On the Road to Alten

I awoke to the sound of hooves beating a rhythm into the ground. The wooden and cloth walls of the covered wagon were shaking and creaking in time with the hoofsteps. I could not have been asleep for long, as the last dregs of evening sun shone through the cloth. I sank back into the straw mattress, trying to ignore the rhythmic pain in my chest. It pulsed with the beating of my heart. And the wagon shaking did nothing to help.

It was difficult to tell what had awoken me, my wounds, the quiet conversation outside the wagon, or the dreams of days gone by. Silva invaded much of my waking thoughts, it was not surprising that she was also a constant presence in my dreams. Beyond the surface wounds caused by Silva’s blades, I felt a deeper pain inflicted by the event that transpired in Justice.

Silva… I could not help but feel a touch betrayed by her actions; her mistrust and hostility towards me. The need to push me away and take on the world alone. I was supposed to be her friend. But then again, I was supposed to be her friend.

My fingers brushed against the bandages wrapped around my chest, hiding the gashes that were my shame. The truth was, she was right to be hurt. I had been blinded to her wants and needs by my arrogance; so caught in my own head with my desire to shine as a prince that I refused to see her as anything more than my source of strength. She was that, but Silva was also her own person with her own ambition; her own dreams. The fact that she believed that I could not be included in that was entirely because I was a weak, self-centered fool. Far from the prince I longed to be.

If only I had— A particularly violent shake of the wagon interrupted my thoughts as I was nearly thrown from the mattress. I rose to a crawl, ignoring the searing from my chest as I poked my head out through the canvas curtains and into the driver’s side of the wagon.

“Would you drive more smoothly?! I am trying to introspect! Very important thinking happening back here.”

“Sorry,” said Lina, who sat to my left, holding the reins, “We hit a rock by accident.”

I smiled at her. I was glad to see her awake again. And in such high spirits, much higher than a few hours ago. “Oh, I don’t blame you when there are others who are more responsible.” I glared at Ulrich, the source of the hoofsteps, who flashed his teeth at me as he strode alongside us.

“That’s my bad, Boss,” said Dietrich from the front. The man was tied to the yoke in a makeshift harness, pulling the wagon as he jogged at a brisk pace.

“You’re fine, too.” My face soured further as I shook my head at Ulrich, “I don’t see why you’re not the one pulling the wagon.”

Ulrich tilted his head, “Why? ‘Cause I’m a horse you think I have to pull the wagon?”

“Frankly, yes. Why’d you bother to join us if you weren’t going to pull your own weight, so to speak. “You’re making poor Dietrich do all the work!”

The former sheriff snorted. Dietrich grinned back at us. “I don’t mind, Boss. It’s not that heavy. And the cardio’s great! I could do this for hours.”

And he’s not doing all the work!” said Lina indignantly. She flourished the reins—which were tied uselessly to the sides of the yoke—her nose in the air. “Pick up the pace Dietrich, would you?”

“You got it, Lady Lina!” With renewed vigor, Dietrich quickened his jog.

What’s the point of the reins if you’re going to tell him what to do anyway? But I held my tongue. It appeared, Lina’s spirits were not as high as I thought when directed at me. She had yet to look at me.

“See, Mr. Prince? No one else is complainin’,” said Ulrich with another of his grins. “And I don’t see why you are, getting to ride in the back all comfortable like.”

I sputtered, “I am injured!”

“Ain’t my fault. Yer the one who rejected the healers.”

That was true. After the battle with Silva, I thought it best to leave town as soon as possible. There was no telling who would come after us next, and if it would be someone more powerful than even Astrid. It would take several days to heal my injuries. Time was of the essence and trivial matters, such as battle wounds, were low on my priorities. Plus, I was not willing to take the chance of losing the marks that Silva inflicted. They were my penance, after all.

The healers, Lia and Marie, objected to my decision, but could do nothing as their father bandaged my chest.

“A man has to carry his atonement in his own way,” the doctor had said, “Even if it’s complete nonsense.” He emphasized this with an extra hard tug of the bandages as he tied them off, which sent spasms throughout my body. I gave him a displeased glare, which he matched with his own.

