Ruru-chan is a Pathetic Loser

It's the show today, it's one step forward to being recognized and reaching my dream, and hopefully, my parents can see us right now, they are very proud of me right now, I can imagine their smiles.

We're backstage right now, soon we're going live, and honestly, I'm not expecting very much from the audience with the stuff we're going to play, I'm ready to take the hate, because it's definitely not for most people.

The host is introducing us, I can hear a bit of cheer from outside, I think it's a little bit uplifting to hear fans in the wild.

We walk to the stage, bow down to the audience, and then walk to our spots with our instruments already set up, well mostly set up.

"We're Natsuzora Cider, thank you for coming!"

We only have about 20 minutes of stage time, so we're going to play like 5 songs, which actually is pretty good because we don't have many songs that don't have a guitar.

We're starting off with Badly Written, and even though I put my utmost effort into making it a good performance, there is barely any hype from the crowd, they just don't really care.

Then song after song we played, they don't give a shit, it's frustrating, this is worse than someone insulting your music. I really want to leave right now, but I have to go through, it's only one song left.

"This is the last song, Ruru-chan is a pathetic loser."

I take a very deep breath, and release all my frustration in this song.

"You're worthless, You're useless, You're a disgrace"
Who cares!?
"It's your fault, It's your fault, It's your damn fault"
Who cares!? I am not you.

"You'll never grow, You'll stay behind, You'll drown"
No, it's you!
"Everything is your goddamn fault, you moron"
No, it's you! It's all you!

You're a cancer that will just take me away,
You're nothing but a rogue cell trying to take over,
I am better than you,
I can grow into a beautiful flower.

The princess of the night will bloom
In between the thorns around her
She will show her beauty
In the midst of suffering

I'm worth, I'm useful, I'm graceful
It's your fault, It's your fault, It's your damn fault
I'll grow, I'll move forward, I'll survive
Everything is your goddamn fault, you moron

You're a cancer that will just take me away,
You're nothing but a rogue cell trying to take over,
I am better than you,
I can grow into a beautiful flower.

The princess of the night will bloom
In between the thorns around her
She will show her beauty
In the midst of suffering

They still don't care, I just stand there in silence, thinking, what do I need to do to get some reaction from them, it's frustrating me so much. I know I expected to get some hate from that, but when I see that they're just not giving a shit about it just makes me boil, at least react a little bit or just leave if you don't want to watch us.

I want to smash my laptop right now.

I grab my laptop, but Olivia and Akari grab me and drag me backstage, while Hanako closes our performance.

"Calm down you idiot, that laptop is expensive!" Olivia yells at me, but not for the reason I expect. I thought she would get mad because I was going to ruin the performance. This is a valid reason though, I can't just splurge money to buy a new one.

"I'm sorry, it's just I'm so pissed at the crowd, they don't care at all."

"You have to get used to it."

Hanako returns from the stage, "Nice work everyone, and thank you Olivia and Akari for grabbing her quickly." She says, with slight concern that is subsiding.

"I'm sorry, I can't control myself."

She sits in front of me and pats my head, "I can understand your frustration, but it is what it is you know, most of them are only here for the popular artists." Says her with a big smile. She stands up again with her smile still there, "Let's get some food."

"I want Yakiniku!" says Akari.

"Sure, we'll have a grill party."

Akari and Olivia cheer yay, actually, it's been a while since I have grilled foods, I can't grill at home.

As we walk outside, we meet with Lisa, she's wearing an adorable frilly dress, and basically she looks so cute like an idol. When I look at her face though, her eyes are almost as dead as mine, she just doesn't have the spark in her.

"I saw your performance, that was good." Says Lisa, it's not like her to compliment us.

"Thanks?" I say.

"Ruru, can we talk later?"

"Sure, I guess."

Then she walks away without saying anything.

"Um, let's go to the restaurant."