Sharp Conviction

I once thought that only I had it rough in life—that not a single person in the world could suffer as much as I did. It was a selfish assumption, to think that others weren't struggling while I was. A rough dime in a shiny dozen. That's what I am, and that's how I always perceived myself.

But now, as I stand here, watching Yoshino on the edge of the stone wall, I can only think about what she was planning on doing... and how I couldn't have been more wrong.

"Yoshino..."

"Hello, Yozora. Hah... And here I was thinking that I'd have some peace and quiet at last. How did you manage to find me so fast? I was never one to leave crumbs."

"I... have my ways."

"Oh? So you really were a stalker all along?"

"What? No!"

"Hehe. I'm just kidding."

For a moment, we both stared at each other. What's wrong with me? I chased her down, but for what? Because I knew that something was up. I knew from the tone of her voice... and from what I just tried to do... that I couldn't leave her alone.

But what now? I'm here. I'm standing right in front of her, and I'm looking at her. I thought I could talk her out of it, but talk her out of what? I don't even know if what I think is really what's going on. And even if it were, what could I possibly say? Empathize? That's meaningless coming from the guilty. Condemn? Coming from me, those words would be no more than hypocrisy.

"Yozora?" Yoshino called out with a smile.

"H-huh...?"

"Pft~ Oh, come on. You went out of your way to track me down and came all this way. I know you don't know how to drive, so you must've run here. Judging by how you're still sweaty and catching your breath, I'd say I've hit the nail on the head. So? Why are you here?"

"...Yoshino." I gulped when she fixed her eyes on me. "What... are you doing up here?"

"Hm? I'm enjoying the view. It's nice, isn't it? The city, all the lights, not a single bumbling idiot around to bother me, Yoshino Yoko of Sunayomi. Haha, well... with the exception of you."

For some reason, my chest hurts. I don't know what she's doing up here, but I have a solid guess. After all... I was about to do the very same thing, but I can't just bring that up, can I? Especially when I don't know the full story.

"Is that... really all?" I mumbled.

That was when her face visibly shifted. Her smile faded, replaced by a somewhat blank expression that seemed a lot more... judgmental and cautious.

"If not just that, then what is it that you think I'm doing here, Yozora?"

"I don't know," I replied with uncertainty.

"No. You do. Otherwise, you wouldn't have come running here... because that's the kind of person you are. Always keeping to yourself, always hiding your pain, yet the second you notice that something is wrong with us, you choke back your suffering to help us. And for what? To keep us from worrying? Well, your plan failed miserably. Exhibit one, the group chat."

"...There's no reason for you to worry about me."

"And why do you say that? Because we're idols? Because we're famous? Because compared to us, you surmount to nothing? Did you really believe that we would stoop low enough to think that way of you?"

I bit my lips and clenched my fists. It's weird because that is exactly what I thought—what I always told myself. I'm just a nobody compared to them, so why would they feel the need to worry about me?

"Heh. Gosh..." Yoshino scoffed. "You know, I wasn't exaggerating when I said that I've been watching you very closely. The way you're always so gloomy, combined with your attitude and how you perceive yourself and those around you, it really wasn't hard to figure out the worst-case scenario. Yozora... You were planning something unthinkable just now... weren't you?"

And the truth comes out, yet I wasn't surprised at all. The only thing I could do was avert her eyes. Even then, I knew that she was glaring at me, expecting some kind of an answer.

"Why?" she asked. "Why do you insist on keeping it all to yourself when you know that you're hurting? Did you..."

Her voice cracked at that moment, pulling my gaze upward despite the weight pinning it down. The moment I saw her, my heart clenched with an unforgiving grip, and regret surged like a tidal wave, threatening to drown me.

Tears. Tears were streaming down her face.

"Did you really think... that we wouldn't care...?" she muttered.

Her words pierced through me, scattering the fragile walls I had built around my heart. My throat tightened, and all I could do was stare, helpless against the storm of emotions swirling within me.

"I know what you're thinking, Yozora," Yoshino said. "I know what you thought I came here to do... and guess what? You're partially right. If you hadn't come, hah... I'm not even sure if I would still be standing here right now. But you know what's the funniest part? It's that no matter how angry I am at you for being so stupid... I'd be nothing more than a hypocrite. You've seen them... haven't you?"

Despite the lack of context, I knew exactly what she was talking about.

"The comments online," I mumbled.

"That's right. No matter how brave I try to be, or how confident I try to make myself seem, the truth is that I'm just one girl. The words of total strangers? Yeah, they get to me, more than I thought they would. And just like you, I hid the pain away. I tried to not let it show. I kept it all to myself to keep the girls from worrying... and it was only after today that I realized... They worried about me all along, just like how I worried about you."

How could I have let it come to this? How could I, knowing how much I've been through, still fail to recognize the people who cared about me? Her pain was palpable, and the thought that I might have caused even a fraction of it was unbearable.

"That was the final straw for me," Yoshino said. "I've always hated myself because of what other people thought about me, but I what hated the most... was the fact that I didn't do more for you, Yozora."

"...Me...?"

"You. I was there when you were visibly hurt, yet I stood still. My legs wouldn't move."

"Yoshino—"

That was when her voice rose, trembling with emotion until it reached a near scream. "And as much as I wanted to reach out and grab you, I didn't! Even when I was standing right in front of you! Maybe I could've done something... Maybe I could've made you feel better somehow, but... Just the thought of you disappearing forever, knowing I had the chance to...! T-to...!"

Her words faltered, breaking under the weight of her anguish. She cupped her hands over her mouth, stifling the sobs that threatened to overtake her. A sniffle escaped, then another, each one followed by a sharp, raspy breath. Before I could even process it, she bolted forward and slammed into my chest, her cries erupting like a dam finally shattered.

Her wails echoed into the night, raw and unrestrained. They carried sorrow long suppressed, pain finally set free—but also a profound relief that the worst outcome had been avoided.

"Y-Yoshino..."

Without hesitation, I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tightly against me as though I could shield her from the cold—and from everything else that had ever hurt her. Her body trembled, and her fingers clawed into my back as if afraid I might slip away again.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, the words barely audible over her sobs. "I'm... I’m sorry, Yoshino. I'm so, so sorry."

Beneath the darkness of the sky, we held each other, not as an idol or a nobody, but as two ordinary people with their own struggles.

"Yozora... You're still here, right? I'm not just going crazy and seeing a ghost... right?"

"...I'm here, Yoshino."

"Good. Good..."