I was not normally one to back down from a challenge, especially from a commoner, but I was in no position to argue with the old man. Nor did I have the strength to do anything more than respond with a nod and a quiet. “Thank you, Doctor.”

The man shook his head, “You Wolfskreuz and your sense of self-aggrandizement. Everything you do, is as over-the-top as possible, my prince, even your own atonement.”

I gave the man a weak smile, “Sounds like you have a frame of reference there.”

He blew air through his nose at that, “I suppose I do. But there, that's the best I can do for you, highness. His eyes left mine and found Lina, who still wore her nightgown. “I’ll leave the bandage changing to you, missy. At least twice a day or if you see blood.”

Lina smiled and nodded. “Of course! I’m great at bandaging!”

I kept silent, remembering her “treatment” after Gertrude’s attack.

“Good.” The doctor looked at his daughters, “And find her something else to wear, my dears. For Iliana’s sake, she can’t go running around dressed like that!”

“Yes, father,” said one of the women. “Come ma’am we must be quick.”

“Of course,” There was a moment before Lina was whisked away by the healers when her eyes met mine. I gave her a small smile, which she did not return. Her expression was inscrutable, bordering on cold.

I stared after her as she turned away. Before I could dwell on it any further, Albert and Herman appeared on either side of me to help me to my feet. “Everything’s been prepared,” said Albert. “Time to go.”

“Right,” I said with one last look at the spot Lina disappeared from. I supposed she had not forgotten our last conversation before she fell unconscious.

There was a large gathering of citizens when we arrived in front of the Soldier’s Haven, but all parted as the three of us made our way to the wagon. Dietrich was waiting there, as was Ulrich.

“Well,” said I with a princely smile, “Our meeting was brief, Sheriff Ulrich, but it has been a pleasure. I hope you’ll continue to look after my people in my absence.”

The sheriff snorted, “Not on yer life. Don’t think you can get rid of me that easy, Mr. Prince.”

My smile faded, “I beg your pardon?”

“You idiots wouldn’t survive three days out there by yerselves. You’ve barely survived up ‘til now.”

I felt Albert stiffen, “Sheriff Ulrich! Are you saying what I think you’re saying?!”

“Yup,” said Ulrich with a grin, “It’s time I let go of my duty as sheriff and walk my own path from now on. As of today, I am retired.”

There were gasps from the crowd. I could swear that I heard sobs from somewhere.

“B-but sir?” said Albert, forgetting me and walking forward to stand in front of Ulrich.

“There ain’t no sir about me now, Albert,” said the horse, “I’m jest plain ol’ Ulrich now.”

The red bearded man shook his head in disbelief, “But sir? What are we going to do without you?”

“You’ll have to figure that out yerself, Albert. Or should I say Sheriff Albert.”

The man stood there in stunned silence before Ulrich stopped his hoof several times on the cobblestone, which the crowd took as an order to applaud. Clapping erupted all around us, including from Herman, who removed his support of me to clap wildly before seeing that I was on the verge of collapse and returning to his place under my arm.

It was almost a minute after the applause died down that Albert finally spoke, “I don’t know what to say. I have some pretty big shoes to fill, sir.”

Metaphorical shoes, of course. I kept that thought to myself so as not to ruin the moment.

“There ain’t nobody more suited to be my successor than you,” said Ulrich, “I’ve known you since the first day you joined the guards, and I know you’ll do everythin’ you can to uphold the name of Justice. Don’t you agree, Mr. Prince?”

“Wholeheartedly.” I smiled at Albert, “I leave Justice, and Cross, to you.”

Albert nodded, then saluted, “I’ll do my best, my prince.”

I looked at Ulrich, “And I suppose this ‘path’ you’ll be walking is in close proximity to us?”

“You know it. Somebody’s gotta keep you all in line. And I know a thing or two ‘bout the Alten Kingdom. I’d be mighty handy, if you’ll have me?”

“Why are you asking? I don’t think I could stop you, even if I wanted to.”

The former sheriff flashed his teeth, “Course not. You and Albert both know, there ain’t no arguin’ with me.”

Dietrich threw an arm around Ulrich’s neck and pulled him in close, “Aw yeah! We’ve got ourselves a new buddy! That means I’m your senior, so you’ll have to do what I say from now on.”

