The Chair Obtains a Disguise

Okay, new idea.
Merchants had the most accurate news about the surrounding area, so I went around to each stall to ask some questions. Unlike the adventurers, the merchants charged a small silver for information, but it was a pittance compared to what Kumari paid me, when she paid me.

Unfortunately, the merchants were completely useless. The only thing they mentioned was that beasts were acting weird in some parts of the forest, but beasts acted weird all the time. If it was an actual concern, the Adventurer’s Guild or the town guard would’ve done something about it. I could care less.

I headed over to the next stall, but the merchant was talking to one of their customers. He was a man in his late forties, dressed in standard garb, but don’t be fooled. Each piece of clothing could stop a sword or basic magic spell with ease. He had a bit of a beer belly, but he moved faster than most adventurers in their prime.

I knew this fella quite well. He might have retired, but I still saw him in dungeons from time to time, restocking his wares.

“Hey Bou. Been a while,” I said once he finished talking to his customer. Bou turned around and smiled

“Oh ho! If it isn’t the chairman himself!” He wrapped his arms around my body, giving me a panda hug, knowing that it wouldn’t hurt me. “Where have you been? And, actually, where’s that chair of yours?”

“Stuck in a dungeon for the last season because of a little accident. And the chair is hanging out in [Pocket] right now.”

“Ah, Kumari’s got you workin’ hard, I see.” Bou looked me over, appraising my worth, as usual. “Can’t believe you managed to modify [Pocket] though. Now you just look like a weird noble.”

“Thanks for the compliment, panda.”

“Anytime!” he laughed. “So what’re you doin’ around here? Never seen you buy an item before.”

“Well, actually…” I explained to him the task Kumari pushed onto me, along with my current idea for the exam. “Does that match up with your intel, No. 4.?” I asked with a glance behind me.

“Yes, it does.” Oh, good. It was actually No. 4 this time.

“Whoa! You just up an’ appeared outta nowhere!” Bou was surprised, but his eyes widened even further once he noticed the ears atop her head. “A beastwoman? Don’t see them too–huh? Beastwomen don’t have human ears, do they?”

“They’re still people, by the way.” I had no desire to explain what No. 4 was, nor let him call hi-her such a derogatory term, so my tone was a bit sharp.

“Ah, my bad,” Bou, reading between the lines, apologized.

Of course, No. 4 brushed it off with, “I do not care,” and a glare. I would like to say it was partly for my sake, but she genuinely did not care. If only she would…

Boud redirected the conversation, noticing the awkward atmosphere. “Well, regardless, that idea sounds like exactly the type of thing you would make, Stu. You are plannin’ on reimbursin’ the kids, right? Making them use those items isn’t cheap.”

“Of course. I can make them, after all.”

“Figure as much,” Bou muttered. “Well, if you’re doin’ something like that, I have a piece of news you’d be interested in.” Bou signaled me to come closer, so I leaned in. “Seems like a rainstorm is goin’ to be happenin’ near Dragon’s Sigh a couple of days from now.” Ooh, now that was useful. Dragon’s Sigh was a cave about a three days’ walk from town, rumored to be home to a dragon. Of course, there wasn’t anything dangerous there anymore. I visited the place quite a few times when hanging out with some family.

Yes, I did have family members. A wife too, no matter how many people didn’t believe me.

“How bad will the rainstorm be?”

“From what I saw, it’d be the perfect challenge for an incomin’ group of B-ranks.”

“Neat, that works perfectly. The guild is likely aware of it too, so it should be fair game.”

“Are you sure the guild knows? If you don’t report it, Kumari might have you for dinner.”

“... I’ll make sure to tell her.”

“Ha ha! Still can’t go against her, huh?” Bou chuckled deeply.

“Oh, shut up. How much do I owe you for the info?”

“Consider it on the house for givin' me a good laugh.” I could only groan in response. Once Bou calmed down, he wore a more conflicted expression. “Make sure to go easy on them.”

“Don’t worry, that’s always the plan.”

“I’m pretty sure your definition of easy is on death’s door.”

“It’s at least a good foot away.” Hey, he didn’t have to sigh about it!

“Make sure he doesn’t go too far,” Bou glanced at No. 4.

“Okay.” Seriously! There was no way they were actually going to die…probably!

I averted my eyes to the side, where I noticed a giant beige and black dotted poncho. It looked a bit conspicuous, but it would serve as the perfect disguise. It was a bit strange that Bou would have such an item in stock.

“Why do you have such weird rags?”

“Oh, those? One of my customers wears them quite often, so I tend to have a surplus in stock. Do you need one?”

“Yeah, it should work great.” I threw the poncho over myself, using a bit of light magic to hide my face underneath the opening. “So, how do I look?”

Bou winced a little. “Like a creep.”

“Like usual.”

“I don’t like what you’re implying there, No.4.”

Bou sighed. “Wouldn’t it be better to cast an illusion over your entire body?”

“And keep that up for three days? No way, too much work.”

“Carry a bag or somethin’ then. You can pass yourself off as a merchant. An immoral merchant, but a merchant nonetheless.”

“Hmm, that’s actually not a bad idea, but I plan on saying that I can use [Pocket], so I’ll just stick with this. Also, it looks fine, thank you very much!” I handed Bou a large bronze for the rag.

“Yeah, yeah. Now get out of here.” Bou waved me off lazily, but I decided to ignore his exasperation. All that’s left was to get the other pieces in place. I’d have to call in a favor too.

Even with No. 4 helping me, it was going to be a long night.

…ugh.