Chapter 33 –– Past Memories

Noam and Jared stared at each other as if they were in a staring contest, in utter silence full of awkwardness.

"What are you doing here?" Noam asked bluntly with resentment in his voice.

Moshe and Dawoud felt something different about Noam. It felt like he was a totally different person. Noam looked all serious and angry.

"I--"

"Good day. Are you the groom's brother? Let me introduce myself"

The guy Jared came to the reception with stuck out his hand towards Noam to ask him for a handshake.

"I am Enoch Parae, cousin of the bride."

Noam looked at him from top to bottom. Enoch was an omega male brown hyena, the same as Talia and her parents. He looked cute, definitely Jared's type. Enoch had small ears and a slender tail, with a body type similar to Noam. He didn't expect Jared to finally found someone new.

Noam reluctantly reached out his hand to Enoch. He didn't expect Jared's new partner turned out to be his sister-in-law's cousin. He felt awkward yet perplexed by the situation.

Enoch looked innocent and didn't seem to know what was going on between the two. Noam had an inkling that Jared did not say anything about the fact that the two of them who used to be together. Nobody knew what was going on, except for Jared and Noam themselves.

Enoch saw the two guys behind Noam, standing in silence. Enoch was curious to know who the two outsiders were.

"And you two are...?" Enoch asked them.

Dawoud and Moshe introduced themselves, saying that they are sons of the chieftain of their respective village.

"Oh! And how do you know the groom?" Enoch asked innocently.

Jared watched the scene carefully. He was also curious to know how those two are related with Noam.

"We are Noam's suitors," Dawoud answered confidently.

Enoch was surprised to hear the answer. Not because he did not expect it, but because how confident Dawoud said it. Enoch thought they were the acquaintances of the groom, turned out they were acquaintances of the groom's brother.

Jared was just as surprised as Enoch, but for a different reason. He didn't expect that Noam had suitors. Not one, but two. This meant that Noam was already on his way to be mated to someone, something that did not cross Jared's mind.

"So....you two know each other?" Enoch asked Noam and Jared.

Judging by how they acted around each other, Dawoud, Moshe, and Enoch had a feeling this was not their first meeting.

Noam then made eye contact with Jared. Suddenly, all of the past memories he had with Jared came running to his mind. The good, the bad, the ones he wanted to forget. He stood still like a statue as those memories came flooding his mind. All of a sudden, Noam felt sick to his stomach. It was as if he was forcefully reminded of the things he tried so hard to forget. He then hurriedly excused himself to go to the bathroom while closing his mouth with his paws. Dawoud and Moshe looked worried, wondering what happened to Noam that made him run like that. Jared took a pity on him, feeling guilty for having come to the reception.

On his way to the bathroom, in front of the door, Noam saw Amal and Aaryn who just got out of the bathroom. Noam didn't think of anything besides the thought that Aaryn was helping Amal remove the stain on her bag because of the drink he spilled earlier. Noam then rushed into the bathroom stall without paying them any heed. Amal and Aaryn were surprised and confused. They could see that there was something wrong with Noam, but they did not get to ask him before he entered the stall.

Noam vomited in the bathroom. He didn't know why or how he just felt like throwing up after recalling his past memories with Jared. He felt weak after vomitting, like all of his energy just got sucked out of him.

In front of the bathroom, Amal and Aaryn were standing waiting for him. They wanted to check on him and and had been wondering if he was alright.

"What happened? Are you sick?" Amal asked innocently.

"Should we call a healer?" Aaryn asked worriedly.

Noam violently shook his head, saying he was fine. His complexion, however, was saying otherwise.

Noam then left Amal and Aaryn without saying a single word, keeping it to himself. He walked towards a place where nobody could find him.

He went to the rooftop and stared at the ceiling above him. He lay on his back and started to clear his mind. Despite how hard he tried not to think about the fact that he just met his ex, memories with Jared kept running through his mind. Instead of fighting it, this time, Noam let the memories flow and started recounting the time spent with somebody that he used to know.

