”

“How’d you know?” Kaede turned her head towards Makoto and gave a faint smile.

“I think seeing those two right now would make any adult wish they could go back… And most people don’t come outside on a rainy night like this to smoke.”

“I knew I was crazy.”

“I don’t think you’re crazy for being nostalgic about your childhood.”

“Don’t say it like that. It makes me feel old.”

“You’re not alone in that...”

The two stared ahead at the rain in silence for a brief moment.

“How old are you Matsushita?”

“Twenty-five.”

“Ha—” Kaede laughed out loud. “You’re still young and attractive. And still possibly in university too, right? You don’t know what it’s like being my age.”

“I guess you’re right about that… But I feel much older than I am.”

“Hm?”

Makoto gestured for a cigarette from Kaede. She took out her carton and handed one to Makoto. He put the cigarette in between his lips and Kaede pulled out the lighter. With a few clicks, it lit.

“I feel burnt out already… I have no idea how you do it. I graduated from university three years ago now and have been working in a typical office for about two. Even if I’m only twenty-five, I feel and act like I’m in my late forties. Whenever I look back on my high school days it feels like a lifetime ago.”

“You graduated university in three years?”

“I really don’t mean to sound full of myself but, yeah. Despite how I seem, I was top of my class and all that stuff.”

Kaede smiled. “That’s funny.”

“Yeah… All that honors stuff and only focusing on school when you’re younger really leads to a sad life. When I look back on those days all I really remember is studying.”

The rain picked up a little.

“Did you ever have a high school romance Matsushita?”

“I did. But none of them were anything special… With all the studying I did I never really had time for it.”

“I think you should hold those times as special though. Relationships when you're twenty, thirty, or even forty are all the same. You always have to deal with adult problems. Those high school romances are so much more exciting, because you’re kids. You don’t have to really worry about anything at that age. And you know next to nothing about people, so trying to understand each other is a challenge in itself.”

“It’s nice to think like that, but that’s just it, an idea.”

Kaede gave Makoto a sideways glance.

“Monday we’ll have to go back to Kashiwa, go to bed early, get up early, and get ready for the same office job.”

“I think you look at it the wrong way.”

“Oh?”

“Sure we’ll have to do that, but we’re here right now. Isn’t that something worth being happy about? Being on this trip with your brother, getting to meet two new people. You’re now having those experiences that you were too busy to have back in high school.”

Makoto sat in silence for a minute, looking out into the rain.

“Katsumi’s not actually my brother… we don’t even have the same family name.”

“...What?”

“Murakami and Matsushita. Did you really believe me when I said that?”

Kaede averted her gaze. “No…”

“You’re obviously lying.”

“Am not.”

Makoto chuckled a little. “Hirano… how old are you, seriously.”

Kaede let herself lean to the left and lightly knocked into Makoto. “You shouldn’t be asking a woman that question.”

Makoto didn’t come back with a rebuttal.

“I’m forty-three….”

“Really?”

“Yeah…” She said hesitantly. “What about it?”

“When Katsumi told me you were older, I didn’t believe it when I first saw you. I thought, ‘There’s no way she’s older than me’.”

“I appreciate it, but if you’re hitting on me it’s not working.”

“No, I’m being serious.”

Kaede’s expression faintly glowed after Makoto said that.

The rain slowly let up, until eventually the rhythmic sound of it hitting the city faded away. Leaving behind a world soaked in water. Water still dripped from roofs and gutters, continuing on what the rainstorm left behind.

Makoto stood up. Kaede looked up behind her at him.

“Let’s go out for breakfast tomorrow, just the two of us,” Makoto said. “It’ll be my treat.”

Kaede thought in silence for a moment.

“Alright. It’s a date then.” She smiled.