My dear diary...

I think it should be the first of April, which is not great at all. I personally don't have anything against April or the April fools. The weather just becomes unpredictable in April. And on top of that I have a hole in my trench coat now because of Melanie, you know what you did. 

I recently stopped crying about coffee too, I think the withdrawals stopped. Isn't caffeine just a weak neuro poison anyway? I never liked the taste anyway. Who even came up with it anyway?Did some mongol see goats get high off bean leaves and decide to roast said beans and use them in a brew? However, we got tiramisu because of it so I'm neutral about it. I do miss tiramisu.

I probably should put a date in this, I'm writing this on the first of April, wait I already said that. Or more like wrote. It has been ten years since the end of the old world. 

I also miss toilet paper. Like, we had it for a while because there were stashes of it, but we ran out by now. Or it has become rarer and more valuable than gold. I would actually fight someone for half a roll, I would kill for a pack. Unless the guy who also wants it is better at killing than me, then I might have to ask Melanie for help. I would just say that there are two rolls and give her one then keep the remaining rolls. No, she can be a pain but the nomad woman has been the only reason why I got to eat meat. She can have half. 

I keep talking about "I would kill for" as if I ever killed something. I'm lucky that Melanie is even looking after me, I probably would have just starved without her. 

While I am on her, she has been changing, again. Yes yes, if you eat monsters you become a monster in turn, a well known fact by now. After all, it is being broadcasted on radio. But I haven't heard any radio in a while. 

We are in the middle of spring, I have been busy gathering mushrooms and swiping a few apples from the fools, I know that the trees far away enough from the library are free for the library are free for the taking. But they are just so bitter, the younger a tree is the worse the apples taste and the oldest trees are close to the library and they aren't as bad. I haven't seen any berries since last summer, not sure if that is an omen or someone beat me to it. Maybe it was a herd of horses, horses like wild berries.

Back on track. Melanie has been quieter than usual. She doesn't seem depressed, she still makes jokes from time to time, she still keeps up the running gag of calling me a hobbit which she had been doing before apocalypse. But now she just dropped "are a" and now only says "you hobbit". She still talks with the same attitude as before and makes the same gestures as before, but it is like she is picking out just enough words to get her point across instead of having a civilized conversation. To be fair I don't think we should have to worry about anything being civilized. 

I'm not even sure if it is the whole eating monsters thing, we eat the same things and I don't feel any different. Or at least I think so. Am I a monster now? Pretty sure Melanie would just laugh at me if I said that I am also becoming monstrous. We call Nomads monstrous but they just are a bit taller than normal people, what is so monstrous about that? It is not like they are growing horns and tails or something?

Am I gonna grow horns? I would prefer a tail, but like a gator tail that can actually slap with some force and not some flappy tail that doesn't do anything. I guess a snake tail would also be cool, much cooler than some horns. What would I even do with horns? decorate them? Then I could walk around and be like " oh I'm so pretty >-<"... okay antlers would pretty good on me I guess or like ram horns, they would look pretty good too if I wove like a pattern through them with string or something. Then I could hang stuff on that string lie flowers or other stuff. 

Okay if I get a tail I would prefer a reptilian one with a cool scale pattern on it, I would definitely use it to make people trip. If I get like horns or antlers I would want deer antlers or ram horns and I could like wrap string around them to make patterns and hang stuff on that string, it would look very nice. 

But when I say ram horns I mean the ones that make a whole loop and not the ones that are crescent shaped, that would just look goofy. Would they be on the top or on the sides of my head? For the antlers the top would be better but the ram horns should grow out of the sides of my head. 

Melanie had killed a boar yesterday so we ate boar meat today too with some grilled shrooms that I found in the forest and some less bitter apples for dessert. Should have been safe to eat if I didn't discover a new mushroom species on accident. 

She is humming a lullaby to herself again, she started doing that a week or so ago to help her sleep and it sounds familiar from somewhere. I would ask her what it is, but she definitely would make fun of me again so I'm just gonna sleep on it.