Louder than Words

The next day, I stormed into the studio with only one goal in mind. I have to convince Manager Na to keep me out of the this... Osaka trip.

"Morning, Yozora," Akira said.

"Morning," I said back.

Although it seemed like he had a whole story to tell me, I rushed past him. There's only one thing I'm willing to hear right now, and no matter what, I'm gonna hear it.

As I approached the rehearsal room, the final notes of their song drifted out, signaling the end of their practice. Perfect timing. I pushed the door open just as they were finishing. The girls turned to look at me, sweat glistening on their faces, while Manager Na raised a questioning brow.

I had come in with so much to say, convinced that when the moment arrived, I could voice my thoughts without hesitation. But now, standing here, my mouth clamped shut. Every ounce of confidence I had moments ago shattered, leaving me speechless.

"Yozora?" Suguha called out. "You alright?"

"Uh... U-um..."

Natsume walked over and leaned in close—closer than I thought she would ever get to me.

"Your cheeks are red," she said. "Are you cold? Maybe you should sit down for a bit."

"Actually, I... came here to say..."

They all stayed silent, giving me the perfect opportunity to speak. And yet, still, nothing came out.

"...Do you guys want me to pick up coffee...?" I finished almost incoherently.

"What, all that buildup for this?" Mitsuki grumbled.

"We'd love some coffee, Yozora," Yoshino smiled.

"G-got it..."

Just like that, I found myself at the coffee shop, ordering coffee for them.

I think I just learned something about myself. Or maybe, I've always known. I can stand up to people if they come at me for no reason—that's never been the issue, at least for a while.

A paid trip to Osaka with the Sunayomi? Who in their right mind would say no to that? It sounds fun and exciting, and it's being handed to me, of all people. But the truth is... I don’t really wanna go.

I don't have a real reason for why. It's not because of them, nor is it because I don't think it'll be fun. I just don't wanna go.

Okay. I'll just tell them tomorrow. Maybe today just isn't that day.

And so, tomorrow came. Once again, I walked into the studio. I even rehearsed what I wanted to say in front of a mirror this morning. This is it.

I walked into the rehearsal room, but the girls weren't dressed in their sports outfit. Instead, they were wearing jackets and coats... as if they were getting ready to go out.

"Ah, Yozora. You're here," Yoshino said. "Are you ready?"

"R-ready for what?" I gulped.

"Eh? Didn't you read the group chat?" Suguha asked. "We're going shopping for things to take with us to Osaka! Wooo~!"

"Woo!" Natsume cheered along in a more mellow tone.

"That's the spirit, Nabi! Say it louder!"

"W-woo..."

"Eh?! That was quieter than the last one!"

"Um... About the trip," I said.

"No time, Yozora," Mitsuki said as she snatched my wrist. "Manager Na is waiting for us in the van. Let's go. Otherwise, we're going to fall behind schedule. We spent too long waiting for you."

"Oh... Right..."

The rest of the day was filled with shopping, eating, then shopping again. Before I knew it, I was back at home, staring at the wall like a zombie.

"What... are you doing, Big Bro?" Nae asked.

"Rethinking my life choices."

"I'll say. You've been standing there for ten minutes. What is it?"

I doubt Nae would know how to handle this situation, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask for her opinion. Who knows? Maybe she'll have an insightful answer to my dilemma.

"How do I decline something from Sunayomi?" I asked.

"You don't. Just take it, cuz receiving a gift from Sunayomi is a dream come true."

I don't even know what I expected.

"Jeez, you're really out of it, huh?" Nae scoffed. "What did they even try to give you?"

"It's not really a gift or anything like that. Recently, I learned the they're gonna perform at a festival in Osaka, and they're forcing me to go."

Nae didn't say anything. Maybe she's finally realized that this doesn't seem like that much of an opportunity. I turned to look at her, and all of that was thrown into the garbage bin. The way she was looking at me with those wide eyes and open mouth was indicative of only one thing.

"Nae, don't screa—"

"WHAT?!" she screamed. "Are you crazy, Big Bro?! They're taking you down to Osaka for their performance, and you're trying to reject it? People are gonna PAY to go down there just to see them!"

"Well, that's the issue, isn't it? You know me, Nae. I don't like doing unnecessary things like going out, much less traveling all the way down there, even if it is for them. I just don't feel like going. That's really it."

