Snooze to Lose

I sit in darkness amidst nothingness. I see nothing. I feel nothing. I hear nothing. Despite that, I felt no worries. Calm, as is an undisturbed lake that had been in slumber for centuries. Relaxed...

"Yozora!" an earpiercing voice screamed at me.

My body jerked up, and my eyes sprung wide open. I think I prefer it when they were closed, because the first thing I saw was Suguha's face only a hair away from me.

"W-wha...!" I yelped as I fell off the chair.

Suddenly, Natsume's poked her head into view as I was still lying on the ground.

"Are you alright, Yozora?!" she exclaimed.

"I'm... fine," I muttered. "Head hurts a bit now, though. Don't do that again, Suguha."

"Ehe~ My bad," she smiled nervously.

I pushed myself up and sat back down. From the corner of my eye, I noticed the girls were sweating a bit.

Did I fall asleep that long? I remember closing my eyes just when they started practicing. Or maybe it's only been five minutes, and their routine was just that intense. I can't tell, and since I didn’t check the time today, there’s no way of knowing.

"Are you okay, Yozora?" Yoshino asked.

"Hm? Natsume already asked me that, and I said that I was fine."

"That's not what I meant. I'm asking if everything is okay. This is the first time you've slept through our rehearsal. We even turned up the volume, but not even that woke you up."

Was I really that tired? Damn... It might really be time for me to redo my sleep schedule. Four hours a day is not cutting it anymore. Maybe five will work.

"Well, I've busier than usual, being your assistant and whatnot," I replied.

"It's been more than a month now," Mitsuki grumbled. "You really think you can keep recycling the same excuse?"

"It's the only excuse that makes sense. What else do you want me to say?"

"Everything," Yoshino said. "From start to finish, everything that's been bothering you."

I guess I know why they're saying all of this now. Just like last time, they want me to tell them everything that I've been through.

"I told you not to worry about me," I sighed.

"Can you really blame us?" Suguha asked. "You keep getting more and more tired every day."

"And I just told you guys why, didn't I?"

"Yozora," Natsume said.

A wave of tension washed over me. Natsume is the one person I can’t bring myself to talk to the way I do with the others. Her timid nature makes it hard to predict how she’ll take my bluntness, and the last thing I want is to see her crumble under my words.

"You know... We weren't kidding when we said that we've been watching you," she mumbled.

"...I know."

"So you can surely understand why we keep asking you, right?"

I don’t want them to worry—it’s a hassle. This is something I need to deal with on my own. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself, but why haven’t I brushed them off like I did before? Maybe, deep down... a part of me wants to open up, but another dominating side just won't let me.

Yoshino stepped over. "Yozora, do you remember when I asked you what you thought of us? It was hard for you to say what you really thought because you didn't know a thing about us. What about now?"

"Well..."

How is it that Sunayomi is defying everything that I previously thought about them? I certainly wasn't expecting her to remember that moment, much less anything that has to do with me.

As steadily as I could, I gave my answer. "To be honest... I thought you all had it easy, but that wasn't the case at all. You worked hard to be where you are, gave up a lot, and went through a lot. I... I think you're amazing... but that's also why I don't want you anywhere near my problems."

"Yozora—" Natsume said before Mitsuki cut her off.

"Nabi. Let him finish."

I was kind of hoping she'd take the spotlight for a little bit. It would've given me some time to process my thoughts.

"There's not really much more I can say," I muttered. "My opinions of you have definitely changed, so there's that."

"In other words, you've hung out with us enough to know how we are behind the stage," Yoshino said. "Just the other day, you stole Suzu's sandwich."

"I'm still mad about that, by the way," Suguha muttered.

"I thought it was mine!" I exclaimed.

"And before that, you forgot Nabi's coffee order," Yoshino continued.

"Just a reminder, I'm allergic to nuts," Natsume grunted.

"Again, you probably should've told me that a long time ago, considering I'm the one who personally grabs your coffee..." I gulped.

Yoshino let out a chuckle. "You see? We're close enough to banter like this... so don't you also feel that we're close enough for you to share your problems with us?"

There they go again, giving me those worried looks. What am I supposed to do with that? I’ve never been good at handling these situations, and even after all the times I've been through it, I still can’t get used to it. It doesn’t make sense why they’d even care.

Reluctantly, I stood up and began making my way to the door. Surprisingly, none of them tried to stop me, so for once... I stopped myself.

"You know, I never thought I'd ever get to this point," I scoffed. "Like you said, Yoshino, we did end up getting closer, so I won't keep lying to you guys. I'm not fine—at all. I don't think I'll ever be, and I probably won't tell you why, now more than ever. You guys already have a lot on your plate. There's no need for me to add more to it. I appreciate your concerns, but... just leave it be. You worry about yourselves... and I'll worry about me."

Eventually, the day had gone by. Sunayomi finished up their rehearsal, loitered around for a bit, and sang their hearts out in a karaoke session. I could've sworn I heard some of their unholy screams from the storage room.

After they were done with the rehearsal room, I went back in the clean up. However, I stopped when I found Natsume sleeping on a bench toward the back wall. She was shivering from how cold the room was, and every breath she let out was shaky.

"And here they are, bashing me about sleeping in the office..." I muttered underneath my breath. "Should I wake her up?"

As soon as that question left my mouth, I immediately erased the thought. The last time I got too close to Natsume, it was like she had seen a ghost. I probably shouldn't do anything like that again. Then again, I can't just leave her shivering like this.

I'm gonna regret this idea sooner or later. I took off my jacket and gently rested it on top of her. Thankfully, it's about three sizes too big for me, which is just enough to cover her entire upper body, and more.

As quietly as I could, I got to work. All the while, Natsume was sleeping soundly. Should I wake her up before I leave? Maybe I'll just text the group chat.

"Oh, you're still here?" a strangely normal voice asked.

I turned around to see Mitsuki walking in, so I quickly planted a finger on my lips. She paused in her tracks as I pointed to the sleeping Natsume. That was when she realized.

"Oops," she whispered. "How long has she been like that?"

"Ever since I got here."

"Wait... Is that your jacket?"

"Yeah. She was shivering, so I put it on her."

"Oho~ wow. Quite the gentleman, aren't you?"

"Not really. As Nae would put it, I'm just a lonely goblin."

With a quiet 'hup,' I pushed the last of the props toward the back corner of the room.

Mitsuki let out a soft chuckle. "Well, she's not wrong, but... Hm..."

The way she looked at me made me nervous. It was subtle mix of curiosity and something else that I couldn't quite place.

"W-what...?"

"Ah, it's nothing," she smiled, a teasing glint in her eyes. "It's just... I've never seen you outside of your jacket before. Not bad at all, Yozora."

Instinctively, I crossed my arms over my chest, stumbling back as my face heated up. She only smiled wider, her eyes narrowing in playful amusement.

"Q-quit looking at me like that..." I mumbled.

"Hehe. Sorry. So, you're about to leave for the day. Are you going to take your jacket back?"

"I thought about it, but I shouldn't. It looks like she needs it more than I do."

"It's cold outside, though."

"I'll just suck it up for now. I always said I liked the cold. Let's see how that holds up.

"Hah... Well, see you later, Yozora."

"Yeah. See you."