What Is Power?

I woke up in a hospital room. It was a rainy night.

I was still feeling dizzy, and my memory was blurry. My wound was still hurting, but at least I was still alive. There was nobody else but me in the room. I started watching outside the window. There was a good view, enlightened by the city lights. The rain was soothing the soul, and, well, I was feeling peaceful.

I wondered, how was Tatsumi? I wondered if she woke up as well. Her wound was worse than mine, but I believed that she'd be fine. I wasn't worrying about any physical injury, but her losses... It would be more painful and eventually take more time to recover. It wasn't her father that she only lost, she probably lost a lot of people that she knew from her childhood. The people that were beside her all the time, the people who raised her. That's why I hated this world, it was all disgusting. I shared the same fate years ago, but these kinds of things will eventually keep happening, as long as the mafia exists.

It took a few weeks to be discharged from the hospital. It was another day with rain. It was as if the entire city was in mourning for what had recently happened. Tatsumi was fine, at least that was what I heard. She refused to accept any visitors, so I couldn't see her.

Autumn had come. I went for a short walk to the park I always go to. It has almost been a year since I came to Japan and half a year since I joined the Kurokawa family. The first three months were really peaceful. All I had to do was learn the language and get to know the neighborhood.

During my stay in the hospital, some men from the Yamakawa family explained to me what happened. The Miyazaki family was over. Miyazaki Shinji escaped the city with his wife, and his children had given their last breaths during the war. Now, they were all searching for the location of the former mafia leader. All property of the Miyazaki family passed to the Kurokawa family; now it was all up to Tatsumi to decide what to do with them.

As I turned the last corner to the park, I saw the same old man sitting on the same bench with an umbrella. He was surely waiting for me, since it wasn't a good time to feed the birds in this rain. I kept walking and sat beside him.

"How do you feel, young man?"

"Fine, I guess."

"Do you have any regrets?"

"Partially."

"And what will you do about them?"

"I don't have anything in my head in particular."

"Why is that?"

"I don't have the power for it. I couldn't change anything, even though I said I would."

"What is power to you?"

"Well, ability to do the things you want to, I guess?"

"Is that so?"

He wasn't satisfied with my answer.

"Real power is something beyond that. It's the ability to make decisions, the ability to change the course of events. Furthermore, power is being respected by others. Until now, you couldn't make any choice. Destiny dragged you from here to there as it wished. In the end, you lost all your hope and gave up."

"I tried my best to change the course of events, though."

"You shouldn't have let those events to occur in the first place."

"Is that even possible?"

"It is, as long as you know them coming. But let's say that it was too late to prevent it from happening. You shouldn't have lost your hope. Don't forget; even in the most hopeless situations, one person who has not lost hope can change everything."

"But, how could I know that? I had no control over any part of that situation."

"And that's the third part, respect. Respect comes along with trust. There was one person who knew a lot, yet that person chose to not say anything to you."

He was certainly talking about Misaki.

"You would have done something with the information you might have gotten. Of course, I'm well aware that there was more surprise behind the curtain. However, the whole chain of events was triggered because you had to step in to get more information. The war that was on the horizon therefore occurred earlier."

"So it was all my fault, you say?"

"Well, that's something you should figure out on your own. However, there are still a few things that you might want to do."

He took a folded paper out of his pocket and gave it to me.

"There is something important written in this paper. What you want to do with the information on this paper is entirely up to you to decide."

A black car pulled over to the entrance of the park. Since the streets were mostly empty, it was easy to notice.

"Now then, it seems like it is time for me to leave."

"I have one last question, even though I might already know the answer."

"What is it?"

"Who are you, really?"

The old man laughed.

"I believe you are right, young man. You already know the answer."

Yamakawa Danno was a mysterious man. He knew everything right from the start. He seemed to know me as well; it wouldn't be a surprise if he told my real name all of a sudden. There are more things that I want to learn, though. What was the reason for his interest in me? How did he know that much about me? I had no answers to give. He had his own plans for me, but I couldn't figure out why.

I unfolded the paper and started reading. Even though he told me that it was all up to my decision, he certainly wanted me to take care of this matter. Otherwise, there wouldn't be any reason for him to give me this piece of paper. I was happy, though. Now I had my chance to make up for my mistakes. I was grateful.

The strongest yakuza family of the whole of Japan, the Yamakawa family, already found the location of Miyazaki Shinji, and they were expecting me to get revenge.