“Not on yer life, bub,” said Ulrich as he tried to pull his neck from Dietrich’s grasp, but an excited squeal made both freeze.

“You’re really coming with us?!” Lina popped out from the crowd dressed in a white blouse and dark red skirt. Her hair, despite being pulled back by a dark red headscarf, fanned out behind her as she ran to Ulrich and threw her arms around his neck, nuzzling her face into it. “That means I get to love on you every day! And brush your mane! And braid your tail! And—”

Ulrich looked as mortified as a horse could be. “Now, hold on, little missy! If you think I’m gonna let you—”

Lina looked up at him with playful sternness, “Oh, don’t you be like that, Mr. Grumpy face. You don’t have to act so tough with me! I already know you’re a big softie who loves his little ears petted. Ooh, I’m gonna spoil you rotten!”

“Yeah! Me too!” said Dietrich.

A chorus of laughter rose from the crowd, including from me.

If a horse could blush, Ulrich would be as deep a crimson as Albert’s beard. I could see that he was already regretting his decision to join our party as he gave me a pleading look. I only shrugged in response.

This is what you wanted. I wished him sincere luck at trying to keep these two in line.

Even after a few hours of travel, Ulrich still gave us a wide berth. Though he was gruff and refused to pull the wagon, I was glad that Ulrich decided to join us .It was nice to have another rational person to talk to.

We continued on our way, until the light had nearly gone from the sky. There was a debate about making camp. I was adamantly in favor of continuing past dark as we were not far from Justice, well in the range of more pursuers. But I was out voted. Though I did not like it, I understood. We had gotten quite a late start, and all were exhausted after the battle with Silva and Astrid. Dietrich denied as much, but I knew he must be hurting at least a little. He had taken the worst of Astrid’s attacks, after all.

Still, it would be best to be as cautious as possible. I would risk setting up camp, but only if we were well off the beaten path and hidden in a grove of trees. We kept camp simple so as to get an early start the next morning.

The task of setting up was left to the other three. I was too injured to do anything more than continue to sit in the back of the wagon. I hated feeling so useless, but I had made my choice. So, I sat back and watched as Dietrich struggled to make a fire with flint and tinder. That was until Ulrich came in to aid him. I could not see how, as the horse blocked my view, by the time he stepped back, there were flames crackling at full blaze.

Dietrich was in awe. “That was amazing, old guy! You’re a total wilderness master.”

“What can I say?” said Ulrich with a grin as he sat on the other side of the fire. I watched with a sour expression. He was doing this on purpose!

Lina was in charge of food. I feared she would decide to cook—though a part of me wanted to try her cooking regardless of its dubious quality—but she kept it simple by pulling bread and cheese from the supplies provided by the citizens of Justice. She again refused to meet my eyes as she shoved my share into my hands before walking to the other side of the wagon to rummage in a bag.

I stared after her. I thought her earlier indignation was in jest. Was she genuinely upset at me? Even after all this time. But I supposed what had been a few days for me, was only yesterday for her.

She walked away with a few apples for Ulrich and sat, snuggling up next to him and began to play with his mane. He did not look happy about it until he saw the look on my face, after which he grinned again.

“So then,” I said, doing my best to push back a surge of jealousy and disappointment, “Tell us more about the Alten Kingdom. You seem to know a fair bit.”

“I should, seein’ as we border it. I’ve traveled there a fair bit with Sheriff Steel in my younger years. It’s been a while, though I doubt it’s changed much. It’s a minin’ kingdom that keeps mostly to itself, though it does do trade on occasion. That’s how we get some of our raw material fer construction and smithin’ in Justice.”

I could not imagine any Altenian being thrilled at knowing that their ore was wasted by that sham of a smith. “And what do you know of the royal family?”

Ulrich looked at me sideways, “Not much. Figured you’d know better than me, bein’ royalty yerself.”

I shook my head, “Fortunately, I was spared from any long, boring meetings. But that comes with the downside of not interacting with any nobles from other kingdoms.” I paused, “Though I do remember there were two of them. A brother and sister. They were called Stremmer—no, Stracten— or was it—?”