Jared is an alpha male aardwolf. He and I were childhood friends and we had known each other since as long as I could remember. My brother did not know this, but Yeshua and I were not the only one who shared the same dream grandpa passed down to us. Jared, too, was part of it. I used to tell him what my grandpa would tell me and my brother. The untold story of the world beyond the surface.

Jared and I started dating when we were in our teenage years. Jared was a highly supportive partner. Even though he did not share as much ambition as I had, he always listened to every story I told him with much excitement. I didn't understand why he asked me out to be his partner, but having him who could listen to me talking about my passion and dream was everything I could ever ask for.

Unlike me, Jared was a social butterfly. He was naturally extraverted and friendly towards everyone. He had a lot of friends, to whom he introduced me. He would sometimes show me off to his friends like I'm some kind of trophy. He would also make fun of me sometimes for being so socially awkward. It kinda bothered me at first, but deep down, I felt really happy for the fact that he was proud to announce me as his partner. It made me feel really appreciated and loved.

A year after we started dating, Jared got his first rut. He then started acting weirdly in front of me to the point that I felt uncomfortable. Jared felt bad and tried his best to control his rut, but we were both too young to understand what was happening. Jared then asked me to do it with him. I was hesitant because I was scared. I never did it with anyone before, so I didn't know what to do and what would happen after I did it. My mama told me that omegas could get pregnant if an alpha was in a rut, so I was scared to do it with him. I rejected him several times, but seeing how much in pain he seemed, I decided to let him hit it. We then did it for the first time.

Jared was my first kiss. In fact, he was my first for almost everything. The first time we did it, it was so painful that I actually cried. Seeing how much in pain I was, Jared decided to stop and soothe me instead. I couldn't relax because of the constant thought that I might regret it. There were so many things running though my mind, including the possibility that Jared might leave me after we did it. However, losing him because of not doing it at that moment would have felt worse than anything else to me. In the end, I made up my mind to do something I was not ready for.

The first few times were rough because neither of us knew what to do. I don't know about him, but I was so scared during the whole process. Jared was patient and gentle with me, letting me to decide the pace for the both of us. He might be a little insistent, but he never forced himself on me. He promised me that he would stay with me forever and would take responsibility if anything were to happen to me. I trusted him with all my heart, because he was the love of my life.

After I got my first heat, we started doing it regularly. We knew better each time and we started using contraception to prevent any unwanted pregnancies. This was such a bad thought, but sometimes, I wished there was an accident. The idea of me conceiving his child really warmed my heart for some reason. However, I was not foolish enough to actually make that happen. We were both too young to be able to raise a child on our own, so I just kept that as a little fantasy within my imagination.

I don't know why, but the older I got, the more clingy and moody I became. I became very sensitive to everything and my mood changed every 5 seconds. I don't know if it was because of the heat cycle, but it felt like I couldn't control my emotions very well. Day by day, I got more anxious by the fact that Jared might leave me one day. Unlike him who had a lot of friends, Jared was the only person I truly talked to, besides my brother. My brother enrolled in the military, so in the end I really had no one else besides him. I don't know where I got this fear of abandonment from, but it made me keep asking for constant reassurance all the time. There was not a single day gone by without me asking if Jared loved me. As a good partner he was, he answered my every question with patience everytime. He didn't care how many times I asked in a day, he would just answer the same thing. That he loved me no matter what.

The third year we were dating, I started to feel that Jared felt distant from me. The way he replied to my questions changed, unlike before. His words were not as sweet, not as gentle, and not as patient as before. He did not give me the reassurance I needed and started to feel distant. I don't know what went wrong and when it started to happen, not even until now. It felt like at one point, he just changed, not like how I used to remember him. Either that, or he just grew into the person he actually was–– his true nature. Regardless, it made me feel sad thinking about the fact that he changed a lot, but I remained the same.

One of Jared's friends noticed what was happening between me and Jared and asked me about it. His name was Omar. I was hesitant to tell him at first, but since I had no one else to talk to, I decided to share it with him instead.