"Gosh, it genuinely hurts me that my big brother is such an introvert. Doesn't even see this golden opportunity..."

"I mean... I'm Sunayomi's personal assistant, and I still feel like it's more of a chore than anything else."

"That's exactly what I mean! You're so weird!"

This isn't going anywhere. I should've known that Nae would jump on the Sunayomi bandwagon.

A golden opportunity, huh? Am I just not seeing it? I don't think my mindset is gonna change any time soon, so I need to tell them as soon as possible. Casually, no rehearsals or anything. I'm just gonna say it.

Another day passed.

"Hey, guys. I need to tell you something," I said.

"Oh, do you think it can wait, Yozora?" Natsume politely asked. "We need to get our routine down for the festival."

"Ah... Got it."

Another day passed.

"Hey, guys. I need to tell—"

"Yozora!" Suguha shouted. "Hey, hey, you wanna come with me to the storage room? I think I left something in there!"

"S-sure?"

Another day passed.

"Hey, guys. I need—"

"Shut up, Yozora," Mitsuki muttered.

"Okay..."

Another day passed.

"Hey—"

This time, no one stopped me. Instead, all of them just stared at me as if I were an alien. Did I get so used to being cut off that I just stopped myself?

Weird... Funny how that works.

"What's on your mind, Yozora?" Yoshino asked.

"Oh, um..."

Okay, deep breath. I think I got this. All I have to do is tell them that I don't wanna go. That's it. Nothing else. Here I go...

"I don't wanna go. Huh... That wasn't so bad."

"Eh?!" Suguha exclaimed. "W-what do you mean you don't wanna go?!"

"Exactly how it sounds. I don't feel like going. Traveling sounds like a death sentence for me."

"But... It's only a two hour flight," Natsume mumbled.

"It's still a far way from home. I have to take care of my little sister, after all."

"Don't worry about that," Mitsuki said. "I sent a small care package to your address. By now, she should've seen it."

"That's not the whole thing, though!"

"Yozora."

Yoshino stepped in front of the group with a certain look that sent chills up my spine. I'm in for an earful now, aren't I?

"Tell us straight up," she said. "Why don't you want to go?"

"I... don't really know. I just don't. It's not for me."

"B-but...!" Natsume rushed over and clasped her hands together, her eyes pleading at me. "You have to come with us, Yozora... Please?"

"...Do I really?"

"If you don't go, then... who will keep us company?" Suguha asked. 

"I don't know, but why does it have to be me?"

"Guys, just stop," Mitsuki said as she turned to me. "Yozora. Do you really not want to go? If you say no, then that's that. We'll go without you."

Their eyes turned to me, and to my surprise, they seemed... sad. Even Mitsuki, who I was certain would want me to stay behind, looked disappointed.

All I have to do is say no, and I won't have to go. Just one word, and I'll avoid this headache. But my mouth wouldn’t move.

Why am I feeling bad? Why do I care when this relationship is supposed to be temporary?

The answer should be simple. Like always, I need to look after myself first. Nothing else should matter, right? I don’t like being around people. I'll do whatever I can to avoid them, and yet… here I am, struggling to say no, feeling a pull I can’t quite explain.

I keep telling myself I don’t feel like going, that it’s not because of them. I’ve spent so much time trying to avoid getting close, trying to protect myself from getting hurt again. But now, standing here, seeing the disappointment in their eyes... I realize something.

I'm falling back into that hole... the one that, if everything goes wrong, will leave me scarred once more.

I know what might happen. I know the risk. For the first time in a long time, I find myself wanting to be with someone, and it just so happens that there are four of them. Maybe for once... I'll take that risk.

"Sheesh... Why can't you guys just order me to do what you want like every other boss I've had?" I sighed, before I slipped on a smile. Only this time... I could feel it on my face. "When are we going?"

For a brief moment, they all stared at me, their mouths slightly ajar in surprise. But just as quickly, those expressions transformed into the brightest smiles I'd ever seen.

"Hah... Would you look at that?" Mitsuki chuckled.

"Not what I was expecting, but I'll take it," Yoshino scoffed.

"Yay! Yozora's coming with us!" Suguha cheered as she threw herself onto me.

"Thank you, Yozora!" Natsume grinned.

Yeah... Maybe it won't be so bad after all.