“Strater,” said both Dietrich and Lina together. They jumped and exchanged looks of surprise, in which I joined.

“How do you two know that?” I asked, glancing between the two of them.

Lina looked somewhere to her left as she said, “Oh, it’s…common knowledge where I come from.”

“Is it?” My heart began to beat a little faster.

Lina stared at the fire as she nodded. That was all. My heart sank. Her final words in that conversation came to mind.

“...you could never understand me, Anno. All you'll ever know is only a glimpse of the real Lina.”

Had I damaged her trust enough that she would never look at me again? It certainly felt that way.

On the other hand, Dietrich’s response was as bright as ever, “One of my duties as Demon King was to scare all the Rulers of Rhine in their dreams, so I got to know a few of them! Alten’s ruled by King Taurus Strater. Nice guy. Has a fear of slimes.”

Though morbid, his explanation did allow me to forget about the awkwardness between Lina and me as I gave Dietrich a sour look. “Charming.”

A sharp whinny from Ulrich made us all look at him. “Yer duties as what now?” He was standing, ears pinned back. Lina looked the most startled having been knocked back by the horse rising, though she appeared to be okay. “You said that before, but I thought you were jokin’.”

Right. I’d forgotten that Ulrich did not know Dietrich’s former identity. “I suppose an explanation is in order.”

“You better believe it, Mr. Prince,” said Ulrich, gruffly. Lina stood and began to stroke his neck, but Ulrich ignored her, staring at me and Dietrich with borderline hostility.

I quickly explained the circumstances of our meeting with Dietrich and our subsequent discovery of his true identity. Ulrich appeared to accept our story as he was sitting by the time we finished, Lina resuming her spot by his side.

“That certainly explains a lot,” he said. “So, you were snatched up and made into the Demon King, eh?”

“Not for long, though,” replied Dietrich. “He existed before me, and he would still exist if that Hero guy hadn’t shredded my body to pieces.”

“Interestin’. Can’t believe I’m sayin’ this, but it makes almost too much sense.”

I looked down at my bread in contemplation. Ulrich was right, I had not given much thought to it after learning of Dietrich’s origins, but the Demon King being more than one person cycled in secret felt like a natural part of this world. I had no explanation as to why I felt that way. It was like learning why the moon changes shape during its phases.

A horrible smell brought my attention back to Ulrich, who had a large wooden smoking pipe stuck between his teeth. What the—? I stared in astonishment as the horse took a few puffs, watching the fire in contemplation.

How had he even…? I looked for Lina. It must have been her, but she was no longer sitting at his side. Dietrich shrugged when I met his eyes. Right now, the smoking horse was the biggest mystery to me. One that I feared would never be solved.

Ulrich raised a hoof toward his pipe, I watched eagerly to see what he would do next, but a tap on my shoulder caused me to jump and clutch at the pain in my chest as I looked to find Lina standing beside me, eyes fixed on a spot to my right.

“Sorry, did I scare you?”

I looked back at Ulrich, and saw that the pipe was gone as he struck up a conversation with Dietrich about his appearance. My head slumped in disappointment. “It’s fine. What can I do for you?”

Lina held a small oil lantern in one hand and held up a roll of linen strips with the other. “Time to change your bandages before bed.” Her tone was flat, her face expressionless.

“Oh. Right.” She did not need to say it, but I could tell the words, If I wasn’t told to do this, I wouldn't, were not far from her lips. At least she was talking to me directly.

I sat back upon the mattress and allowed Lina to climb into the wagon and closed the curtains behind her. It was cramped with the two of us and I tried to make myself as small as possible as Lina hung the lantern on a small hook above our heads. From where I was, she was at a very flattering angle. I looked away from such a sight. Even still, she was so close to me that I could feel the heat of every little movement she made on the bare skin of my arm. Every time we did touch as her clothes brushed past me, I became acutely aware that I was only wearing a pair of soft trousers; bare from the waist up. And far from a dignified prince of Cross.

“Turn around and face me,” she said, curtly. “You can manage that on your own, can’t you?”

“Yes.” I obeyed, ignoring the pain in my chest. Lina was not looking at my face, but focused on searching my torso. Within seconds her fingers found the knot used to tie my bandages off near my shoulder, and she began to pluck it loose.

I could only stand to look at her face, concentrated on the bandage knot, for only a few seconds before embarrassment caused my eyes to search about my cramped quarters. They fell upon my two blades, Rudolph and Silbermond, resting together against one side of the canvas wall.

I had not the heart to throw away my now useless Silbermond. It had been my reliable partner since it was gifted to me by Master Marzell over six years ago. Per my request, Herman had retrieved both pieces and returned them to their sheathe, tragically, as useless as I was.

As for Rudolph—or Rudi, as it wished to be called—I was still in disbelief that it had spoken to me inside my head. Even if it had remained silent since leaving Justice, its mental voice was too distinct for me to chalk it up to imagination.

I did not know why it had decided to go quiet, ignoring any questions I tried to ask it, but given my limited knowledge of its personality, it was probably by choice. I was being given the silent treatment by my own sword!

“Got it!” said Lina as she succeeded in untying the knot.

Her triumphant expression made me smile. “If you were having trouble, you could have asked me for help, you know.”

Lina’s expression fell back into stone. “I got it.” She did not give me so much as a glance as she began to unwrap my bandages. Though she did have to lean closer to me to retrieve the linen strip as it passed over my back.

I supposed I deserved the cold shoulder. After the awful things I had said to her, accusing her of selfishly abandoning her duties, whatever they were, it was a miracle that she was talking to me at all. I had hoped our mutual relief of Silva’s true intentions would have made her forget, but that did not seem to be the case. It felt as if there was a wall between us now. Or perhaps it had always been there and I had only just noticed.

“I am sorry, Lina. For what I said to you back in Justice.”

She did not respond, only continued to unwrap my bandages. So, I continued. “I knew even after I said what I did that it was insensitive, selfish, arrogant—”

“And stupid. Don’t forget about stupid.”

“—yes, stupid. And I deeply regret—” I stopped myself as I realized that Lina was looking at me at last. Her fingers were still as she watched me with her round, red eyes.

“Go on. You were doing so well.”

I took a moment to suppress my relief at the sight of her poorly hidden smile, “You tried to put your trust in me, and I threw it back in your face. It took Silva to remind me that I was so focused on myself and my sense of duty that I was blind to the needs of others, including those closest to me.”

Lina’s fingers brushed against my chest, against the gashes nearly exposed to the light.

I fought the urge to take hold of her hand again and plead for her to open up to me as I had on that day. It was not that I longed to know what secrets she so carefully hid, I did. I had grown to hunger for each crumb of information she left behind. But I did not deserve to know. Not yet.

“I will do my best to become a prince you can put your trust into. Whom you can confide in.”

At that, her smile disappeared, and her lips tightened. Her gaze fell from mine, “So close,” she whispered. With that, she resumed removing my bandages.

I blinked, “What? Did I say something wrong?”

Lina only responded with silence.

Annoyance stung me somewhere in the back of my mind. This was Silva all over again! I, Prince Anno, had humbled myself to the point of apology. I was as sincere as I could possibly be, and I did not deserve to be scorned with stony silence. But I kept my temper in check for her sake. I would not make the same mistake again with Lina as I had with Silva.

“If I’ve offended you, please tell me. I want to be—”

“Yes, I know. A prince I can rely on. You already said that.” She sounded as annoyed as I felt.

“I wasn’t going to— I don’t see what’s wrong with wanting to aspire to be a prince.”

“And what does that mean exactly? What do you want to get out of ‘being a prince’, hm?” Her eyes returned to me, fiery and pointed. “Do you want glory? Wealth? Or do you want people to worship the very ground you walk on?”

“I—I—” …did not know how to answer that question. In all honesty, up until our encounter with Silva, I hadn’t thought much of what it meant to be a prince. I just was one.

“Listen to me, all you’ve given since I’ve known you are platitudes. Empty ideas that you wear like some kind of badge of honor. You’ve got it all wrong, Anno! You think just having a fancy title makes you entitled to anything? Or that you should get special treatment? It shouldn’t! But here you are, running around, expecting everything to be handed to you while playing the Hero!”

At the sight of my expression, Lina seemed to come to her senses. She inhaled heavily through her nose and her eyes softened. “I-I didn’t mean that last part. You’re doing your best, I know that. You care about people, and you want to help them. You’re a good person, Anno. It’s just that… you remind me of an idiot I know.”

She paused as the last of the bandages fell from me, exposing the crossed wounds, deep and angry red, that marred my chest. Doctor Lenz had done his best to stitch them closed, but it was easy to tell that he had done so in haste. Tears welled up in her eyes at the sight.

“I’m sorry. You’ve saved me so many times. And I’ve brought you so much trouble.”

Her tears brought back my ability to speak. “It’s worth it,” I said.

“What?”

I placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it as tight as my pain would allow, “You’re right: I don’t know what I mean when I call myself a prince. And I fail constantly. I come up short so often that it doesn’t seem worth it to try. But you make it worth it. You, and Dietrich, and Silva, everyone we’ve met so far make it worth trying.

“I will find out what it means to be a prince one day, even if I continue to suffer for it. And when I do, I want to be someone in whom you can put your full trust without hesitation. For now, however, I won’t pressure you for your true identity. I won’t even ask the name of the idiot I remind you of even though he seems very important to you.”

Lina smiled again, “Nice try. And thank you. That idiot told me once that ‘a prince's path is a lonely one of self-discovery and exploration,’ but meeting you makes me think he might be wrong.”

I smiled, “Does it? Well, you and I will have plenty of time to explore everything about each other.”

At that, Lina’s face went scarlet. I could almost feel the heat radiating from her, she was almost steaming. It took her looking down at my bare chest to realize the implications of what I’d just said, which made my face burn as well.

“N-no, I di– didn’t mean it like– I don’t— Well, I do– But not in that—” I trailed off, not wanting to dig myself into an even deeper hole.

“Let’s get those bandages on,” said Lina, who was not meeting my eyes again.

We sat in silence as she applied medicine to my bandages before wrapping them across my torso. They were not as tight as I would have liked, but they were sufficient enough to soothe my pain. And I had the distinct feeling she wanted out of there as soon as possible. I did not blame her in the slightest. If I had the strength to bury myself in the ground and never surface again, I would.

Once she finished tying my bandages off, Lina practically fled the wagon, with an “I think I’ll go to bed.” Before she disappeared from sight, however, she turned back slightly so I could see a reddened cheek, almost meeting my eye. “You know, you don’t just remind me of all the things that annoy me about that idiot, Anno. You also remind me of all the things I love about him.”

She left me in stunned silence. How was I supposed to take that?! What did that even mean?! Him? Him who? She couldn’t have been talking about the False Hero, could she? As if there was anything that he and I had in common! Did she really still love him? And why did I care so much if she did? She was trying to confuse me on purpose! Some kind of revenge for my unprincely remark!

Well, I deserved it! I had botched any good grace we had rekindled and made myself sound like a letch!

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Dietrich and Ulrich staring at me, both with sly grins plastered on their faces.

“What!” I said, more than a little defensively. I had forgotten that the thin canvas walls did nothing to stop our voices from carrying. Perhaps there was a chance they weren’t listening?

Dietrich tried to hide his smile behind his hand as he wiped his nose with a finger. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

Ulrich, who made no attempt to hide his smile added, “You young’uns and yer drama.”

Oh, Iliana! They heard everything! I gave them both the most withering stare I could. “Oh, stuff it.” Despite myself, I felt color begin to rise in my cheeks again. “If you’ll excuse me. I, too, will turn in.”

“To what?” asked Dietrich with total seriousness.

“Nevermind.” I lay down upon the mattress, though I did not feel the least bit tired. I didn’t think I’d ever sleep comfortably again as thoughts of Lina and our conversation buzzed through my skull.

Then I heard Dietrich’s voice, “Want me to heal you a little before you sleep, Boss? I won’t ruin the cool scars. Promise.”

I sighed, “Maybe tomorrow. Go to sleep.”

“‘Kay!”

Silence returned, as did the millions of thoughts about Lina.

I agree with the fake, said a familiar voice in my head, You really are an idiot.